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1/28 Weekly creativity contest winner & new prompt

Hope is a beautiful thing. And so is the collection of entries for this week’s creativity contest.

Our winner is book artist Rebecca Coll, who crafted a highly creative piece. Rebecca writes: “I pretty much decided to fall in love with Emily Dickinson’s poetry when I was in the 3rd or 4th grade and learned we had the same birthday… Although I’m not sure I’m as smitten as I used to be, the poem on the attached piece is one I have always liked. It describes hope in such a powerful way — as opposed to the desperate hopes you hear so much about. SO I decided to use that poem as inspiration for a paper cutout pop-up ‘book.’ It’s not really a book, more like a card with a hardback cover…. The outside cover is the Dickinson poem and inside is a gold papercut ‘tree of life’ with a red bird perched on a branch. The tree of life is the symbolic image I used for the ‘soul’ where Dickinson says our hope sits perched. Gold is for the precious nature of our souls and the red of the bird is for the fire and strength of our hopes.”

hope11

hope21

hope3

 

From Terri Fischer, a series of photographs. Terri writes: “The collage entitled ‘hope’ [below] is a collection of photos that I took of a few of my friends while we watched the inauguration. My good friend Sarah is from England, and has been obsessed with the campaign, election, and inauguration of President Obama (I still love saying that!). She hosted an little Inauguration Day party for a group of local moms that were home that day. Sarah is on the right, hand to mouth, likely stifling a sob.”

hope2

“‘Obama2’ [below] is, of course, from the same day. I love this photo because it signifies generations to me–mother, daughter, and baby doll, engaged in this historic moment. I feel that the role mothers play in shaping the future of this country is highly underrated! This photo speaks to me of both hope and responsibility.”

obama2

“‘Broo,’ [below] is a photo of my fourth child. OK, so really, she’s only watching Kung Fu Panda, but doesn’t that sweet little face make you think ‘hope’?”

broo

 

From Brittany Vandeputte, a poem with photographs: Brittany writes, “Again, a silly poem inspired by recent events.”

AN ODE TO A TODDLER BY THE DOG SITTING HOPEFUL BESIDE THE HIGH CHAIR

Please just a nibble.
Please just one bite.
Just a morsel of chicken.
Iʼll catch it mid-flight.
No one will notice.
No one will see.
Theyʼll think you ate your dinner,
When it was actually me!
brittany

 

From Jennifer Johnson, a poem:

Hope (The Thing With Feathers)

Some screams are ones you never will forget.
That day, the cries of raw distress
reminded me of blood on black macadam,
an elbow scraped, a shredded dress,
the gravel ground too hard on naked knees.
The common childhood playground casualties.

I went outside, prepared to cluck and shush
assurance — anything to halt
that run of ragged noise, too full of pain,
too flavored by the angry salt
of tears, too close to language to ignore.

I looked around the park but saw no child.
My ears found her — a wounded crow
was dragging one dark wing and hurling sound
at cats who crouched a pebble’s throw
away from her, tails twitching, inching closer.

I broke the clowder’s circle, scared them off,
but terrified the trembling bird.
She hopped away, still shrieking. I stood still
and willed her quiet. She preferred
to flap her one good wing and curse us all.

What could I do? She was no condor, tern,
or albatross; was neither rare
nor lovely. She was common. Did she know
this? Were her cries akin to prayer?
Her voice alone was keeping her alive:
her almost-human hope that she’d survive.

 

From Marsanne Petty, two entries (again! Go Marsanne); a photograph and a prose piece:

a) “We go to Savannah, Georgia, every year for vacation. We’ve been to the Pirate’s House Restaurant a couple of times. It’s a pretty good restaurant. Anyway, this lantern hangs by the front door, and according to each of the pirates that have taken us on various tours, it was there as a beacon of hope to those on the Savannah River. It may have worked; it may not have. Regardless of the truth of the story or the usefulness of the lantern, it makes for a nice photo.”

hope-lantern

b) Hope

Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a happy ending. She had heard it her whole life, especially from her mother. After three failed marriages and one husband who died, she could agree with her mother that there wasn’t much hope. But that didn’t stop her from trying to believe.

Her first hope was that she would get out of this town. That hadn’t happened, what with the abusive boyfriend and lack of schooling. She supposed, really, that her first hope had been to finish high school and go to college in another town. There. That was a much better clarification of her hope. The school thing hadn’t worked out too well – she ended up spending all of her time with the boyfriend, which in turn, led to a failed relationship and failing out of school. And yet she was still in the same small town, alone.

Her second hope was to give her mother a sense of happiness. The poor woman had been through so much, the husbands, the divorces, the death…. What’s a girl to do to help her mother cope with something like that? That had failed too. Her mother had fallen into a deep depression and was reduced to taking medication to get through the day.

