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Apr 8

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Suzanne: An Introduction

I’m an American living in Japan with my Japanese baseball coach husband and our eight-year-old twins. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. I’ve been writing stories and novels since childhood. This year – after five attempts at writing a novel – I have finally succeeded in publishing one. Losing Kei, my debut, completed in stolen hours at coffee shops and at the kitchen table while my family slept, was published in January.

Another project which I worked on simultaneously – an anthology entitled Love You to Pieces: Creative Writers on Raising a Child with Special Needs – will be officially published next month. And coming up, in November, Topka Press will publish my first children’s picture book, Playing for Papa.

So it’s going to be a great year, and yet I still feel like I’m teetering on the edge of a career as a writer. It’s been two years since I finished writing my novel and the short story that will become a picture book. I’d expected to have another novel completed by now, especially since my children are now in elementary school. And the short story collection that was accepted for publication by a press that I admire is no longer accepted. The editor that I was working with died suddenly, and the press’s interest in my work died along with him. And what’s more, the publisher of my novel has sold his company. The new owners seem to have a different vision for the company, one that might not include me.

So this writing business, I’ve found, is a precarious one. There are infinite levels of failure. Yet I persist. I didn’t start writing for money or fame or adulation. I wrote because I love it. And I still do.

Having written five novels already, I know that I can go the distance and write another one. This month, the members of my writer’s group have committed ourselves to writing 10,000 words. As of today, I’ve completed 2,663 words on my novel-in-progress. Onward!

Apr 7

4 Comments

Jenn: The Finish Line is in Westfield

Miranda wrote to me the other day and asked where I’ve been. I haven’t posted to this blog in several weeks, though I’ve logged on and lurked. I wrote back to her and said that I only write when I have some news and progress, and that though my students were getting their parts done, I hadn’t actually turned in a chapter since the 11 chapter flurry over spring break. Why would I write a post saying “I failed?” I mean, isn’t it obvious by my absence that I didn’t meet my goals?

The truth is, two things have gone on. One: I’ve temporarily exhausted my desire and probably my ability to write. I wrote like crazy, non-stop for months, and now I need a break. *Could* I keep going? Sure. Would it be forced and lackluster? Yes. And the other thing: It’s Spring.

Spring means road races, people! I used to be a good runner about three years ago. I have a line of trophies and medals in my office to attest to this fact. I once ran 8 marathons and an ultramarathon in 9 consecutive weeks. I ran until I was 9 months pregnant. I ran a 10K when my daughter was a few weeks old, my dad driving nearby with her in the car in case she got fussy. Running, like writing, is what I do. But for the past year or so, I’ve slogged along 5 miles to school and 5 miles home most days. Liking the trip, feeling like I’m somehow cheating the system by running AND commuting to work at the same time. But I haven’t raced in a while. I’m not on the EDGE, I’m traversing a distance in a routine.

So this weekend, I signed up for a 5K in Northampton MA, mostly so my daughter could run the kids fun run beforehand. I didn’t feel like racing when the gun went off, I hadn’t warmed up, and I started off fairly slowly. But then by the time the race was nearly over, I was in oxygen deficit, running all out, and loving/hating the feeling. I ended up winning my age group. Then I went out to lunch, went to a dog show, went to an alpaca show, had dinner with my friends Paul and Jeff, drank WAY too many Guiness’s, stayed out WAY too late, getting not one minute of sleep, then toeing the line at a 1/2 marathon in Westfield the next morning. The sky was gray, I was hungover, exhausted, happy, hungry, and bewildered – wondering what the heck I was doing there.

I don’t usually run to music, but I felt I needed my IPod to get through this race; I hadn’t run 13.1 miles in over a year. The race started off well, I got caught up in a pack of guys who were running the 5K and so I went out WAY too fast. The first 1/2 hour or so were up a mountain, and I listened to Eminem, Shannon, Rick James, Beck, Queen, etc. and cranked out some fast miles. Then it started to hurt. As I went up yet another incline, I thought, “Thank GOD I have my Ipod.” Then the Ipod died, leaving me with the sound of my mysery and lack of training for the next 8 excruciating miles. Oh, and this blog.

