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Posts tagged ‘goals’

Sep 16

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Kelly: A Girl’s Gotta Dream…

Cross-posted from my personal blog…

journal 5a

Catching my breath quite a bit here lately so I haven’t had much happening on the art front. Here’s another spread from my art journal I’ve been working on. I’ve actually even started writing in it now!!! I was in Tampa Friday and Saturday facilitating some leadership programs and came home with a nasty cold virus. Slept pretty much all day Sunday and most of the day Monday. I guess I needed some rest! Made it back into work today but still feeling way under par. When I got back in town Saturday afternoon, I picked the girls up over at the football party DH and they were attending and told DH I needed to work on simplifying my life. He quickly agreed! Trick is, how do you do that?

Over dinner one night last week, we were talking about work stuff and he asked me where I saw myself in 10 years.  I had to respond, “Like, for real or for dreaming?” Pretty telling question, huh? Where the realist in me sees me is vastly different from where the dreamer in me sees me. I’m working on coming to terms with the fact that turning your dreams into reality is one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face….when you add in paying the mortgage; raising wonderful, caring, thoughtful children; saving for their college education; planning for retirement….all that real life stuff, the choices are hard! That’s where the simplification of life to make it all work towards that dream meets the challenges of real life! Does that make sense? For example, I have nearly 17 years in with the state of Florida retirement system. Just for giggles, I checked out the retirement calculator recently. I looked at what the state would send me per month starting at age 62 if I were to retire tomorrow. Then I looked at what the state would send me per month starting at age 62 if I worked 13 more years to earn my full 30. Boy was that a shock of realism! The stick it out for 13 more years figure was more than 30 times that of the retire tomorrow figure.

journal 5b

So, how do I answer that “Where do you see yourself in 10 years” question then? Realistically, still working for the college, preferably by that point in a somewhat lower-paying, but much more free-time friendly faculty position.  In the short run, I’m still working towards a new step up position (first interview next week!). Now the dreamer, the dreamer in me sees myself and the family in a much different position…closer to that Purple Cottage I told you about. My Purple Cottage post generated quite a bit of discussion and some great ideas surfaced, an expansion of the purple cottage so to speak. That’s the dream I’m keeping stoked (so maybe it’ll be for 13 years instead of 10..what’s three years in the big scheme of things?). There’s a piece of property I’ve been familiar with since I was in college….and it hasn’t changed since I was in college. The location shall remain right here in my little brain. 🙂  It’s on the coast and has ten little concrete bungalows on it. Those cottages could easily been renovated…a few of them for lodging, a few of them for art studios, one of them for a kids’ playroom, one of them for a kitchen and dining area. You catchin’ what I’m layin’ down here? Sounding anything like that Mothers’ Studio Miranda tossed out there? Of course, this would involve selling our house and moving to a small town, but we plan to do that in the next ten years anyways. I’ve been keeping my eye on that property. Next time I’m over in that area, I’m gonna do me a little research… A girl’s gotta dream, right?

Mar 16

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Why setting goals can backfire

From Sunday’s Boston Globe, “Ready, aim…fire” by Drake Bennett, an examination of the downsides of goal-setting. Within a historical framework, the author points out that while goals often work, sometimes “success” involves a few unpleasant side-effects.

While Bennett focuses primarily on the corporate landscape, we can transfer his points to a creatively relevant scenario. For example, let’s say your goal is to complete three canvases this week. You manage to complete those three canvases, but you weren’t able to enjoy the process because you were so focused on completing them — and in the end, you weren’t happy with the work you did, because you cut corners to just get finished. You met your goal, but you can’t sell the paintings for as much as you’d like because they aren’t that great. In this scenario, you met your stated goal — but what did you really accomplish?

Two excerpts from the article:

It is a given in American life that goals are inseparable from accomplishment. President Kennedy’s 1961 promise to put an American on the moon by the end of the decade is held up as an example of a world-changing goal, the kind of inspirational beacon needed to surmount immense societal challenges. Among psychologists, the link between setting goals and achievement is one of the clearest there is, with studies on everyone from woodworkers to CEOs showing that we concentrate better, work longer, and do more if we set specific, measurable goals for ourselves.

Today, as the economic situation upends millions of lives, it is also forcing the reexamination of millions of goals — not only the revenue targets of battered firms, but the career aims of workers and students, and even the ambitions of the newly installed administration. And while it never feels good to give up on a goal, it may be a good time to ask which of the goals we had set for ourselves were things we really needed to achieve, and which were things we only thought we should — and what the difference has been costing us.

