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Posts tagged ‘blogging’

Oct 20

5 Comments

Now for the “real life” blogger moms

momswithoutblogsLast week I ranted about the mannequin-style approach at Mom Bloggers Club. Amy and Emma-Jane pointed out that the site’s header depicts women who are clearly NOT at home trying to bang out a blog post on an old laptop with a shift key that no longer works while the forgotten broccoli steams to mush on the stove and the kids pull each other’s hair out in front of a Disney DVD.

Many of you who shared the pain may be glad to hear about Moms without Blogs, a site for mother bloggers and non-bloggers who DON’T aspire to be the Martha Stewarts of the web. Moms without Blogs is “a team of super-cool chicas from around the country (both with and without blogs) who are committed to building this community of average supermoms by sharing our stories as real modern-day mamas. We each contribute an original, distinct flavor and style to this enterprise but together we are ‘MWOB.'” From the site’s about page:

Moms without Blogs is a place for moms and women to congregate together, support one another and gain strength in the knowledge that we are not alone when we feel oh so far from having it all together.

There’s a ton of information these days flying around at moms and moms-to-be about what we need to do or should be doing to be “good” moms.  So much in fact that sometimes it’s hard to hear the most important voice of all — our own.

This space in the blogosphere is made up of women who are working hard to embrace our feelings of inadequacy as mothers and to remind ourselves that it’s okay to have a bad day, it’s okay to not have an organic meal prepared for dinner, it’s okay to not have a blog where we write about our fabulous educational outings with our kids, it’s okay to not to have an innovative craft project planned for a Saturday afternoon, it’s okay to yell at our kids from time to time, it’s okay to have piles of dirty laundry in the hallway, it’s okay to feel buried by an avalanche of paper, it’s okay to not want to enroll our kids in a slew of classes to make sure they are “exceptional”, and it’s okay to admit that the happiest time of the day is the end of the day when the kids are finally asleep.

And most of all, our mission over here at MWOB is that, although there are external signs everywhere pointing us in all kinds of directions telling us what it means to be a supermom, we know that the real truth is…

“Being a supermom is simply a state of mind.” So get yourself in the right state of mind and spread the word.

Now THAT’S a little more like it, wouldn’t you say?

Oct 15

14 Comments

Kelly: Love Is Time

Partially cross-posted from my personal blog…

In my SLS class last night, we talked about values and time management and how our value structure plays a huge part in managing our time.  I show an inspirational video in each class, and the one I showed last night struck a chord with just about everyone in the room. Click here for the video. I showed it at the close of the class and at the end of it, I heard “awwww”s erupt from the room and then saw a few tears as they quietly filed out of the class.  It has the same effect on me every time I watch it, so I thought I’d share it with you here. It’s a good reminder that time is precious and you may never know the effect you have on another person, simply because you took an extra moment to connect. I think this rings so true to the message Brittany shared in her Creative Journey post.  Those boys will remember that day forever.

timeIt seems that we’ve all been traveling along similar paths and experiencing some of the same frustrations here lately, as evidenced by some of our posts. We all come at this combining motherhood and creativity challenge from a little different perspective, i.e. writers vs. visual artists vs. stay-at-home-moms vs. work-outside-the home moms, but as I mentioned in my rant to Cathy recently, the percentage of  stay-at-home-moms in the blogosphere seems to be very high. I’d wager that at least 80% of those who regularly subscribe to the Mom Blogger’s Club are stay-at-home-moms.

I was telling a friend of mine about my recent rant on Cathy’s post and she had an interesting perspective. She’s divorced, has no children, and is definitely not a creative type, but she most definitely never hesitates in speaking her mind. Her thoughts were that maybe instead of spending so much time on the computer blogging about how little time they have, they could be using that time to actually do something a little more productive. I know that suggestion may ruffle some feathers here, but I also know that the lesson didn’t escape me either. Regardless of where we work — in an actual office away from home or right there at home — maybe we all spend a little too much time complaining about how little time we have when we could be using that time more productively, like in my case anyway, spending more quality time with my girls. A bit reminiscent of our Someday is Today discussion, don’t you think?

Oct 14

9 Comments

Mom Bloggers Club: Timing is everything

mombloggersclubaprilbannerfallNo offense, Mom Bloggers Club, but the recent post on My Favorite Writing Habits and Approaches left a few rather gaping holes.