On the run, I realized that I was wrong to stay away because I haven’t written and turned in more chapters. Isn’t that a rather narrow mindset? Hasn’t a recurring theme recently been about balance? Why do I feel like a failure because (a) it’s finals time and I’m crazed at work, (b) I’ve taken my daughter to some really fun, cool things that she’s enjoyed immensely, (c) I’ve been reconnecting with old friends and having a blast with them, (d) I’ve taken my classes on four weekend field trips these past two months, (e) I’ve given four talks at meetings and conferences in the past two months, and (f) I’m back full force on the running circuit, and I now have a training plan, some goals for running, and tons or renewed love for the sport? Isn’t that called “balance?” Who wants to hear from a blogger only as she checks off the boxes towards the completion of her book?

That race in Westfield kicked my butt. I finished 5 minutes ahead of my goal time, so I’m happy, but I was also berating myself for getting so fat and out of shape. I watched my thighs flop up and down in places that they’ve never flopped before and said, “this is the price for too much writing.” Just as repetitive strain injuries are the price for too much running. SO the goal is, yes, to finish the book and well before the deadline, but also to write, to run, and to live life. I missed a due date from The Monday Page, but I won a trophy while the deadline slipped past.

But Brittany, with respect to your question, I know enough about my writing to know that nothing is EVER finished. I just get tired and say, “good enough.” There could ALWAYS be one more example, one fewer example, a more clear description of this, a shorter definition of that. At some point, I just let it go. I look at things I’ve published and said, “Oh MAN, that’s SO rough! WHY didn’t I spend some more time on it.” But back to the balance theme, I was just *done* mentally with the work. Because it was time to move on to something else.

Apr 5

7 Comments

Brittany: Where’s the finish line?

Christa’s post last week left me with a lot to think about. I’m sure I had read it before, that authors are often judged on the basis of their debut novel’s sales, that depending on its success and failure, a career can be born or lost. I probably skimmed over that part in some guide book, thinking that it didn’t apply to me. But after Christa mentioned it, and I responded with a pollyanna-esque comment that now makes me cringe, I started to re-consider my point of view. Her concern is something that bears contemplation… which I have been doing nonstop ever since.

Since that post, I haven’t been able to write. I’ve been happy with my re-writes up to this point, but I wonder now if I’m as far ahead as I thought I was. Is my sparse writing style enough? Can I do better? The other big questions that spring to mind are when will I really be finished? And will I know I’m finished when I get there?

It’s ironic that my book is about home improvement when time and again I have likened the re-writing, re-editing, re-assessing process to the continual construction of the Winchester Mystery House. I think we can safely say that the “additions” to that house didn’t improve it in any way. I wonder about this as I tear apart my novel and try to reconstruct it into something better, something more functional. Am I simply making additions or am I actually making improvements?

I can see this going on indefinetely. The more I learn of the cut-throat behind-the-scenes business of the publishing industry, the more my fear grows that I’m never going to be finished. I was always the student who wanted to turn in my best work, but deadlines always loomed at school. Now there are no deadlines. I can tweak endlessly. And because I lack the experience to know when enough is enough, I might very well end up doing that.

So my question is to those of you who’ve declared your project finished and have gone on to see it published: How do you know when you’ve reached the finish line?

Apr 5

4 Comments

Nina: Well, now that I’m here . . . .

I guess I should introduce myself a little bit.  As this is a community of creative moms, perhaps my creative work is an important part of who I am in relationship to you all.  And how in the world do any of us manage to juggle all of our responsibilities as moms with our internal, soul-longing to create?   Since I’ve had so many years of practice at this, and made so many mistakes along the way, perhaps my experience can offer some encouragement to younger moms.  Because I know that those of us who have this creative drive, will not be denied . . . . we might find ourselves weary and exhausted, creating in the wee hours of the morning (if we are morning girls!) or in the dark hours of midnight (if we are night owls) – but somehow we will find a way to create.  And if you are at all like me, you probably even create in your sleep!  Do you wake up with a gazillion ideas screaming through your brain, demanding you to pay attention to them, get up and write them down or sketch them out?  Are we a creative sisterhood, or what?