Her third hope was to be an artist. She tried, really, she did. She attempted lovely landscapes on napkins, spare newspapers, bits of paper she could find anywhere. A severe lack of money didn’t exactly lend itself to art. When the landscapes didn’t work, she tried people, buildings, individual flowers. All failures.

So she moved on. Her fourth hope was to learn the history of her family. Where did they come from? What did their odd sounding names mean? Could she find more ancestors of her own – other family members, other than her battered, depressed mother? She questioned her mother, who knew nothing. Her own mother had abandoned her to a nearby family when she was four. She could no longer even recall her own mother’s name. The name of the family? Her mother didn’t remember them either, she was gone from their home by the age of twelve, on the street to fend for herself. Any other relatives, then? No, none that she knew of. What of her father? A vicious snort from her mother. Look at your birth certificate, child. I have no idea who he was. No maternal relatives, no paternal name to trace. Hope number four was dashed.

She hoped to take the money her mother had given her and make it stretch far enough to buy food for the two of them. Enough to last the week, at least. So she took the money and walked to the grocery store, closely tallying what she added to her basket. Like every other week, she came up short, even purchasing the cheapest brands of foods, the most cost efficient packages. She went to the register to pay for her meager collection, another hope ruined. They would be hungry at the end of the week.

Walking back home, it began to sprinkle and she thought of her mother’s words – no happy ending. Hope after hope…all failed. She looked up at the sky to see if the rain was going to get harder before she made it home. A rainbow gleamed down at her, reminding her that there was always hope, and it never hurt to stop hoping for something better.

 

From Cathy Coley, an illustrated prose piece:

Hope’s name is Lucy

epsn0039I love dogs, I grew up with generations of them. For many years living in condos or apartments, I promised my boys, especially K that we would get a dog as soon as we could afford a house. As soon as we moved in, I took them to the local SPCA on a Friday afternoon, near closing to ‘just look.’ The smell of urine and dog and cat fear was everywhere, as it is in these places, even when they are doing their best to find homes for the lost, the lonely, the neglected and the abused. As soon as we walked through the door to the kennels, the first thing we saw adopted us. She was a nervous mangy little cutie we couldn’t get out of our hearts as soon as we saw her. I had envisioned a fluffier, prettier and bigger dog than this tiny bald terrier mix, and we really tried to consider all the others, including puppies we saw, but my heart started racing. I called my husband at work, frantic that we would lose her if he didn’t come immediately with us first thing in the morning. Others stopped at her cage with the “aw” that only the most pathetic can evoke. I really didn’t want to lose her. Neither did K or S. I told the kennel tech we would be back with my husband first thing tomorrow, don’t give her away til we get here! I didn’t sleep at all that night. Of course, my husband was reluctant, but couldn’t turn away from her, either, once he saw her.

I also didn’t want to think I was making a hasty decision. I hoped she really was the best dog for our family. So gave myself a little more than twelve hours to consider bringing a dog with full fledged mange into the house, especially with my beautiful old cat. I didn’t want her to start losing her fur. I had no idea what it would take to get rid of it once we had her home. I learned after taking her to the vet that there are two kinds of mange: a highly treatable and a terrible version that the best thing to do is euthanize the poor creature.

1-21-2008lucy-006When I brought her to the vet, the vet tech looked at her and kept saying how lucky she was and what a wonderful family we must be, etc, but it looked like she probably had the latter version of mange. They sent us home with the treatment for the treatable kind after running tests. We all, the vet tech, the whole staff there, and family crossed our fingers, prayed and hoped. Well, two years, a lot of chewed shoes and otherwise, a lot of escapee chases around the neighborhood later, Lucy is a healthy, slightly spazzy, loveable, beautiful part of our family. After fearing she wouldn’t take well to the baby when she arrived, no one in this house seems to love each other more than Lucy and Baby C. Every time I take her into the vet’s office for a check up, they can’t believe she was adopted, she is healthy, and she’s one of their favorite patients, having come back from nearly completely bald mange to this beautiful shiny coat. Look at the hope in her eyes in the before of her before and after pictures. I know there is a lot of a grander kind of hope in the air these days, but we were hers, she was ours, and with her, hope came to great fruition.

 

From Kelly Warren, a photograph entitled “Hope for a New Day”:

hope

 

From me (Miranda): A poem written as I waited in the car with a sleeping baby while my mother ran into a few stores to take care of errands. A few moments are better than none!

Hope is
an iridescent spider’s web
spun fresh each morning,
delicate,
persistent;
strong enough to catch
the sustenance that flutters by.