You can read the full article here.

What do you think of this premise — perhaps in light of the February Finish-a-thon experience for those who participated?

Perhaps shorter-term goals are better; more achievable and more inherently flexible. What about having a group goal of the most basic currency and commitment: spend on hour this week being creative. Is that too little to be of value? Does it still become the trap that Bennett describes?

I do like the idea that goals (and priorities) need to be reassessed from time to time. There’s nothing worse than waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been busting your a** for something you don’t really care about anymore.

Clearly, we need to make sure that our goals are really serving our larger intention, whatever that is.

Feb 24

9 Comments

Cathy: Stopping the analysis

The February Finish-a-thon has been a great tool for all of us to realize where we fit in setting ourselves deadlines, what project we’re working on, how far we have to go, and whether can we finish it in a certain time frame.

For me, it turned my otherwise small penchant for analysis of why I’m not writing as much as I set out to into a life’s purpose in a public forum. I spent more energy on thinking about not writing than I spent on writing my manuscript. In the meantime, and it took 21 days of this, to realize that I was actually keeping the same pace I had been keeping on the manuscript since I re-opened it last spring: exactly the same pace. The six weeks around the holidays were taken up with the holidays and everyone in the house being very ill in long phases, including me. Otherwise, I have written a small burst of between three to six pages on one day per week, while Baby C naps in the morning, since the beginning. Those naps are rare these days.

There are reasons for this, not excuses. I am incredibly sleep deprived, and can barely function on normal household stuff, let alone have a clear thought for continuity in a novel. I am now on the older baby chase besides her usual kicking keyboard cuteness. She motors everywhere and I follow. We don’t have baby gates up or cabinet locks on, etc. I am all for letting her learn her world. The rest of the world doesn’t have baby gates, why should I here, except it would make my life easier in getting basics done. I am vigilant, and how will she learn to cope on her own, if she doesn’t understand how to get around safely. She needs to learn the stairs, so we teach her, when she wants. She wants to now, so there I am, following the climber up, and keeping her from repelling to her doom. I hold her hand while she scoots down on her butt. We do this over and over, and she laughs and learns a little more each time. The dog and cat enjoy it, too. We’re having a blast.

In the meantime, the little nagging voice in the back of my head tells me I’m making excuses to go fly kites, tend the baby, and bake cookies to avoid the writing. Once, it was a huge voice in the front of my head that told me who the hell do I think I am to write? Who wants to hear what I have to say? The voice shrinks and fades into the background, because, yes I am almost done with this novel. Now it’s just the voice that still wants a voice as I gain my own. During Feb-Fin, I let it out and let it inhale deeply in order to spout through my all my public analysis of not writing. Well, it’s time to show that voice the back door. I won’t give it anymore fanfare.

I will escort it back to where it belongs, as the distant echo in the back of my head. I will get on with writing, my little bit as I can. I will tend the baby, bake cookies, and fly kites. I will enjoy my kids, my husband and dare I say, the housework. I will do so without the dread that the time I am doing something else, or better yet, nothing at all, is time not writing. If my ideas percolate away from the keyboard, so be it. They will form better in the single two to three hours I really have to hobble all those ideas together.

As for the writing itself, I have blogged before that I can’t set a schedule for it. That’s just an axe at the throat of my writing. I can set a maybe schedule, but have to be realistic that if I “set aside” three mornings a week, really only one will serve for the possibility. John Updike may have written six days a week, but that’s just not how my muse works. Mine sprints and recoups. She’s always been like that to an extent. She’s never been a marathoner. Since motherhood, it’s her modus operandi. Regardless of my whining online about not writing, I really have been pretty good about recognizing this pace and letting the writing happen in its own time, and Baby C’s.

Jan 8

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Kelly: Finding Time for Balance

cps1So I’ve been thinking more about this whole New Year’s Resolution thing, and I’ve come down to one thing: balance. That’s my word for the year. I must find balance. I must find a way to balance time with my family, with time to expand my creative endeavors, with time to work, with time to exercise, with time to eat right, with time to somewhere in there find and keep my sanity (and as DH just reminded me, time to finish repainting every room in the house). Though if we won the lottery, I could get rid of the “time to work” need and then have more time for the others! There’s a thought, however fleeting, since I rarely have time to even remember to buy a lottery ticket.