I have always known that this would be part of my life.  As a very young girl, living in a little cottage by a lake in mid-Michigan, I would write tiny books and illustrate them.  I made paper dolls from notebook paper, cardboard, and crayons by the hour.  I dressed them in all of the incredible outfits that I knew I would never have for myself.  Have you ever read the book, “The Hundred Dresses”?  It is a story about a little immigrant girl who wears the same dress to school every day, and when the other girls make fun of her, she tells them that at home she has “a hundred dresses.”  Right!  Of course, they don’t believe her.  Eventually, after many weeks and months of this humiliation, the family finally decides to move away.  And when the girls who were so unkind to her discover that she has gone, they walk up to “Polish Town” to try to find her . . . . but she is no where to be found.  The door to the house is unlocked, and as they enter the shabby little house and walk into her bedroom, they discover, in fact, “one hundred” drawings of beautiful dresses, taped to the walls of her bedroom.  Sorry to spoil the ending for you, but that has always felt like my story. 

As a pre-teen I taught myself to sew.  That was back in the “olden days” as my kids call it, when I could buy a pattern for 50 cents, and enough fabric to make a new dress for $2.00 – $3.00.  And that’s just about what I could make in a night of babysitting!   So, actually I taught myself to sew in self-defense   ;o)  since that was about the only time I ever got a new outfit.  Over the years, I continued to sew and I learned so much from my mistakes.  By the time I got married and had my babies (back in the days when we were all either Earth Mothers or Bra-Burning Feminists!) I decided that my direction in life would be to stay home with my children, even though it meant that we wouldn’t have all of the material possessions that families would have with two incomes.  And one way that I made those few dollars stretch, was to sew for myself and my children.  And that was the beginning of my real love affair with textile design, fabric art, quilting, and any other kind of fabric creations that I could dream up. 

So, here I am many years later, continuing to design and create beautiful children’s clothing, tote bags, and other accessories . . . . and along the way,  I returned to college where I earned three college degrees, and discovered that I also love to write!  I have recently combined these gifts and experience, and now I have been blessed with the opportunity to write eBook patterns for a variety of my designs so that I can now encourage and guide young moms who want to learn to sew for themselves and their children.  I love helping other moms!  That is my passion now, to use my creativity at this stage of my life to bring the joy of the artistic life to others who need a little help along the way.  I’ve also played a bit with altered art and mixed media collage work, and one of my pieces will be included in an upcoming book, “Life is a Verb.”  This is a book by Patti Digh, and it is a collection of essays on the topic of “37 Days” . . . . if you knew you had just 37 days to live, what would you do with your life?  Well . . . . as you can see, I DO like to write!  And, although my creative work is perhaps a bit different from the writers here in this group, I truly want to encourage every woman, mother, sister, girlfriend . . . . . to create!  Express yourself in the areas where you are gifted, and together we can create a community where we can support each other.  Now that I’m here, just wanted to introduce myself!  

Here are a few fun things I’ve been working on recently . . . . .

       

          

Apr 4

2 Comments

Nina: What can I bring to this party?

Well, since I’ve been invited to the party, I am wondering what I have to bring to this gathering. I’m honored to be included in this creative sisterhood, and I’m impressed with what I’ve read and seen since I arrived. But I still am trying to figure out what I have to offer. I’ve been thinking about it all day . . . . . while I was at my daughters’ school listening to first graders read “Never Say Never” over and over and over again. I thought about it after school when we drove down the hill to WalMart to buy the new “Alvin and the Chipmunks” dvd that I promised Gracie if she earned her “Good Worker Awards” at school this week. And I was still thinking about it when we arrived home with way more “stuff” than I intended on buying on this little shopping trip. Oh well, that always happens whenever I go shopping with husband and kids in tow. “We really need these, Honey,” he’ll say as he throws in a pair of slippers and a 10-piece miniataure tool set. “Look at THIS, Mom! We REALLY need a new sleeping bag / tote bag / sun glasses / flip flops / Dora watch,” whatever . . . . I’m tired and I just want to go home!

Having been a mother for almost 35 years (yes, I probably am old enough to be YOUR mother!) I’ve had many experiences and years of joy and heartache . . . . .maybe THAT’s what I can bring to this party. Not that I know so much more than younger mothers, it’s just that I’ve been doing this for a really long time, and most people who know my husband and I wonder if we are totally insane that we decided to adopt our daughters after all our other children were grown up and most of them having families of their own. Could be . . . . but I guess we are happy crazy people! Being a mom can be very exhausting, especially if you have a creative spirit. I am always amazed at the other moms that I meet who seem to have nothing else to do but drop their kids off at school, and then go home and watch Oprah. Now, not that there’s anything wrong with watching Oprah . . . . . I guess, I don’t know because if I had an hour to do whatever I wanted to do, it sure wouldn’t be to watch TV, no matter who’s chatting with whom on a couch in the middle of a studio audience!