This part was reasonable enough: “To develop your writing and/or passion, first make your presence with it a priority. It is simple. Make time and space for it.”

But this is all that the author has to offer for making that time and space:

TIME
Find the ideal pocket of time in your usual routine. Whether you develop a little bit of it daily or focus on it once every week, find the spot that is just right; one that flows with your energy.

Use this as a “rock” in your flow. Allow other things to move around it; keep it your priority.

I prefer mornings when the energy is fresh and it is more likely to be nice and quiet so that I can really be with my self and am not as easily distracted.

SPACE
Set up a space customized for developing your passion; one that is attractive to you and draws you in. Place all the essential tools customized for you and this project within easy reach. Make it so that it prompts your creative flow and feels great to be in.

Visit it every day, a few times. Even if just for a check in. Allow it to serve as a keystone to always keep you connected.

Uhm….what about the kids who are climbing up onto your lap with peanut-butter fingers, impaling their thumbs on your stapler and trying to electrocute themselves by sucking on the end of your PC’s power cord?

I think the topics of time and space merit more exposition. For content geared specifically to mothers, we need HELP. Well, I do, anyway. Perhaps, given that this post was directed toward bloggers, not “writers,” I’m being too harsh. I probably shouldn’t critique ANY attempt to be helpful. I’m sure the author has the best of intentions, and judging from the comments, there were those who found inspiration in the post. But considering that this piece was featured in the Mom Bloggers newsletter, I think there is room for a little more exploration.

Glossing over this terrain only adds to my existing frustration. There are mothers who want desperately to express themselves creatively — mothers who are crying in the frozen food aisle right this second, because they are so painfully separated from the creative part of themselves and can’t figure out how to reconcile the dichotomous pieces of their lives — and this kind of advice doesn’t really apply to them. When you have very young children at home — and limited resources — I don’t think that it’s as easy as finding a pocket of time in your usual routine (let alone a pocket that actually optimizes your biorhythms), and setting up some space for your work. Isn’t that the whole reason why this blog — our blog — has the following that it has? This stuff isn’t easy or simple, even though we wish it were. Maybe, for some women, it isn’t so complicated. Those are probably the women who have FINISHED their novels, too.

<sigh….>

Sep 28

3 Comments

WOW! Women on Writing

wowWOW! (Women on Writing) is a useful website and complementary blog that the writers among us may enjoy browsing. The website hosts a flash fiction contest and a collection of useful articles, including:

From the site’s About page:

WOW! is a global magazine, designed to support women’s creativity, energy, blood, sweat and tears, throughout all stages of the writing process. We envision Wow! being a favorite watering hole for professionals, the up-and-coming, and the recipients of our labors — the avid readers.

Our concept is unique, as it fills in the missing gap between writing websites and women’s magazines. We are dedicated to raising the overall standards within the writing community, and devote an active profile within writing industry associations, organizations and websites.

Ultimately, WOW! hopes to contribute to the love, enjoyment and excitement of producing quality writing — so that the reader in all of us will never want for good material, in any form.

Sep 25

11 Comments

Cathy: Not selling myself short

Crosspost from musings in mayhem.

The question of balancing motherhood and creativity arises constantly. The other day, I read a very interesting wake-up call over on and her head popped off. I loved the photograph of the mom going ahead with painting whilst her toddler hung upside down, squiggling on her lap. The mom in the photo is continuing her creative work regardless of being a mom as is the photographer and author. The essence of what Terri wrote was just shut up and do it. If you really want it, you’ll make it happen.

I think that’s why a lot of us mother-writers blog. It’s a piece of writing, that while it may not necessarily change the world or be the next Great American Novel, keeps us going. We can do it in the snatches of time during naps, or a bit of quiet while school aged kids are out of the house, in between loads of laundry and sinkfuls of dishes. We can focus for a few minutes, while our Big Project waits sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently for a chance to be the focus. We can do it while a wiggling toddler cuddles in for a snuggle while our fingers click away on a keyboard, like at this very moment that I write.