This picture truly nails my issue when it comes to the creative endeavors part of the challenge. My two favorite art magazines are Cloth Paper Scissors and Somerset Studio. When I first stumbled across Cloth Paper Scissors, I loved it so much I had to go online and order all the back issues. I’ve been methodically reading through them at night before I go to bed (unless I’m too absorbed in whatever book I happen to be reading…which is another thing I must squeeze in time for). See all those little sticky notes peeking out of all these Cloth Paper Scissors issues? Well those are all the projects I’d like to play around with. And this is just in CPS. I have a similar stack for Somerset Studio. I haven’t really shared much of my mixed-media playing around on my blog but I’ll start doing that more this year, too. Sharing. And while I’m at it, I’ll also be sharing more photographs as I already mentioned here. My blogging friend Karen Faulkner suggested a great resolution would be to capture at least one beautiful photo a day. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to find time for that? And that involves remembering to find the time to always keep a camera with me, perhaps attached to my hip, with a hot pink cord for a dash of color.

So there you have it. In a recent comment on Cathy’s Promises, Promises post, Kathryn said she calls them “Dreams, Hopes, Wishes, and Aspirations.” I like that much better than resolution, don’t you? So my official Dream, Hope, Wish and Aspiration for 2009 is to find balance (and find time to call my sister once a week). Care to join me?

Jan 8

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Cathy: Double Whammy

Original art by SBM

Original art by SBM

Everyone is thinking resolutions, new beginnings, new projects, etc at this time of year. On news programs and morning shows, they obsess about it for weeks leading to and long after the big ball drop in Times Square. Everywhere you turn, a neighbor, the grocery clerk, your mechanic, discusses options and fall offs for this and all prior New Year’s. I have the extra special honor of having my birthday in the same week, so I get a double whammy.

I’m putting all this resolution stuff to bed. This weekend I heard an interesting take on viewing birthdays as a new beginning and a turning point for putting hope into action, optimism into more than just dreams. Rather than just the pointing out: yes I survived another one. Oh boy, yep! I reached 43 big ones! With a new baby here, still can’t believe how I pulled that one off, but I have another still gestating — my manuscript.

I admit, in this past crazy holiday time, including up to two weeks prior, with all in the house sick in various states, myself included, I mostly mulled the manuscript in the back – or fore — of my mind. Not much writing got done while coughing, snuffling, caring for coughing and snuffling, prepping for all three holidays, guests, travelling, and so on. Nevermind the two solid weeks of Winter Break! In my own schooling or in my years working in public schools have I ever had a two solid weeks’ worth of vacation. Finally I’m beginning to feel like life might settle back down.

Honey baked the cake. Yum!

Honey baked the cake. Yum!

And then rolls up my birthday, like a big old tail finned red Cadillac. That’s right, my birthday is an American model. I don’t think we have many of my particular vintage Japanese models floating around here. I’m certainly not a compact model anymore, either, though I was often noted for being so until recently.

Anyway, I felt really creaky and crummy yesterday, and my dear dh who is a bit of a grumbler himself, managed to take something I said personally, though that wasn’t where I was going. We have this particular communication defect pretty often, it goes both ways. Well, this time, as crummy as I felt, I said, after I wrote an inflammatory note, blew up, cried, and bemoaned, that I do not want to live this way anymore. I will not try to be the solitary cheerleader in the family of grumblers. I will do my best not to grumble myself. And if anyone around here grumbles, I’m throwing a sock at their head.

My main really good Life Philosophy is that while it may be hard, it may be challenging, at some times more so than others, the bottom line on Life is that it is Good. Life is an Adventure. Life is Beautiful, Everywhere, All Around Us, Everyday. This year in particular, after a couple of rough crabby ones, with some pretty incredible joys, I am going to return to living mine as such — especially in writing. But I’m also going to buy that camping equipment before summer, and get these kids out into the world and Mother Nature. Get out and stare up at the stars while the campfire burns, smoke and pollen in our eyes, up our noses, and bugs, too.

Isn’t that, right there, whether you’re a writer, artist, or accountant, what life is all about? No computers, no TV, no handheld video games. It’s you, your family, the night and stars, and by day fishing, even if you catch a dagblasted empty hook, or just walking along a beachy, or woodsy trail. Then I’m going off-path. Not that I was ever one much for staying on it. Especially looking back at all the above mixed metaphors and winding tangents just since the first paragraph here.

Jan 6

20 Comments

Kristine: A Question of Identity

A few months ago, I found an old high school friend online, someone I haven’t seen or talked to since the summer after we graduated. To be honest, I never thought I’d connect with this person again, but the power of the Internet proved me wrong. It was a weird encounter and one that sort of sparked an identity crisis within me.