Hope hangs in the alcove
silver in early sunlight
waiting

 

This week’s prompt: “Clock”
Use the prompt however you like — literally, or a tangential theme. All media are welcome. Please e-mail your entries to creativereality@live.com by 10:00 p.m. eastern time (GMT -5) on Tuesday, February 3, 2009. The winning entry receives a $10 gift certificate to amazon.com. Writers should include their submission directly in the body text of their e-mail. Visual artists and photographers should attach an image of their work as a jpeg. Enter as often as you like; multiple submissions for a single prompt are welcome. There is no limit to how many times you can win the weekly contest, either. (You do not have to be a contributor to this blog in order to enter. All are invited to participate.) All submissions are acknowledged when received; if you do not receive e-mail confirmation of receipt within 24 hours, please post a comment here. Remember, the point here is to stimulate your output, not to create a masterpiece. Keep the bar low and see what happens. Dusting off work you created previously is OK too. For more info, read the original contest blog post.

Reminder: We “hope” for contest more entries

Don’t forget! Send something in for our weekly creativity contest. The prompt is “hope.”

Cathy: Facing things

I’ve really appreciated being a part of this community. I’ve gained confidence in areas I neglected for a long time. I got back in touch with my own creativity in a variety of ways, the biggest of which was returning to a long ago manuscript that I had back-burnered along with many other projects. I’m great at starting things.

However, I think I’m at a point where I’ve hit a freeze. I wasn’t sure why for quite some time, but I think I finally figured it out. I’m near the end. I’m not great at finishing things. I don’t really understand why I have this historic block on finishing things, but I do. I’ve worked in education for many years, but without a degree in it. I started my MEd, but barely, many years ago now. K was a toddler, now he’s a teen. I can say this or that got in the way, but then I think about writing papers in college, or even my thesis, or art projects, or that silly modeling stint I wasted 600 bucks getting together a portfolio then dropped just as suddenly. And I realize, I really have an issue with sticking it out to the end. I rarely stay in one employ for more than a few years at a time, even if I’ve stayed in the same field. I seem to keep starting over.

Now, I’m at the end of my novel, and I still have some research, etc to do for the middle, but I’m really at the point where I’m tying up the loose ends, and I’ve hit a wall. A big wall made of concrete with a tangle of rebar throughout. I have all the advice I can give to anyone else, however, all my advice isn’t doing a darn bit of good for me. I keep hearing myself repeat that I know where I’m going, I know how to get there, but the writing just isn’t happening.

I don’t think pushing my self-imposed deadline out a little farther is going to help me. That just tells me, I still am not writing whether I give myself another couple of weeks or a month to do it. I’m. Not. Writing. The. Manuscript. Now. I wasn’t writing it yesterday. Or, well, you get the idea.

I really hope as in 12 step groups, that the first step toward solving a problem is admitting I have one. OK, I’ve covered that, now where’s my 12 step group for writers who can’t finish?

Hi, my name is Cathy…

Brittany: What Happened to My Muse?

I always have something in my mental queue. Some of the ideas are very promising. Some are wacky. Some might inspire others. Some inspire me. I had thought that my next writing project would be the sequel to my novel, all about Jillian (the ex-nympho) and her pregnancy from hell. But I’m just not feeling it. It’s winter, it’s cold, and quite frankly, I’m not in the mood to write humor. I want to begin something substantial, the kind of book you want to curl up with by a raging fire, and I have an idea for a good one. It would be a historical romance set in eastern Ohio during WWI, between an American soldier and a German-American girl. The typical “shouldn’t be together, but can’t help themselves” kind of love story. That’s part of the reason I’m reluctant to write the story. It’s been told before. It also requires a lot of research. And it would be the literary equivalent of a drama, when I’m more of a sitcom writer.

So I go back and forth. Jillian and the pregnancy? WWI and love? Back and forth, all day long. I’ve been consumed with it lately, because come February 1st, I’ve got to get started on something. This not writing thing is getting miserable. I’m nervous and irritable, drinking pots of coffee, web surfing. Here, my email, my blog, Facebook, here again. All day long. I’m like an addict going through withdrawal. Don’t know what else to do. Don’t want to do anything else.

There are so many things I should be doing, but aren’t right now, and they’re crowding out the time I have for things I want to do. I’m not even sure how I’ll fit writing in.

I joined Weight Watchers last week, for the fifth or sixth time (I’ve lost count), and part of my weight loss success depends on me going to the gym. It would make sense to go in the mornings when Sam is in preschool, but that conflicts with my only writing window, too. Monday mornings are still free, but Tuesdays are completely taken up by my Weight Watchers meeting. On Wednesdays, I can either go to the gym or take John to a children’s program at the library. Thursdays and Fridays are still free, but I struggle between writing and going to the gym on those days as well. And there’s always something to clean at home. I can’t forget to add that into the mix. I feel chronically overbooked. And I’m so preoccupied with domestic minutia that I don’t have a spare brain cell to devote to making a decision.

