Cathy: Double Whammy
Everyone is thinking resolutions, new beginnings, new projects, etc at this time of year. On news programs and morning shows, they obsess about it for weeks leading to and long after the big ball drop in Times Square. Everywhere you turn, a neighbor, the grocery clerk, your mechanic, discusses options and fall offs for this and all prior New Year’s. I have the extra special honor of having my birthday in the same week, so I get a double whammy.
I’m putting all this resolution stuff to bed. This weekend I heard an interesting take on viewing birthdays as a new beginning and a turning point for putting hope into action, optimism into more than just dreams. Rather than just the pointing out: yes I survived another one. Oh boy, yep! I reached 43 big ones! With a new baby here, still can’t believe how I pulled that one off, but I have another still gestating — my manuscript.
I admit, in this past crazy holiday time, including up to two weeks prior, with all in the house sick in various states, myself included, I mostly mulled the manuscript in the back – or fore — of my mind. Not much writing got done while coughing, snuffling, caring for coughing and snuffling, prepping for all three holidays, guests, travelling, and so on. Nevermind the two solid weeks of Winter Break! In my own schooling or in my years working in public schools have I ever had a two solid weeks’ worth of vacation. Finally I’m beginning to feel like life might settle back down.
And then rolls up my birthday, like a big old tail finned red Cadillac. That’s right, my birthday is an American model. I don’t think we have many of my particular vintage Japanese models floating around here. I’m certainly not a compact model anymore, either, though I was often noted for being so until recently.
Anyway, I felt really creaky and crummy yesterday, and my dear dh who is a bit of a grumbler himself, managed to take something I said personally, though that wasn’t where I was going. We have this particular communication defect pretty often, it goes both ways. Well, this time, as crummy as I felt, I said, after I wrote an inflammatory note, blew up, cried, and bemoaned, that I do not want to live this way anymore. I will not try to be the solitary cheerleader in the family of grumblers. I will do my best not to grumble myself. And if anyone around here grumbles, I’m throwing a sock at their head.
My main really good Life Philosophy is that while it may be hard, it may be challenging, at some times more so than others, the bottom line on Life is that it is Good. Life is an Adventure. Life is Beautiful, Everywhere, All Around Us, Everyday. This year in particular, after a couple of rough crabby ones, with some pretty incredible joys, I am going to return to living mine as such — especially in writing. But I’m also going to buy that camping equipment before summer, and get these kids out into the world and Mother Nature. Get out and stare up at the stars while the campfire burns, smoke and pollen in our eyes, up our noses, and bugs, too.
Isn’t that, right there, whether you’re a writer, artist, or accountant, what life is all about? No computers, no TV, no handheld video games. It’s you, your family, the night and stars, and by day fishing, even if you catch a dagblasted empty hook, or just walking along a beachy, or woodsy trail. Then I’m going off-path. Not that I was ever one much for staying on it. Especially looking back at all the above mixed metaphors and winding tangents just since the first paragraph here.