My friend had endured physical hardships but came through those hardships with amazing strength, accomplishing things that literally took my breath away. When I was asked what I’d done since high school, everything I said paled in comparison.

Not that I haven’t accomplished a lot. I have a college degree. I’ve done well in my field and professional life. I have a great husband and beautiful daughter. I live in a comfortable home. On most days, I’m extremely happy with my life.

So why did I freeze when the subject of my writing came up?

To say that I was “still working” on becoming a novelist after almost 17 years sounded…well, amateurish. When I thought about reconnecting with my high school friends, especially this one in particular, I dreamed about being able to proclaim that I’d achieved my goal and was a published novelist. But I couldn’t say that, and it made me feel like I’d failed in the one thing I was so passionate about all during high school.

Talking to my old friend was motivating in a strange way. The conversation pushed me to work even harder to finish my novel and jumpstart my career. If my friend could overcome enormous odds and accomplish so much, there were no more excuses for me.

Turns out my “kick in the pants” came from a “blast from the past.”

Dec 30

7 Comments

New Year’s resolutions?

landscapeNew Year’s Eve is a wonderful excuse for taking stock in where you’re at. What were the highlights of the past year? The challenges? Have you redefined yourself in small ways — or big ones? Where do you want to go in 2009? Are there a few things on your “someday” list that you could turn into reality in the near future?

I like to come up with a list of goals for the new year. Some are measurable (train for — and run in — a half marathon in June; lose ten pounds; finish my book) and others are more nebulous (keep working toward living in the moment and letting go of stress). I haven’t completed my list yet — I’ll save that for Thursday evening. But I’m thinking things through.

Here are a few interesting ideas, if you’re working on your own resolutions.

Resolutions for writers
Resolutions for artists
Resolutions for photographers
Resolutions for quilters
Resolutions for bloggers
Resolutions for mothers

You might also want to consider creating a vision board that illustrates your goals — or mindsets — for the coming year. Having a graphic representation in view might be just the thing to keep you focused as the weeks progress.

And if, like me, you’re working toward enjoying the present moment more, here’s a lovely blog post from Anna Johnson about bathtime as meditation.

How about you?

Nov 6

13 Comments

Miranda: “Someday” is today

someday_sky1I can’t remember where I picked it up, but at some point last week I heard the old reminder “‘Someday’ is today.” Those three words have been repeating in my head ever since.

When you aspire to living in the moment, it’s easy to forget about all those things you want to do “someday.” The only things that belong on a “someday” list, however, are things that you might be interested in but won’t regret if you never get to them: like taking a Thai cooking class or getting dreadlocks. If the prospect of not doing something on that list is upsetting, then it doesn’t belong on a “someday” list. It should move onto a real agenda. Because really, someday is today — and if dreadlocks really speak to who you are, then you need to figure out how to make that happen now, rather than leaving it to fantasy.

While I continually make progress incorporating creativity into my life — an erratic but upward stagger — I realize there are things on my “someday” list that I really could — and should (“should” because it would make me happy) — be doing right now.

For example, I’d like to have an art space in my basement. I have a huge, unfinished basement that is dry and not too unpleasant. There isn’t a lot of stuff down there because we moved many things into storage when we put our house on the market. We have a playroom of sorts in one area of the basement. Why not cobble together a studio so that I can do art projects whenever I like, without taking over the kitchen table or the dining room? A place where I can leave projects mid-progress, without having to clean everything up after every creative stint? I could put something together with little or no cost. Sure, I’m trying to sell my house, but so what? I don’t think that an informal studio area, even if it does get a little cluttered, is going to bother prospective buyers. (And the whole house selling thing is a “someday” trap if ever there was one.)

I also realized that I have another category of “someday” items that I never intended to put off; they’ve been relegated to the “someday” list by accident. These are things that I think I’m going to do “tomorrow,” but then tomorrow never comes. Every week I seem to repeat the same thing: “Well, THIS week is really busy because of X. Next week will be better, and then I’ll be able to do Y.” But then the next week I’m all “Well, THIS week is really busy because of Q. Next week…” And so on. Of course, this mythical week of relative calm and predictable schedule never arrives — and so I eternally put off whatever it was that I wanted to do. It’s a slow kind of death by the best of intentions. Who am I kidding? You’d think I’d have figured it out by now. I have five children and a freelance career. Obviously, relative calm and a predictable schedule are not high on the list of likely outcomes. Some weeks will be better than others; some weeks will be busier than others; but really, the bandwidth is not going to change that drastically.