I’d like to know where my writing muse ran off to, since she typically provides me with some guidance at times like these. But even if she could get into my head (which is doubtful, as it’s standing room only at the moment), she’d have to body check her way past my ever-increasing contingent of other muses. The paragon-of-Mommyhood Muse. The clean house Muse. The home-cooked-meal-every-night Muse. And the hit-the-gym-instead-of-sitting-on-your-butt Muse. All of whom are currently Jello wrestling for face time with me.

Meanwhile, the one muse I’d like to entertain is nowhere to be found.

I could easily write the Jillian book. I know the story backwards and forwards. In my head, I have a beginning, middle, and end. I know all the main characters, and most of the auxiliary characters, too. I could write this book on auto-pilot, because coming off of Home Improvement I know exactly what tone and momentum I need. I’ve already outlined the book, too. So why don’t I want to write it?

Because I want a challenge.

And isn’t that stupid? I have enough challenges right now. I don’t need another one. But I keep piling them on. I don’t feel successful as a wife, mother, or woman unless I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. And if I can leap one tall building, there’d better be another one  on the horizon so I can keep proving myself over and over and over again.

And that’s why I want to write something completely different. To prove to myself more than anyone that I’m not a one-trick pony.

What will my next novel be? I don’t know. But I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I’d like to know how you decide on your next project. What inspires you and what keeps you going?

Open House

Happy Friday! Here’s our bi-weekly roundup of interesting posts from Creative Construction community members.

  1. Christa Miller launched a new website.
  2. Georgia Geis is determined to find her creative mojo again.
  3. Kerry Bennett reflects on being alone.
  4. Emma-Jane Rosenberg thinks about patience.
  5. Mary Duquette finds undeniable beauty.
  6. Jean Van’t Hul has returned to her blog about being creative with your children. (Her blog is a treasure trove. Read our Breakfast interview with Jean if you haven’t already seen it.)

And how about this? The Belly Project blog, as seen in the Well Mom newsletter. How do you feel after looking at all those other women’s tummies? Better about yourself, or worse?

Kelly: Taking chances?

ruby-lights-1-600I got a call about a week and a half ago from an internet marketing company. It was Friday afternoon, nearing dinnertime so the girls were following me everywhere as I tried to take the call, but I held on and listened. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’ve been contacted by internet marketing companies in the past telling me they came across my website and thought they’d be able to help me market the site better, and therefore hopefully, bring in more business. This has never interested me much because, between my arts festivals and my random website and Etsy store sales, I honestly have about as much business I can manage while also holding down a full-time career, raising twin five-year-olds and playing around with other art mediums. I think I’ve held off on any real marketing because I was afraid of what it might bring; sure more steady sales would be a nice bonus, but more sales might also mean I might have a hard time keeping up! I suppose that is not a bad problem to have…to a point. But still, I listened.

This guy had done his research. He knew my site well and seemed genuinely impressed with my work, the layout, the photography and the navigation. Overall, he truly liked the site. He said he found me on the 24th page of a Google search for “artisan jewelry” while doing some research for another client. And yep, he was right; very few, if any, people are going to find me on the 24th page of a Google search. One of my goals for my jewelry business this year was to investigate more internet marketing opportunities, and maybe he just caught me at a good time. He offered me the search phrase “lampwork jewelry” at what I thought was a pretty reasonable rate. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, so he gave me some examples of other clients he represented and the search phrases for them, and I checked them out while I was on the phone with him (the benefit of having broadband internet service!). After talking to him for about 30 minutes and pulling up his business online while I was talking to him to make sure he was truly legit, I finally bit the hook. So, now what, you ask? Well, enter “lampwork jewelry” into your Google search bar and see what you get. It only works for Google, but Google is pretty darn popular, don’t you think? Only time will tell if it’s worth it or not, but it’s month to month and I can cancel at any time so I figured I’d give it a few months and see what happens! Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are just around the corner. 🙂

1/21 Weekly creativity contest winner & new prompt

A fun assortment for this week’s creativity contest prompt: “wool.” And not a baa-d entry among them. (Sorry!) Our winner is Kelly Warren, for a creative project she and her daughters sent in. Kelly writes: “I was stumped on this one until I started going through a pile of sweaters I was taking to Goodwill, and then the perfect little mom and daughters art day idea hit me. The girls and I were home for the MLK Jr holiday and created these pieces. The ‘wool’ came from the purple wool sweater I felted and then cut flower petals from. The girls followed my steps as I created my piece, each putting their own little spin on it. They actually added the rhinestones to theirs before I added any on mine! I love the freedom of their pieces! Makes mine look a little boring! We had paper and glue everywhere and had a great art day together. This morning, the girls wanted to take their pieces to school to show their art teacher, Ms. Haddon. When we showed her and I told her about our process, she literally had tears in her eyes. She said it meant so much to her to know that at least some parents were making art at home with their children and asked me to please bring in any other pieces we make together for them to share. Very sweet.” Nice work, Kelly, Livvie, and Sarah! (Shown in that order.) Your $10 amazon.com gift certificate is en route.

