The Artist at Work: Do You Welcome the Family, or Bar the Door?
I enjoy starting my daily morning writing practice by reading a page in Fred White’s daybook The Daily Writer: 366 Meditations to Cultivate a Productive and Meaningful Writing Life. Today’s entry was particularly relevant to our scope here at Studio Mothers, whatever your medium. Here’s the excerpt:
August 30: Dealing with Family Interference
Writers mostly work at home, and that can pose a problem, especially if the writer has children. To ensure against quarrels or having the kids or the spouse feel neglected, the writer in the family needs to negotiate (not mandate like some dictator) ground rules. Another approach is to open your study to the kids. Introduce them to your work, explain your project to them in ways they’ll both understand and appreciate. You might even invite them to hang around and watch you working (about as unexciting as can be imagined for most children); it makes them feel more a part of you and gain more of an internal understanding of why you need to work uninterrupted. The opposite approach, making your study off limits, giving it the impression of being The Forbidden Zone, might prove just as effective superficially, but doesn’t do much to foster family togetherness.
Perhaps the best way to handle family interference is to let them interfere in the sense of making them feel welcome in your inner sanctum. There’s a memorable photograph of JFK at work in the Oval Office with four-year-old John-John frolicking at his feet. Children can better intuit how best to behave around a working parent once they feel that they’re included rather than excluded.
How about you? Do you include your children and/or your spouse in your creative work? What’s best for you and your family?
You’re striking a chord as I throw in the towel for the night because my fifteen-year-old wants to chat about her homecoming plans and my infant wants his bedtime nursing session. Despite my brood of five, I need uninterrupted silence to write. UNINTERRUPTED. This means the wireless-equipped coffee shop and an iphone full of white noise are a must. Now my crocheting, my mosaic making, my collaging–those are a different story. When I’m engrossed in those, bring on the kiddies!