My old photography self of eons past has been relegated to largely okay pics of the kids and whatever catches my eye, with a little automatic easy camera rather than one I could make adjustments on, given the time and the perogative. The old dancer self still throws down in the kitchen periodically, albeit stiffly and ungainly. The old performer self regales at the dinner table in silly voices and fake opera, when I can get a word in edgewise among the constant stream of noise from all three kids. The old drawing self, will doodle now and then, and more often pretend large invisible canvases in sweeping gestures with my arms while I sit vegging out in front of the tv of an evening, too exhausted to do anything more. Honey must wonder what I’m doing over there, but is too polite or exhausted himself. Other times, I am making chi pottery, sitting with my hands balled around or manipulating invisible clay.

And I blog. I post something every weekday since I started this with the exception of when I took a summer excursion.

I know I have a manuscript that really wants to be finished and shopped. Believe me, if I could focus on that right now, I would. But when it comes to the big writing, I need more mental energy than I currently have. I also have three horizontal file drawers of poems and short stories that could use editing, compiling, submitting, as well as how many on the hard drive that need the same, and the three journals in my bedside drawer, dog-eared where good ideas are languishing. And then there’s that screenplay idea from about eight years ago that still won’t die, and I’ve lost the outline for ages ago.

But, for right now, This is what I can write, while I chase C away from the dog food again when things have gotten a bit too quiet. I’m doing a pretty fair job of it. And yes, I just wrote another very self-referential blog about blogging. But I’m doing it. I am writing.

Sep 15

3 Comments

On Being a Vessel

A beautiful and interesting post on motherhood and creativity at WishStudio from guest blogger Suzanne Sperl. An excerpt:

i believe somewhere i read a quote from goldie hawn in which she referred to motherhood as being a vessel for your children to pass through — both literally and figuratively. being on the cusp of the birth of our second child, i can see the wisdom in her words. our children are separate of us the moment they greet this world. our job as mothers is to nurture, guide, teach, listen, and expose them to the beauty and wonders of this world — but they will always experience this in their own unique and individual ways.

as i started thinking about this, i realized creativity too passes through us in much the very same way. some seedling of an idea, a thought, a poem, photograph or painting begins within us but quickly becomes much bigger than us and we must ‘birth’ those ideas into reality — but they are never truly our own nor do we control them. they are born from us, contain pieces of us, but they are separate of us — and greet the world this way.

so in thinking about all of this, i wondered why it is that creative people (more personally, this creative person) tend to fear the creation of their ideas? when i started to think about creativity in the same way that i have come to view motherhood — i was reminded that we truly control so little in our lives. and some of the most successful moments we face are those when we are brave enough to step out of our own way, let go of the invisible leash of control, and just allow the moments to pass through us without resistance. in doing so, we seem to find strength, wisdom, and creative courage.

Read the full post here.

Sep 7

6 Comments

Blog Spotlight: And Her Head Popped Off

The only thing better than discovering another very cool blog written by a creative mother is realizing that I actually KNOW the blogger, even if I use the term “know” rather loosely, as in, friend of a friend of a friend whose name rings a familiar bell.

terri3Such was the case with And Her Head Popped Off, the blog of photographer, writer, and mother of four Terri Fischer. Terri is a friend of Suzanne Révy, who you’ve met in these pages, and I think we have another connection as well.

Terri is the real deal. You’ve got to admire a woman whose About page goes like this:

Mine is a charmed and a blessed life, filled with beauty and lessons and joy.  Here I share my journey with you, as I precariously balance motherhood and creativity–two words that are at once both a paradox and a oneness.  I tend to alternate between obsessions, generally those that include writing, photography, and drawing, but…  these four (Kiki-9; Dimples-6; Mowgli-4; Shortcake-1) hoard most of my attention.

This is me, losing my fucking mind.

Maybe one or two of us can relate.

Check out Terri’s motherhood and creativity categories. Enjoy!

Aug 31

9 Comments

Kelly: Weekly Challenge…What’s Next?

dog days

The dog days of summer are upon us, and the leaves of my gerbera daisies have browned along the edges, having long given up having the energy to bloom.  These dog days bring about the start of Fall term in my world, which usually brings about a renewed sense of energy for me. Yet this year, it has not.  Today is the first day of Fall term, and instead of feeling invigorated and ready for the start of a new year, I’m tired, hot, overscheduled and, as I set up a tent and lugged around 30 cases of water and drinks for Welcome Back at 7:30 this morning, sorely missing my staff person whose position was recently eliminated.