wool-kelly018

wool-livvie017

wool-sarah016

 

From Bec Thomas: A photo of her sumptuous collection of handspun yarn. Don’t you want to curl up in that pile, face down? Although if you closed your eyes, you’d miss the spectacular colors. Bec writes: “There is a lot of different fibers in that lot, wool, mohair, alpaca, camel, silk, yak, and feathers. Many of my yarns are a blend of various fibers and are usually one of a kind.”

yarn

 

From Cathy Coley, a poem:

Wool

I used to live in wool
the smell of it damp against my face
scarf breathed warm
a shield against New England winter wind

hat scratchy pulled low on my forehead
sweater over turtle neck under coat
I even had a wool poncho, hooded
great for fat flaked snowy days
and gloves
all of it wool

wooly knickers or tights under my jeans, too
one last pair of socks with a hole in one heal
all that remains of my wooly days
before Virginia

no fat flakes hover suspended
upon my shoulders or top of my hat
no shoveling the heavy plump,
heart pumping big
breath of wool warm and damp
against my raw cheekbones
no comfort in this unusual cold.

 

From Karen Winters, a painting entitled “Yorkshire Pals.” Karen writes: “I painted this in watercolor a few years ago using two different copyright-free reference photos. I liked the picture of the sheep but the background was poor. So I found a background landscape from the same region that I preferred. When I am painting, whether en plein air or in studio, I don’t let reality get in the way of my creative vision. Just because a tree is growing THERE doesn’t mean we have to paint it. And if the sheep are lovely but on an uninspiring background … well … we can make it different. Creativity is the process of inspiration plus innovation. The late Milford Zornes, watercolorist, once said ‘Don’t paint it how it is … paint it how it could be.’ So these Yorkshire pals are how they could be.”

winters_wool

 

From me (Miranda): A scarf. A mohair scarf. A very long mohair scarf — considerably longer than it needed to be, largely due to the fact that I don’t know how to cast off and I needed my mother to assist me. So I just kept on knitting while I waited. I think I waited, and knitted, for a few months before she finished it off. Last year I thought the thing looked a little loose-knit and I decided to wash it for that boiled-wool look. Uhm, didn’t really work out like I’d intended. Still, I’m proud of my poor straggly scarf, because it’s the first thing I ever knitted, and it’s actually a finished project.

 

scarf

 

This week’s prompt: “Hope”
Use the prompt however you like — literally, or a tangential theme. All media are welcome. Please e-mail your entries to creativereality@live.com by 10:00 p.m. eastern time (GMT -5) on Tuesday, January 27, 2009. The winning entry receives a $10 gift certificate to amazon.com. Writers should include their submission directly in the body text of their e-mail. Visual artists and photographers should attach an image of their work as a jpeg. Enter as often as you like; multiple submissions for a single prompt are welcome. There is no limit to how many times you can win the weekly contest, either. (You do not have to be a contributor to this blog in order to enter. All are invited to participate.) All submissions are acknowledged when received; if you do not receive e-mail confirmation of receipt within 24 hours, please post a comment here. Remember, the point here is to stimulate your output, not to create a masterpiece. Keep the bar low and see what happens. Dusting off work you created previously is OK too. For more info, read the original contest blog post.

Stop to smell the roses. Really.

Perhaps you’ve seen the following, which is currently in e-mail circulation. It’s worth reading — and the story is verified by Snopes as true. (Thanks to Charlotte for the tip.)

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle-aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

In the video below, see how many people actually stop and listen, or pay any attention at all.

You can read an article about this event at the Washington Post.

How about you? Would you have stopped to enjoy the beauty of Bell’s violin, or would you have been too rushed and stressed to pause for a moment? What do you do when your kids want to slow down and observe something or talk about it, and you’re already late for wherever you’re headed?

Cathy: To see, perchance to dream…

My son S was the only person in the house without glasses, minus the baby, cat, and dog, of course. They must be counted, they are family after all. But with four of us two-footers walking around as four-eyes, he was feeling left out. For years now, this has been a fairly regular conversation:

“Mom?”
“Yes, my love?”
“How come I’m the only one in the house without glasses?”
“Be glad you can see well without them. They’re a pain.”
“But I waaaaant glasses!”
“Be careful what you wish for, Buddy.”
“Aw, c’mon, mom, I want glasses, too-oo-oo!”