So how do we balance the demands and responsibilities of motherhood with our need for time to express our creativity? I’ve tried lots of different things, including the one hour bath time, the dining room table tent, and all kinds of other tricks to appease my sense of . . . . what? . . . . guilt? . . . . . that I need time for ME! We are all such creative moms, whether we write, paint, dance, sing, design, sew, draw – and that is just who we are. And that is OK! And whether or not you believe in a Higher Power, or God, or whatever works for you, I think it is OK with the universe that we, as women, as wives, as mothers, as people, need time to be who we were meant to be. So . . . . my first offering as an invited guest is this: Let yourself be yourself. Simple, right? It really is, because if there is one thing I’ve learned in all the years that I’ve been a mom is this one straightforward truth: if I collapse under the weight of the “expectations” for my life, I am not really very helpful to those who really, truly do need me. Oh, expectations . . . . let’s chat about THAT topic one of these days!

If you can afford a few hours a week for child care, even if you are “just” working at home, do it for YOU. Or trade with another mom who also needs some time to herself. Find a way, without feeling guilty, to allow your creative spirit to soar beyond the everyday demands. Give yourself the gift of YOU, and that gift will overflow to everyone else in your life. Don’t waste the years that I wasted, thinking that if I just worked a little harder, a little longer . . . . just got a little less sleep, or deprived myself so that others could have everything they want and always be happy . . . . . . it simply didn’t work then, and it won’t work for you, either. Lower the bar . . . . isn’t that what one of you suggested? Touche!

Apr 4

1 Comment

Miranda: What to paint (or write or make) next

paintbrushesI subscribe to the weekly newsletter of Canadian painter Robert Genn. While Genn writes about painting, I often find that his thoughts apply to any creative pursuit, including writing. This week’s newsletter spoke to the dilemma of deciding which project to work on next–something that Christa recently experienced.

Genn’s newsletter is reprinted here in full, by permission.

Yesterday’s inbox included the short and sweet: ‘I’ve been painting seriously for the last fifteen years, and I now have trouble deciding what to paint. How do I decide?’ The email was signed ‘Diane W. Reitz, BFA.’

Thanks, Diane. Maybe the BFA after your name gives us a clue. Maybe you know too much. But don’t worry, it’s a common problem, BFA or not.

The creative life requires a steady progression of experimentation and discovery. While acquired wisdom is useful, your knowledge must work in tandem with the daily exercise of your curiosity. A life in art is more a working event than the application of prior knowledge. Further, as you paint, you are able to decide what to paint. Paintings come out of themselves.

Prime your pump–your work goes viral.

There’s a pile of tricks you can pull to prime the pump. Go to your earlier inspiration–drawings, reference photos, field notes. Recall the direction this material took you in the past, and then go looking for a new angle. Don’t waste time. Commit yourself to the most humble application of paint. Get it through your system and out onto your reviewing easel. Perhaps reward it with a quick framing. Consider again the possibilities and commit once more, perhaps to a larger size.

Don’t be precious. Try to think like Edison when he was trying different stuff that might do for filaments in light bulbs.

First thing you know you’ll feel refreshed and renewed rather than burdened with making a decision. Further, you will see a need for further refinement. Personal refinement of vision makes creativity worthwhile. What you do may not be unique in the greater world of art, but it’s the sweet ignorance of outcome that drives you on.

When artists see themselves inching forward with minor improvements, they begin a natural flow that becomes unstoppable. I formerly told artists who were unable to decide what to paint that they might not be cut out for the game. Then I realized that our very existence is based on ignorance of where we’re going. What’s important is having the fortitude and patience to dig around and try to find out. Actually, ‘having trouble deciding’ is a good part of the fun. Accept the fun.