I spent a good part of the weekend doing what I so rarely do: absolutely nothing but sit on the couch and watch movies (well okay, in between six loads of laundry and a few updates on my website). I really needed that down time.  The girls lounged around with me, and DH took some good long naps, not feeling well.  Over the course of the weekend, I did a lot of thinking about what’s important and what’s not…what’s needed to keep me happy and what just weighs me down.  Being overscheduled is nothing new in my world, and as a working mother, much of it is out of my hands, but I’ve hit the point where I need to take some things back to make the required parts of the juggle a little more manageable.  I find that I probably spend a little too much time online, and while some of that is necessary to manage my online business presence and keep up with good friends who are far away, some of it is voluntary.  It’s those voluntary parts I need to let go of to make room for those more important things…like more time with my kids and more time to make art just for me and no one else, the kind of art I don’t have to worry about keeping an inventory of for the Riverside Arts Market and my juried shows…the kind of art I can make with my girls…the kind of art that just lets me play without feeling the pressure of a deadline.

One of those voluntary things I’ll be letting go of is my role as team leader for our North Florida Craft Revolution Etsy team.  I’m proud of the blog I created and manage for the team, but I’m also tired of having it all rest on me; I spend more time on the team blog than I do marketing my own work, and that seems a bit backwards, don’t you think?  Another of those things is this weekly challenge.  I’ve enjoyed keeping it going, yet submissions have dwindled without that $10 Amazon prize carrot, and it’s become a struggle to make sure there’s at least one entry each week.  I do this with a catch in my heart because I’ve gained much through this community, but my time is becoming more and more precious.  So with this, I bid you adieu, weekly challenge.  Should someone else want to take over the coordination, I’ll participate when I can.  

It’s scary to let things go sometimes, isn’t it? I know it is for me.  Since I’ve started blogging I’ve come across more and more blogs that talk about being true to your authentic self.  I have to admit, at first I thought that was a bunch of baloney.  I’m very much a “what you see is what you get” and “it is what it is” kinda girl.  Yet there are pieces of that authenticity movement, if you want to call it that, that have hit home with me.  And maybe the biggest part is taking charge of your life, doing the things that mean the most to you, letting go of the things that don’t matter, and finding that balance between managing your day-to-day real life while still reaching for your dreams.  It’s in my nature to juggle, so I know that won’t change, but I am working towards not having quite so many balls in the air at once.   

Jul 10

2 Comments

WishMamas: On Creative Work and Motherhood

From the lovely blog WishStudio, a post on creative work and motherhood by writer and storyteller Jen Lee. Here’s an excerpt:

When my artist friends are deliberating about becoming mothers, I don’t say, “Oh, just go for it–it will be fine.” I know this dilemma well. It took me five years to make my decision–to choose motherhood–and I wasn’t even doing creative work before I became a mother. The decision to begin writing and travel down a creative path came out of the kind of moment I’ve often had since becoming a parent: I wouldn’t take this risk for myself, I would just settle for something here. But I will take this risk for my girls, because I want them to know anything is possible. I want to show them how to find and follow dreams. Now my creative work and my mothering are intertwined like a double helix.

There are greater demands on me as a parent than there were before–physically and mentally. I have so much less solitude and silence, and that has chafed at times. I find ways to build-in solitude, for my mental health as much as for my work. When my husband worked in an office, this meant that I left every Thursday night to go to the Chocolate Room. I could write, or read, or just stare at the wall–whatever I needed. Best of all, I could watch the humanity all around me without distractions and interruptions. Sundays were my day off. Still, I take Sundays to go on artist dates, go to yoga class, eat a meal alone, and then when I come home at dinner, I’m happy to see my children and ready to dive into another week.

Lots more in this post — read it here. You’ll definitely want to add WishStudio to your regular blog reading list.