S seeing himself with glasses for the first time

S seeing himself with glasses for the first time

So, in October we had his annual physical and he professed to not be able to see past the third line. The nurse and I found this very odd, since the year prior, when asked to read down the chart as far as he could, he continued past where the nurse and I no longer could see even with our glasses, and read the copyright line, too. That’s the kind of thing that happens with Asperger’s Syndrome. Aspies are likely to take you very literally. So when the nurse said read as far as you can down to the bottom, well, he did, down to the last character. He read the whole darn poster, not just the chart. That was the itty-bittiest print. I couldn’t read it even when I walked right up to it. But that may be an over-forty story for another day.

Anyway, after what I went through with his older brother at the same age, because he couldn’t see the big E on the chart (yet another story for another day, or week, if you have time for the unabridged version), I said, time to go to the eye doctor. I can’t take S to any old eye doctor, I have to get the referral for a specialist who is accustomed to dealing with the autism spectrum. Luckily, this was one of his brother’s regular specialists, so they had met before when S had been dragged along to K’s appointments. It’s a big help to have had prior experience with each other. So, a few months down the line we had his appointment with Dr. L last week.

How's this?

How's this?

I warned Dr. L that everything S says may not be exactly the 100% truth. That was as much for S as it was for Dr. L. I have to put things in terms of 100% truth for S so that I don’t get school stories of Godzilla or zombie invasions when I ask how his day was. And sure enough, S’s interpretations of the letter lines were interesting, to say the least. Very creative: Big H P became C uh, uh, uh, Z. T V P E Z became 4 3 2 Q uh, uh O. Numbers continued to be thrown in even after Dr. L repeatedly assured my son that only letters were in the charts. Both the ophthalmologist and I found his responses very entertaining, but didn’t let on. In the end, after eye measurements, etc, he is a little nearsighted. It’s pretty common at age ten for kids to suddenly need glasses, especially if a parent has them.

So we headed over to the glasses store the next day, when his eyes were no longer dilated, which with any kid is another form of parental entertainment that is amped up with S. One pair of horn rims he kept returning to gave him a bit of a James Dean look. I liked those the best. Then he found the metal frame wall, like his brother has, and that was it. We selected a slightly more rounded frame from K’s, but they are the same color blue and are very close. Even though older brother mental torture, and otherwise, goes on in our family, S still worships him and wants to be just like him.

Thinking about it

Thinking about it

Later the same evening, he announced that he faked it. He was just pretending and making up answers to the chart. He looked afraid that he’d be wearing glasses that screwed up his eyes because of his embellishments on the eye test. I said, “That’s okay, S. Dr. L and I knew you were making up some of it. That’s why he dilated your eyes, and took measurements with that big mask looking machine.”

The look of shock at being found out was enough to make the most hardened criminal laugh, but in my experience with him, it’s very important not to. No matter how cute he is. Suddenly, after years of the opposite when he didn’t need them, he announced, “But I don’t waaaaant glasses!”

I know this one is going into my writer vault to be used someday.

Kate: First words

A number of times a day I have a thought followed by, oh, this will make a good blog post. I walk through the day writing paragraphs in my head. Some of these paragraphs are very good. Some are not. Regardless, by the time I get the kids to bed (especially when D is gone, which he was last week), I am too tired to type, and I’ve forgotten those smart paragraphs I had labored over earlier in the day. (Yes, I know I should carry a small notebook in my back pocket or invest in one of those itsy bitsy tape recorders, but I don’t.)

The result is that you have no idea what a serious blogger I am. You have no idea how often I “post.” I know that doesn’t count; I’m just groveling for a little affirmation here.

This morning I’m at the coffee shop for the first time in almost two weeks, and I feel rusty. I have a list of things I need to work on: 1. revise book, 2. finish an essay I promised an editor months ago, 3. organize teaching stuff in our radon-filled office basement, 4. prepare for AWP. (I could go on, but I don’t want to stress myself out.)

My goal with the book is to re-type the whole thing into the computer. That’s crazy, isn’t it? Crazy. It’s 97,000 words. But I haven’t looked at it, much less read it, in almost two years, and it’s time to “make it the best book it can be.” I certainly have emotional distance at this point, so I can be brutal with my prose and my scenes. And I will be brutal; I’m actually looking forward to it. But it’s difficult to begin this process because I dislike the first paragraphs of the book. I’ve always disliked them. There, I said it. Time and again, I’ve gotten hung up on these paragraphs. I’ve been obsessive about this word or that word, changing “lie” to “lying” to “lie” to “lying” a dozen times. And I know that this sort of piddling always speaks to a larger problem, a problem that screams: “These paragraphs suck!”

