Robin: The Way I Give Birth Now
The running joke in military families is that you can predict the ages of the children in a deployed family by knowing the dates of scheduled homecomings and R&R (meaning during the time the couple is being “reacquainted” the chances are higher that a baby is conceived!). While my husband and I do enjoy these “catching up” segments, conceiving more children is definitely NOT ON THE AGENDA. With my body fast approaching 42 and Mike having already crossed that threshold, we are content to have biologically produced one little princess together who just turned 4.
As I was working on a mosaic project this morning and gazing over at the potential of a piece of plywood I have sitting on my dining room table, the thought occurred to me: this is how I give birth now. The excitement of a new idea, the purchasing of the materials I need in preparation for the new arrival, fantasizing about what form it will ultimately take once I begin to apply my hands to the materials. Even that certain point where the creation begins to move in another direction than I had anticipated and my response to such change reminds me of raising and then releasing a child (my oldest is now 21).
And then, at least with mosaics, as you begin to dust off the excess grout and the beauty comes through after the piece goes through its own version of the birthing canal, the creation sits before you. You feel protective and defensive about her. You almost could not bear to part with her.
Honestly, if I were younger perhaps I would be willing to entertain conceiving another baby with my guy. Realistically, we choose to remain content to raise the one we have. So I have a studio instead. I find this birthing process to be FAR LESS painful (sometimes).