Here are two examples of things that I intend to get to, but never incorporate as reliable habits:

  1. I’d like to spend less time on the computer (specifically time wasted on the computer). I always feel better when I put my laptop away for a day. And the kids love it too. Anyone who really needs to reach me urgently has my cell phone number. Even if I don’t go fully unplugged, I know I’m better off having set computer times — a few brief stints at specific intervals. Aside from my two full workdays (when I’m glued to my laptop nonstop) there is no reason that I can’t adopt a more reasonable computer routine. Making this happen today instead of later means spending more time focused on the kids, now, when they need me, which is another “someday” item of its own. Do I want to wait until ALL the children head off to college and I realize that I missed my chance to spend more time with them — and that the false promise of “someday” has actually evaporated?
  2. I’d like to get back on top of dinnertime. I usually cook something vaguely nutritious at least four or five times a week, but lately it always seems like my oldest one has just returned from work (at a coffee shop) and isn’t hungry or I cooked something that the ninth-grade son doesn’t like or I timed things badly and my stuffed squash isn’t actually ready until 8:00 p.m. — which is bedtime for the pre-schooler. (Tonight’s scenario, for example.) I want to increase my repertoire of yummy “regular” meals (the most recent set is getting tired) and add a little more ceremony — and creativity — to dinnertime.

Those are my “someday” items for the moment. I can’t say that “work on my book” is on my “someday” list, because I AM actually writing with some vague regularity right now. I’m even running, although not more than 2-3 times a week — but running nonetheless. So there are two perennial “someday” items that I am actually doing.

How about you? What’s on your “someday” list that you really should and could start doing right now? And what “someday” items have you actually moved into the “now” column?

Oct 20

16 Comments

Miranda: A question

If you were to drop dead right now, this very minute, and you had a moment of last consciousness to weigh your life in the balance, what would the verdict be? Would you feel that you had lived your life to the fullest; that you had accomplished something important, whatever that means to you?

I admit to an unhealthy fixation on mortality. I think about this kind of thing a lot.  The topic came up recently with my cousin Charlotte (OK, so we covered almost everything in the domain of life and art within a few hours). Charlotte noted that I had just referred to death and dying about 30 times within 20 minutes. I’m not usually quite that bad, but I am frequently troubled by my fear of dying before I’ve completed a few important things on my list.

Charlotte was surprised to hear that I don’t think of my five children as “accomplishments.” But I don’t. They are really just these random people who I’m taking care of. I don’t take credit for having “good” kids — so much luck is involved; really I just try not to mess them up too much. Yes, being a mother, a good mother, is important to me, but it isn’t my life’s work. Sometimes I wish it were. Things would be a lot simpler. But while I try to apply creativity to motherhood as much as possible, my children do not feel like my “creations.”

When it comes to assessing life on a macro level, blogs like 37 Days only feed my obsessive nature. While the question “how would I spend my last month of life” is an important one, such a short timespan by necessity requires letting go of everything unimportant, immediately. For me, if I only had a month left to live, I would be entirely focused on my family and creating as many memories as possible — and creating reminders of my love for my children that would live beyond me. Would I worry about finishing my book? Probably not, although I think I would hand the project off to a trusted friend and ask her to finish it for me. I would probably write a good number of poems instead.

But since none of us can know exactly how much time we have left, we can only muddle through, trying to keep our perspective on what’s really important. While I might not work on my book if I only had a month left to live, I would work on the book if I knew had a year.

I hope that whenever the Big Mac Truck comes my way, I can go without regret. Of course there would be immeasurable sadness for leaving my family — but I would hope that I would be comforted by the feeling that I had done my best with the time that I had. That my children could rest contented in the knowledge that I loved them deeply. And that I had left something else behind — a book, perhaps? — that could touch the lives of strangers and help them make the most of their lives.

Maybe in our very last moments the only thing that matters is our relationships, and everything else becomes irrelevant. I wonder. How about you? What is the measure of a life well lived, and where does your creative mark fit into that assessment?

Oct 16

17 Comments

Miranda: Getting my #%^&* together

It’s been a long time since I last posted a personal entry. Regular readers of this blog will know that I spent the last two months under an intense pile of client projects and had little bandwidth to do anything else. I have finally — and gratefully — emerged from under the mountain. I should now be able to get all of my work done on my two full workdays each week plus an hour or two of client e-mail and quick projects on the other three weekdays.

It’s time to take a little inventory and get back to my two main priorities: family life and finishing my nonfiction book.