I know what I would tell a student if she came to me with this problem. I would say, “Skip the first paragraphs. Sometimes those are the last to be written. Come back to them.”

I’m absolutely confident that I know what I’m talking about when I doll out this kind advice. I smile and nod encouragingly. I ask my student, “Who says you have to write a book from beginning to end?”

So, I am staring at myself now and nodding encouragingly. (I look slightly foolish, as you can imagine.) But I’m ready to take my advice. I’ll come back to these paragraphs, and soon I’ll discover whether: a) I’m full of shit or b) I really know what I’m talking about. I do hope it’s the latter.

Breakfast with Suzanne

There are many fabulous, creative women in my local community. One of them is Suzanne Révy, an inspiring photographer, blogger, and mother. Those of you who live in Massachusetts or southern New Hampshire can see Suzanne’s work in person at her solo show at the Griffin Museum of Photography‘s Atelier Gallery, located at the Stoneham Theater from February 2 through March 21, 2009; reception on February 26 at 6 p.m. For now, enjoy this latest edition of Breakfast — a feast for the eyes and a good dose of inspiration along with your morning cuppa.

56slefportrait-copycropCC: Please give us an intro to who you are, what you do, and your family headcount.
SR:
I am a 47-year-old wife and mother. I have two boys, ages 9 and 7. College days were spent at Pratt Institute, a Brooklyn, NY, art school, majoring in photography. In my professional life, in the days before kids, I was a photography editor at U.S. News & World Report magazine, and did a short stint as acting picture editor at Yankee magazine after moving to Massachusetts. Since having the children, I left the world of magazines, and returned to my artistic roots of college, and took up the camera again.

CC: Tell us about your photography. Given that you shoot with film and print your own photos yourself, how do you feel about digital photography?
SR: There are two aspects to my work. I make commissioned portraits for clients. I prefer to make portraits in natural light, dockand allow my sitters the freedom to be themselves in front of the camera. The second part of the work is a personal portfolio of images exploring childhood, and childhood play. When my kids were quite young, as I watched them play, I would notice light dancing through their hair…I would watch their hands, feet and toes. Soon I was compelled to make pictures that looked ever closer at the worlds they create.

As for digital photography, I have no problem with it, but I choose to use traditional media, because it suits my vision. And I dislike the obsolescence factor built into so many of our digital gadgets.

CC: What prompted you to start a blog? What keeps you going?
SR:
I found that I enjoyed reading blogs written by other photographers, and decided to give it a go about two years ago. I have found the discipline of keeping a blog instructive, and helpful when I want to clarify any thoughts or problems I have had in my work. And, I have to keep my five or six readers satisfied. So, I keep at it!! lol

swingnshoes-copyCC: Where do you do your creative work?
SR:
I have a darkroom in the basement of my home, and I rent some studio space about 15 minutes away. All those prints were taking over the house, and I needed a bit more space!! Oh… and if any of your readers are interested in building a basement darkroom…bear in mind that your sink CANNOT be too big!!!

CC: Do you have a schedule for your creative work?
SR:
When the kids are in school, I get into the darkroom at least twice a week. During the summer months it gets a little harder, but when I can’t get into the darkroom, I expose a lot of film. Every day.

I find that I have an annual cycle, where I shoot a lot of film during the summer, and processing film is not as time-consuming as printing, so I am able to keep up with processing film when the kids are home.

Then, in the colder months, I make a lot of prints. When I have a printing day planned, I get into the darkroom right after I get the kids onto the bus!

evolutionCC: How has motherhood changed you creatively?
SR:
As a college student at a New York City art school, I was deeply immersed in learning the creative process. I had a classic art education from foundation year through my senior show. It was an extraordinary opportunity to thoroughly engage in an artistic process. After art school, I was faced with that pesky business of making a living, and eventually landed into the world of editorial and magazine photography as an editor. For a long time this satisfied me creatively, and had the benefit of paying the bills, but my own artistry became dormant.

After marrying, and having kids, I was able to stay home with them, and found myself, as any new mother would, making pictures of my children. I found taking film to a local mini-lab frustrating, and started to think again about working in the darkroom. I was motivated to make beautiful prints of my children to hang on the wall. My artistic impulses that had lain dormant for almost two decades were resurrected when I built the darkroom. I did not realize when I had children, just how much I had missed making art for myself. And being immersed in motherhood made the connection for me.

foolsgoldCC: How do you feel about photographing your own children? How do your kids feel about being your subject matter? Do you obsess about capturing every moment that catches your eye?
SR:
I love photographing children. In fact, I love photographing people. I can make an emotional connection to them that is quite unique and apart from the connection I might make with someone in a different context. Looking at their faces and eyes through a ground glass of a camera offers me a unique view into them. It feels like falling in love.