Jun 19

5 Comments

Breakfast with Thea

I know you’ve all been having hunger pains, what with so many weeks elapsing since our last Breakfast installment — so you’re sure to enjoy meeting Thea Izzi, jewelry designer, blogger, and single mother. Thea is a dear old friend of mine from high school, and she recently moved from San Fransisco back to the Boston area. She sent me her interview responses more than two months ago and I’ve been totally delinquent in posting. (Thea is too modest to note in her interview that she earned her BFA at the Rhode Island School of Design and won a Fulbright to study jewelry making in Italy, so I’ll do that for her.) Enjoy!

tniCC: Please give us an intro to who you are, what you do, and your family headcount.
TI: My name is Thea Izzi and I’m a jewelry designer, artist, and metalsmith. I am a single mother of one beautiful 2.5-year-old boy named Edan. We just moved to the Boston area from the SF Bay Area a few weeks ago!

CC: Tell us about your jewelry design and how your work has evolved. Any other creative pursuits?
TI: It’s always difficult to answer this question because I feel so often that my work and ideas come out of nowhere. My inspiration comes from basic geometric shapes in nature and architecture and repeated patterns. It’s what feels good to me. My process is about playing and discovering new ways of engineering or putting together interesting parts in a simple yet aesthetically pleasing way. What is produced tends to mirror a much deeper connection to rhythm, balance, and feminine energy. Usually it is someone else who is drawn to the force of energy around a certain design and points it out before I notice it as more than just a really nice thing to wear. Even though I would like to explore making work that is deliberate in expressing my deeper connection to and interest in what I would describe as the divine feminine archetype, my work of late has been jewelry that’s purely for fun and fashion and affordability. That has been both from necessity and desire to work with new materials (rubber). The outcome is a body of work that could be described as “urban tribal,” which I guess, does, in its own way reflect a modern feminine (and masculine) archetype idea.

EarthtonesPinCC: Making a living from fulltime creativity obviously adds a huge amount of pressure to your creative life. Do you love what you do, even though it’s your “job”?
TI: That’s a great question to ask me right at this moment because I have now been studio-less for two weeks and my business is essentially shut down until I find a place to set up again. I am at once relieved to not be under so much pressure but also missing my time at the bench, which I have not had for a few months because of all that it took to move.

So the short answer is YES, I love what I do and having a job based in creativity is essential to my well-being but the stress of running a business has stunted my creative growth and motivation. I am now searching for a better way to make a living as I restructure my life; work and home. It may mean working for someone else for awhile or getting a job at a company as a designer but that will likely be temporary because what I do is who I am…an artist and my purpose in this life is clearly to create and express through artistic mediums.

Singing and dancing feed my need for self-expression as well as making jewelry. They are the other great talents I was born with.

CC: What prompted you to start a blog? What keeps you going?
TI: My blog is a new addition to my web 2.0 networking efforts! I resisted for a long while as journal writing in general has always been an uphill challenge for me—but I have found blog writing surprisingly rewarding and easy. The most difficult part is making time to do it. My motivation is definitely rooted in “business marketing and branding” but my approach has been to be real and honest about who I am and what is happening in my life. This helps ME to be clear about my goals and identity. It also draws in would-be customers because they have a “story” about me, the artist. That is SO important in marketing handmade art.

Thea@bench2CC: You’re in the process of moving right now, but tell us about your studio in SF. What will you be looking for in your new creative space?
TI: As I write this I am in the process of searching for a studio space. While without one I am deeply appreciating the one that I had and realize how much it feeds my identity. No surprisingly because it represents MY space. No part of my living space now or in CA belongs anymore to just me. It is all shared with my sweet 2.5-year-old roommate!

What I am looking for as I search is as much space and light as possible. I like an uncluttered environment as well. I would like to be in a building with other working artists as this is something I was missing in my last situation. I like working alone but that can easily turn in to isolation if there are no opportunities for socializing. I think having other artists around would especially good for me being a “newbie” in town.

CC: Now that you’re shifting your work life, will you still maintain a schedule for your creative work?
TI: In short, yes. I did not plan it as scheduled creative time but I took advantage of the spring season of classes starting at RISD and signed up for Adobe Illustrator to improve my computer-aided jewelry design skills. Now I HAVE to schedule time for the homework which I am finding to be very satisfying creative work. It also seems that the prospect of making income from creating my own jewelry is still BETTER than that of getting a “job” so as soon as I find the studio…creative work begins again. Will I be able to schedule it? Maybe not but the Universe’s plan for me clearly includes being creative no matter what else I try to plan.