Best regards,

Robert

Apr 2

Miranda: Writing between the cracks

I much enjoyed this piece at Literary Mama, written by Lily Dayton. She touches on many of the issues that we’ve discussed during the past few months. Here’s a brief excerpt from the opening:

I write between the cracks of my life, the narrow space I have left between potty training and ballet practice, laundry loads and dinner on the table by six. Because I am a stay-at-home mom, living on my husband’s post-doctoral stipend–which means we live month to month, riding on a wave of debt that always threatens to submerge us–I only have time to write when my children are sleeping or when we (rarely) have enough money to pay someone else for their care. So I write during naptime, after bedtime (eyes burning), occasionally while Savanna and Camille are outside making forts in the twisted cypress limbs (threat of distracted drivers and greasy-haired child molesters never far from my thoughts). But these cracks in the walls of my life, though hair-line, are long and deep. Within them, writing is the seam that holds everything together.

To read the article in its entirety, click here.

Mar 31

Miranda: Celebrate National Poetry Month

borzoiEnjoy reading poetry? Subscribe to a little bit of daily inspiration for the month of April, courtesy of Knopf’s Borzoi Reader:

“Nine years ago we began a Knopf tradition. To celebrate National Poetry Month, we sent a poem a day by e-mail for 30 days to anyone who asked to receive them. Now, with over 25,000 subscribers, we are proud to continue with a whole new series of daily poems. Each weekday, you will receive a poem from some of the best poets in the world including Mark Strand, Sharon Olds, and Laurie Sheck, as well as classics from Langston Hughes, Robert Burns and more.”

To subscribe, visit Knopf’s Poem-a-Day page. (Here’s hoping the editors at Knopf will read the e-mail I just sent them, pointing out that the current year is 2008, not 2007. Oops.) And thanks to Roland for sending me the link!

Mar 27

11 Comments

Christa: A tough decision

A few weeks ago I submitted my first novel, HURT, to a startup small publisher for consideration. This came after 90+ agent rejections, some of which provided the feedback that the agents didn’t feel they could sell the novel. I figured it was just the business, and maybe my chances were better with a small press.

Then I read this post by well-known crime fiction critic David J. Montgomery, and I realized I was that desperate writer he was talking about. I realized my novel wasn’t particularly original–well-written, yes, but not about anything or presented in any way new–and that, as he writes, I could actually harm my career (not to mention the small press’s reputation) by trying to get it published.

So I decided to shelve it and start over.

Remarkably, this doesn’t bother me that much. I think I’d grown tired of the novel, and I came to understand that I don’t want to spend a lot of time marketing something that I know is “just decent” but not great. I’d rather focus on my current WIPs, which I do think are more original, and better written too.

With that, though, I find myself once again back at square one: which project to pursue? HURT is a crime fiction novel, and I’d like to be known as a dark crime fiction author who occasionally forays into horror. So do I work on the next crime fiction project… or continue the horror novella? (I don’t have any particular momentum on the novella, so all projects are more or less equal in terms of desire.) What would you do?

Mar 27

8 Comments

Miranda: Surf and turf

laptop2I imagine that most of us would admit to spending more time on the internet than we “should,” at least on occasion. Some months ago I turned off the automatic “check e-mail” schedule in Outlook, but really all that means is that I obsessively hit “send/receive” during any moment of down time or transition. And then there are all the websites and blogs I visit regularly. Some of them are related to creativity, but many aren’t. I have to keep an eye on the political news, and I’m on Facebook at least once a day. For reasons that I haven’t fully understood, I also visit celebrity/gossip websites, embarrassing as that is to admit.

Of course, surfing can be useful and inspiring. The internet helps us stay connected to the virtual creative network that is truly important to many creative women. Staying connected is a great way to remember that you ARE a creative person. Rubbing elbows, even virtual ones, with other creative types is often inspiring and motivating. (Hence our group affection for this blog.)

Sometimes I do get sick of my laptop, and set it aside for a day, but when I’m supposed to be working (as in, paying for childcare), I’m at my weakest. I know that most of the time I spend on the internet (and to some extent, e-mail) is pretty much a waste of time. I could definitely condense my daily surf round, and still keep up with everything I’m interested in. But I go back to certain sites repeatedly, throughout the day–clearly procrastinating. Especially these days, when I really do NOT feel like working. And it’s so inefficient to constantly interrupt myself to check e-mail or read another blog. Why not just get the work done, and THEN enjoy the R&R?