The Current Condition

What’s my current landscape? We’ve settled into some kind of new routine and I’ve adapted to my preschooler’s pickup schedule. I have to leave every day at 11:30 to get him — but my husband takes him to school, so I don’t have to do both legs. The pickup takes 45 minutes in total, which does eat into my two workdays. But I try to use some of that car time for phone calls.

All five kids are in good places at the moment; no real issues or crises. That said, the 5-month-old doesn’t yet sleep more than three or four hours at a stretch during the night, which obviously means that I’m a little tired, but I’m usually able to just deal with it. I do have to pay some attention to my oldest son’s college application process and all that that involves. Toilet training with the 3.5-year-old is not going well at all (in fact we’ve regressed) but my husband and I are launching a new strategy this weekend (putting him back in underwear and then totally laying off the pressure, rather than keeping him in pull-ups and laying on the pressure), which we’ll commit to for a month. But nothing is going on beyond the usual parenting agenda. In fact, the household is in a pretty happy place right now. My husband and I are in a great place and we’ve had a nice long run without blended family conflict. In fact, there have been some very positive developments on the domestic front.

I’m also trying to up my fitness level — running at least twice a week and hoping to get back to my 4-6 mile runs three to four times a week before too long. I’m making progress. Yesterday I had a terrific run and really felt strong the whole time.

Our house is still on the market, but showings are infrequent and I’m able to keep my perspective. I no longer agonize over what will happen if we stay and how much I want to move; things are workable where we are and I will just make the best of it. At some point I realized that I have to get on with it and not wait for the house issue to be resolved; in this economy it could easily take us another year or longer to sell.

The only other significant time drain at the moment is the election. We’re an avidly political family and I  have to get my evening fix of political shows on cable. I often multitask with the laptop during this time, but I do look forward to enjoying other schedule options post-election.

So, not much to complain about. Guess I’ll have to rely on Cathy’s 24 ways to avoid your manuscript if I need an excuse to procrastinate. But of course, I don’t need any more excuses. It’s time to finish the book and get on with my stew pot of other creative projects.

The Plan

My nonfiction proposal is being shopped by an agent, but as I’ve said here before, if we have no takers I will self-publish. I can’t let the manuscript languish while waiting to sell it. If I end up selling the thing when it’s already near completion, and the editor wants to make substantive changes (as would be expected with a nonfiction ms), I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Time to commit to the work with a concrete roadmap.

On Monday I made some calculations. My manuscript is currently 53K words long. I estimate that I need another 40K-50K to finish. Seeing as I’m working from a fairly comprehensive outline, the writing comes quickly when I’m actually writing (or, I should say, quickly for me — compared to writing fiction). I can probably count on writing 1,000 words in four hours. I’ll round that up to five hours just to have some margin for the remaining research, etc. Now comes the sticky part.

If I spend five hours a week on my book, I will finish the first draft in a year. If I double that and eke out 2,000 words a week, I will finish by the end of April. That’s a little more appetizing, wouldn’t you say?

Where am I going to get 10 hours a week? At first glance it’s hard to see, but I know it’s really a matter of priorities. How is it that I can be so committed to keeping this blog going, for example, but not show the same level of commitment with my manuscript? Since we started the weekly creativity contest, I’ve never missed posting the Wednesday winner post, even though it sometimes takes well more than an hour of work the night prior or early that morning. Tomorrow I will post our 20th Breakfast interview — a weekly project that sometimes takes three hours of work or more. But I would never miss that deadline, even if I’m up until well past midnight staging the post.

As my cousin Charlotte rightly pointed out over coffee on Tuesday, the blog involves a lot of other people, and I hold myself accountable. That’s why I am able to stay up late at night preparing a post when it wouldn’t occur to me to spend those same hours on my manuscript. True, I can also rationalize the time investment with the knowledge that the content of this blog as well as the creative social network it provides are both intrinsic parts of my book. I have no intention of cutting back on the blog, but I need to keep my eyes on the real goal: finishing my book.

While 5 hours a week seems do-able, the year-off finish line is a real party killer. A 6-month timeframe is much cheerier, but I don’t know if I’m going to have 10 hours for writing every week. I spent some time going back and forth, trying to decide which way I should commit. Charlotte suggested starting with the 5 hours for a few weeks to see how it goes, which was a practical suggestion, but seemed to rub my Superwoman instincts the wrong way (yes, I should know better). But I agreed with Charlotte in that I didn’t want to set myself up for failure by setting the bar to high.