Rubber O- RingsCC: How has motherhood changed you creatively?
TI: Hmm. Not sure, at first thought. I think more about what I could design or create for children. My son particularly likes my new rubber jewelry with magnetic clasps. He has showed me how well the entire collection looks attached to the refrigerator. I guess I think creatively in terms of what is FUN.

CC: From my own experience, being a single parent can sometimes magnify the challenges of being a creative mother. What are your challenges in being a single mother as well as an artist? What are the advantages?
TI: Challenges: Sigh. The selfish part of that answer is that I have almost no time left for myself right now. That’s why this has taken so long to get to you, M! It’s been stuck at the bottom of the priority list. I pulled it up this morning out of sheer frustration that NOTHING on the to-do list today looked any fun at all.

One HUGE and direct example of my daily challenges right now is that I am, as a single mother with no child support, eligible for financial assistance from the fed/state government for child care, health care, and more but as a self-employed person I must prove my income (or lack thereof) and work schedule in several different formats which is exhausting and time consuming. I then have to reprove it 2-4 times a year depending on the program. Some of the vital documents I need are in a box on a truck due to arrive in weeks. Sigh again.

CIMG5815Advantages: Let me get back to you in a few years on that. Hopefully my son will learn that it is possible to be successful doing something he loves. Hopefully he will see me being HAPPY doing something I love. I think he gets that dancing pretty much makes me ecstatic and that I love to sing and that I make some cool stuff you can wrap around your wrist or put over your head but I don’t know yet how he integrates that information.

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
TI: Architecture, patterns, flowers, electronic music, and mostly by playing and experimenting with existing “parts” on my bench.

CC: The West Coast seems to place a lot of emphasis on the mind-body connection. What are your own feelings about how physicality influences creativity?
TI: I 100% agree with the mind-body connection theory. I am most alive, free, and pregnant with ideas and the most aware of my intuition when I am regularly dancing and moving my body.

CC: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?
TI: Oy. I really just started the public blog thing. I don’t know too many but so far I enjoy reading Lydia Kirtchthurn’s blog Lydia Oh Lydia.

CC: What is your greatest indulgence?
TI: Hot springs… natural outdoor CALIFORNIA hot springs. I am going to cry now. Well, hand me a fresh warm croissant and I’ll be OK.

CC: What are you reading right now?
TI: Ha ha ha! Read? We are currently reading anything by Eric Carle. I would LIKE TO BE reading Michael Pollan, Eckhart Tolle and more….mostly non-fiction subjects on human potential and our evolution to a new paradigm.

IMG_2615CC: What advice would you offer to other mothers struggling to find the time and means to be more creative?
TI: Don’t give up on being a creative person. Listen to your intuition not what other people have to say about what you “should” be doing now that you are a mother. If nothing else there is always time to DANCE and BREATHE! The rest will follow.

CC: Thank you, Thea! Please give us an update when you find a moment!

Jun 12

4 Comments

Mothering Magazine: Crafty Mamas

Thanks to my friend Jane for pointing out the cover article “Five Crafty Mamas” in the May-June 2009 issue of Mothering Magazine. The article was written by Jean Van’t Hul, featured on this blog in a previous Breakfast interview. In the article, Jean features five creative mothers you may already be familiar with:

Read more online, or pick up the magazine for hands-on enjoyment.

Jane, bored with the children’s clothing she finds in stores, was inspired to make a dress for her young daughter for the first time. Go, Jane!

May 22

Open House: Seven Sisters

Seven sisters in a symphony of creative blogs to sit and sip your coffee by….

  1. Kate Hopper shares wise words from a reading event, even though she was sick as a dog and shouldn’t have gone.
  2. Liz Hum considers how unfair parenting can be from one child to the next and why.
  3. Jennifer Johnson shares the loveliest love poem to her husband, on their anniversary.
  4. Bethany Hiitola shares a delightful craft gift to give to friends.
  5. Mary Duquette’s faith in human nature is restored.
  6. Carmen Torbus waxes poetic over zucchini gardening and gets soupily creative.
  7. Karen Winters posts a painting experience including a shot of her on site at the easel, the yellows and greens of the painting smack dab in the scene itself.

Have a wonderful long weekend!

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