Sometimes, my kids complain about my photographing them, but I think deep down, they find it special. They certainly like it when I make prints of them. As for capturing every moment…oddly enough, I’ve captured enough moments that I don’t need every one. And if we are doing something that I am actively participating in with them, a special day for example, then I don’t make pictures. Or even when they have a concert or play they are performing in. I don’t want to turn those moments into art-making opportunities for me. I want to enjoy them without the distraction of my own work.

And my photographs are about the every day, not really the special days. And there are lots of moments every day to capture. If I miss one or two…well, that’s ok. I will remember them in a different way.

That said, my older son, when he was four, had a bad fall in which he broke his arm and had a large bruise on his face. Fortunately, neither the broken arm, nor the contusion on his face was serious. In the days following, as he recovered, I never made a picture of that bruise. I hadn’t quite immersed myself in photography just yet…and I’ve always regretted not having a record of that injury. I don’t want him to hurt himself again, but if he does…I will remember to record it. Such injuries are an integral part of growing up.

steadyCC: What do you struggle with most?
SR:
Clutter.

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
SR:
I’m inspired by photographers who make good photographs no matter where they are. I am especially interested in photographers who have photographed one subject in depth…Emmet Gowin, Ralph Eugene Meatyard, Larry Towell, and Andrea Modica.

In addition to photography, there are amazing things to be found in the history of art, and I never miss an opportunity to go to museums. I’m drawn to the paintings of Caravaggio, Vermeer, Singer-Sargeant, Homer, Edward Hopper, and several abstract expressionists: Willem de Kooning and Mark Rothko. Oh…and I love the paintings and sketches of Jean Francois Millet.

CC: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?
SR:
I have a pretty big blogroll on my blog and in my reader. I have made connections to a lot of photographers through blogs, but if I have to pick 5:

I’m active on a couple of forums as well — the Analog Photography Users Group and Filmwasters. There are a few online photography magazines that I follow, Fraction Magazine, Flak Photo, and Lens Culture.

toad3-copyCC: What is your greatest indulgence?
SR:
Buying photographic monographs, and if anyone’s interested in helping me out with that, I have a convenient Amazon.com wish list!! lol

CC: What are you reading right now?
SR:
I just finished The Gift by Lewis Hyde. This book is a must read for every artist engaged in an endeavor that has seemingly no commercial value, because it has extraordinary value to a healthy society. It was one of the most important books I’ve read. Since I haven’t kept this answer short, I might as well add Michael Kimmelman’s The Accidental Masterpiece. An excellent book I read about a year ago.

CC: What advice would you offer to other mothers struggling to find the time and means to be more creative?
SR:
Make art before you clean the house.

CC: Thank you, Suzanne!

Debra: Open here

French packages never have helpful instructions on them, like “open here.” I might be reading too much into this, but I just spent several minutes trying to decide where a package of frozen string beans should be opened in order to be able to close it afterwards, and I found myself reminiscing about the good old days, when I lived in the U.S. and I could count on my packaged food having a nice little dotted line and a picture of scissors. I don’t know whether the French people think it’s obvious, or whether they think that deciding where to cut open your bag of string beans is a question of free will. Me, well, sometimes I just want to be told what to do.

Sometimes I wonder how much creative energy goes into simply surviving life in a foreign country. I always thought I would live in a foreign country, and France is not exactly exotic. After all, we share the same cultural heritage, at least to some extent. Yet I am constantly surprised by little things I didn’t know — anyone who has lived in a foreign language knows the strange experience of learning a new word and wondering how it was you survived that long without knowing it. I had lived in France for over a year before I knew the word for “kitchen sink.” It had just never come up.

I realized recently that I have been in denial about the challenges of life in France for a long time — I read dozens of other people’s memoirs about life in France somewhat dismissively. I thought people were too obsessive about little things, like the French fixation on preserving their language or their bureaucratic ways. But hey, I’ve discovered surprising things in France too (for one thing, I’d never seen frozen string beans before). And adapting to surprises requires a lot of creativity. It’s a lot like raising a child, really — it’s an endless process, and you can never be an expert at it. You just have to keep learning, keep adapting, and keep wondering if you’re doing the right thing. And sometimes I can’t help but wonder just how much of my creative energy is being used up figuring out things like how to open packages, whether I need to weigh my vegetables before I get to the checkout line, or what waiting lists I need to be on for daycare.

The beauty of it, of course, is that in the end it doesn’t matter where you cut open the package. However you do it, you’ll still get the string beans, and maybe that’s all that matters.