It occurred to me that my son’s Montessori school has a schedule arrangement that I really like. Instead of having a straight pickup time (say, noon) we have a pickup window: 11:45 to noon. I have 15 minutes within which I can arrive and not be late. Every day, I appreciate that I can vary my arrival time within those 15 minutes and still be right on time. Why not apply the same forgiving structure to my ms goal? This “range” makes sense to me and allows me some wiggle room within a demanding and unpredictable schedule.

So, I have now committed to writing 5 to 10 hours every week. If I only manage 5, I have still succeeded. If I make it to 10 or more, I am simply moving that much more quickly toward my goal. I will be tracking time and wordcount to monitor my progress; adjustments will be made as needed. Each Sunday I will map out where those hours are going to come from, and add them to my Outlook calendar as I would any other appointment.

There it is. I have a plan, and I’m sticking to it. Gotta go — I have 2 hours of manuscript time to complete today. 🙂

Sep 30

11 Comments

Charlotte: Introducing myself

Having said a while ago that it seemed to be the polite thing to do to introduce myself properly, by the time I figure out how to do a blog post AND think of something pithy and beautifully composed to do the job, I will probably have spent months clogging up the Monday page with “comments.” So I’m asking Miranda if she could put this up for me, in case any of you might have wondered who this stranger amongst you with a blue patchwork face might be. (I rather like my piece of patchwork.)

I’m Miranda’s cousin, living in London; we’re about the same age and have never actually met, but are going to soon, because (re)discovering this blog and marvelling at how disciplined you all manage to be in making (and using) time for your own creativity while also managing households and children has finally spurred me into action. I’ve set aside a few weeks to come over to the States for a “writing retreat,” which Miranda’s mother has generously agreed to provide and police! I’m hoping this will result in something a bit more concrete than just a few pages of scribbles, though right now it feels as if it would be a step forward just to get into the habit of having a sensible timetable and writing a little every day. I need to create a pattern that I can continue back home. This is often hard for me for reasons that are not child-related, more to do with having to do a lot of work of different kinds at very erratic times.

Like most of you, I’m also a freelance juggler. “Journalist, editor, translator, actress, writer” covers most of it, I think. That’s what it says on my tax return, anyway, or does when they manage to fit it all in the box. The journalist bit means I am often working odd days and odd times — sometimes nights, sometimes very early mornings, and always very long shifts. The actress bit is fun, but in practical terms means that I might, like this summer, be away on tour for months, constantly on the road and exhausted. It also should mean that I focus on trying to get work when I am not working — or indeed when I am — which is much harder work than the working itself. I quite like translation in small quantities, and I only really translate interesting articles and stories, so that’s nice — but not really very creative (yes, yes, I know — but it’s not the same as I don’t do the actual writing). Editing (there is too much of this) drives me crazy, but it’s regular and pays the bills, and I get to take it with me wherever I need to be — which is good, but means it tends to pull my focus away from the more creative stuff, like acting — and writing.

Writing has always come last, because it’s something I want to do for myself rather than something I have to do for someone else or to pay the bills; and also because it’s something that, like most things that are really worthwhile, doesn’t come easy. I used to write constantly when I was young; I’d written two novellas by the time I was 14. Then at some point I stopped completely — probably around the time I started studying literature and literary criticism, and learned to express myself on stage instead. I forgot that I had ever been a writer until someone asked me about my writing, about 20 years ago now — and I found that, while I could still craft pretty paragraphs, I couldn’t finish anything. I felt — feel — that I have both nothing and too much to say.

However, in the past 3 years I’ve written two books for children (age range 10-13) for the series I also edit. They’re bilingual English-German (narrative in German, dialogue in English). I’m fluent in German, but I’m not bilingual. I found writing in it incredibly liberating, as was writing a children’s book which was intended to be good, but not great literature. Suddenly the pressure to be perfect was off! There was no way it was going to be perfect, or expressed EXACTLY as I envisaged it. I was writing in a language that wasn’t mine, wasn’t my primary medium, one in which I was supposed to be extremely proficient. I was allowed to make mistakes. I was able just to tell a story, for fun, without trying to make every sentence into some kind of intricate piece of jewellery. I had a great time; the characters started talking back and doing things on their own, and the story just poured out without a problem.