Lately I’ve been thinking of purchasing a wireless-free AlphaSmart Dana, because I like the idea of a machine that’s really an electronic typewriter. I simply don’t have the will power to turn off my internet connection while I’m working–be it “work work” or the creative stuff. But then I tell myself I shouldn’t be spending money when I could simply just hit the network button on the machine I already own.

How to balance the good of the internet with the bad of wasting time that could otherwise be spent on creativity? And while I’m procrastinating (ahem), what websites and blogs do you visit on a daily basis? (Feed the beast!)

Mar 24

2 Comments

Lisa D.: How NOT To Write a Novel by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman

HarperCollins sent me a very handy book to review: How NOT To Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them — A Misstep-By-Misstep Guide by writers and editors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman.  I thought that a few of you might appreciate this hilarious and insightful book as much as I did.  If you’d like to read the review, click here.

Mar 23

3 Comments

Miranda: New leaves

new leafI gather that spring may actually be coming to New England. The vernal equinox was March 20, and even though it’s hard to believe, I trust that within the next month our season will actually shift. We’ll stop needing coats and scarves. The snow will finally melt. And then: the growing season. I dream every day of that pale green blush that suddenly appears on our bare branches, slowly erupting into dewy new foliage. It’s like magic, every year.

The prospect of warmer weather has framed my thoughts about many of our recent posts. There’s a struggle between the Little Engine that Could’s “I think I can…I think I can” and a mother’s reality of “You’ve got to be kidding me.” For some of us, myself included, quitting–even temporarily–has seemed like the option of choice, or perhaps inevitable.

I think I got caught up in my plans to finish my nonfiction book, and–as Bethany recently blogged–suffered from unrealistic expectations in terms of output and regularity of schedule. The bar was too high. That said, while it may be the path of least resistance, I don’t want to include quitting on my menu. I can’t. I think about it, but I know what will happen: I’ll go back to being miserable, cranky, self-absorbed, and resentful. Not only do I owe it to myself, but I owe it to my husband and children. I am a better person when I create. It doesn’t have to be monumental, but if does have to be regular enough that I can erase the question marks from my calendar.

So I’m stepping back, while stepping up. Each of us needs a strategy for NOT throwing in the towel. (Sure, we’ll all need to take a little break from time to time, but that should be a positive, proactive choice–not a painful, wistful resignation.)

Instead of a milestone goal for each week (such as “Finish Chapter 3”–a goal I’ve stated more times on the Monday Page than I care to admit) my goal is going to be to work on my book for 10 minutes every day. That’s it. You may know, as I do, that this is a great trick to play on yourself. You know you can commit to 10 minutes–ANY of us can do that–and so the prospect of sitting down to write is not so intimidating. On many days, I may really only have 10 minutes–but on many others (such as this afternoon) I might “accidentally” write for an hour. If I only write for 10 minutes, I am a big success. I’ll be keeping the creative flow going, and will be thinking about my work even when I’m not working, because it will be fresh. And if I stumble into a bonus, well then, brilliant.

Christa has on several occasions noted her success in shooting for a very low output, and being satisfied with that. It makes perfect sense. Why turn up your nose at a fleeting keyboard session, only to hold out for a “real” creative stint–that never happens? Much better to keep yourself going in minor, even microscopic–intervals. Brittany can also attest to the critical mass that suddenly appears after inching along for what feels like a very long time. I need to adjust myself to this paradigm, because in the near future I’m going to find myself back in Land of the Newborn–where long stretches of anything simply don’t exist.

In the vein of “we can do it,” I’d also like to celebrate a few successes on this blog, as detailed on the Monday Page: Brittany finished her novel and is deep in revisions (huge round of applause, Brittany); Jenn has written more than half of her contracted textbook; Lisa completed her contracted history book (awesome!); Lisa and myself both revised short stories and submitted them to contests; Bethany finished at least three chapters of her novel and is shopping material; and Christa finished at least three chapters of her new novel.

Pretty damn impressive. I never made the cheerleading squad, but if I could, I’d do something eye-catching to congratulate everyone. Hard to believe I’m quoting Dory for the second time in a week, but, “Just keep swimming…just keep swimming…”

Oh, and keep an eye out for spring, if you’re living in the glacial northeast.

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