So now I need to work out how to do the same thing in English, without despising what I am writing for being insufficiently brilliant or beautiful or perfectly crafted. I’m sure we’re all familiar with the making of any and every excuse not to sit down and do the thing we really want (or say we really want) to do… Fear of failure or fear of success? Fear of the terrible blank page, or fear of having too much to say and getting it wrong? All of these, perhaps… In any case, being on tour this summer has taught me that while I like to be doing different things, I definitely need to be more focussed on acting and writing, whereas at the moment the scales are heavily weighted towards editing and journalism. I have to do something about this, before even more time slips by. Oh, and after a lifetime of never being very bothered about money I have also suddenly realised that you need money to buy peace and quiet. (ALL Londoners have noisy neighbours.) Since I always forget to buy lottery tickets, my only hope of ever making any money is to write a bestseller. Well, they say you should always aim high…

Sep 29

10 Comments

Kelly: Is the Universe Speaking?

…And just what the heck is she saying? I have two close friends who are big followers of the principles in the book The Secret. If you’ve been under a rock and haven’t heard of it, the basic premise behind The Secret is that if you open yourself up to it, the Universe will bring you what you need. Okay, so I admit, I haven’t read the book, and I’ve thought it was a bunch of nonsense. I’ve always believed you create your own luck and drive your own fate. But lately I’ve been wondering if there’s not something to this Universe stuff. Back in July, I talked about When Life and Art Meet Frustration, basically the struggles I have with time in holding down a full-time job (or two), raising twin girls, and trying to live a creative life. In that post, I talked about a couple changes I was considering, one of which was shifting from full-time college administrator to full-time faculty.

So here’s where that pesky Universe thing comes in. Off and on over the years, I’ve considered joining the K-12 teaching ranks. Now that my girls are in school, that’s starting to look more and more attractive. Working their schedule would be quite lovely, not to mention those summers off, and furthermore, teaching at their school would make my life a very sweet piece of key lime pie compared to the hectic schedule I deal with now. A couple weeks ago when I emailed my girls’ teacher about Sarah’s little smarty pants reading display I talked about here, I also told her that I was considering making a move to K-12 and asked her if she knew anything about the alternative certification program we offer here in Florida. She replied why yes, “I was the professional development facilitator for the alternative certification program last year.” Okay, maybe there’s one point for Madame Universe. Last Wednesday we met and talked about my background and how it might benefit me in a switch like this (“Oh, I think you could bring so much to the children!”).  We also talked about what she felt her challenges were as a K-6 teacher. Sure, there are a few, but apparently at this school, not many, as she said, “We have such a great culture here, and I can honestly tell you, it’s not like that everywhere.” The school is an “A” school. She suggested I sit in on some classes to see what it was actually like and directed me to make an appointment with the principal to schedule the visits.

So off I went to the principal’s office to make an appointment. “Oh, she’s available now!” said her secretary. “Would you like to talk with her?” Two points for the Universe?  I wasn’t quite prepared for that, but told myself what the heck, since I’m already here, I might as well. Lovely woman, Principal Johnson. We talked easily, and I told her my thoughts. We discussed my background and what would be necessary for certification. “Given your background, there’s a good chance you could simply take the General Knowledge exam, pass it right away, and voila! You’re certified!” Hmmm…interesting. She started making some suggestions on classes I should visit and then stopped mid-sentence. “What did you say your master’s degree is in?” “English.” “Hmm, I have a 4th grade English and Language Arts teacher going out on maternity leave in December, and she’s decided to become a stay-at-home mom and will not be returning.” Okay, did Madame Universe just offer up a slam dunk, here? Seriously! What are the chances that (1) my girls’ teacher was the professional development facilitator for the program last year, (2) the principal just happens to be available to talk, and (3) said principal just happens to have an opening coming up in my subject area? And just for a few more giggles…the teacher who’s leaving? Her last name is Nelson. My maiden name? Nelson. And guess whose class my girls’ teacher’s daughter is in? Yep, you guessed it. Ms. Nelson. Do I need to go read this darn book?

Now to toss a different crouton onto the salad….I’m down a staff member and will start interviewing to fill that position soon. Today, I reviewed all the applications. I have 32. Nearly two-thirds of them are current Duval County school teachers; nearly two-thirds of those are current Duval County elementary school teachers. Are you catchin’ what I’m layin’ down here? (Sorry, I work with college kids…sometimes that stuff just comes out. 🙂  First, I have that danged Universe concept potentially throwing open the doors for me, and then boom! She throws me a curve ball. Why do they want out when I’m thinking about going in? Is this just a “grass is always greener” scenario?  So what gives? Fill me with your knowledge, my friends. I’m open to advice! I’m spending the day in Ms. Nelson’s class on Monday.

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