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Oct 12

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Child Time: Backward Follow-the-Leader

Here’s something fun to try the next time you’re hanging out with the kids, blissfully agenda-free. Rather than working on a particular piece with a specific outcome in mind, this is an exploration of creativity. See where it takes you. Adapted from The Mindful Child by Susan Kaiser Greenland.

Backward Follow-the-Leader:

In this version of the classic children’s game, the child participant doesn’t know that there’s a game going on. The primary “rule” of this game is that regardless of your child’s age, he or she is always the leader. The idea is that you, as Mom, simply follow along with whatever your child chooses to do, engaging in whatever conversation your child initiates, all at your child’s pace. Don’t tell your child that he or she is the leader; simply try to become totally tuned into your child’s rhythm, interests, and activities. If you have more than one child, take unspoken turns with each of your children. Try to avoid “redirecting” your child’s attention unless he or she is actually facing danger. Let go of the “shoulds” running through your head.

As mothers, our role is often that of corralling our children’s wandering minds and bodies and shepherding them through a maze of goal-directed activities dictated by schoolwork, family, and community obligations — and sticking to tight schedules. Letting go of this role, the one in which you are a cross between an army general and a personal valet, and assuming one in which your child is in control, can be difficult, exhausting, and boring. “Boring” is a word many of us feel guilty about using in connection with our kids, but to be honest, following your child’s lead can be very boring. Using tools of mindfulness, we can transform these occasionally frustrating and dull moments into an entirely different, even interesting, and extremely satisfying experience.

This piece was reprinted from the last issue of the Creative Times, our monthly newsletter.
Click here to subscribe!

Oct 10

10 Comments

Monday Post ~ October 10, 2011

“For a long time is had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
~Alfred D’Souza


What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Oct 5

7 Comments

Thinking, Feeling, and Creating

For most of us, it’s extremely difficult to separate our selves from our thoughts and our feelings. We are conditioned to believe that our thoughts and feelings are reality, and that when we don’t act on them, we are somehow being untrue to our “selves.”

But what we don’t realize is that it’s the mind’s job to churn out thought after thought — sometimes random, sometimes disturbing, sometimes completely nonconstructive. The best way to honor your self is to ask: “Is it true? Can I absolutely know that it is true?”

I’ve come to realize that all of my disturbing or upsetting thoughts fall into one of two categories: rehashing or rehearsing. It’s that simple. So when I find myself feeling anxious, stressed, or upset, I backtrack to identify the source of that unpleasant emotion. Then I can say, “Oh, there I am, rehashing what happened yesterday with my son,” or, “There I am, rehearsing what might go wrong at this week’s teleclass,” and let those thoughts go. They are just thoughts. The mind produces  thoughts, without invitation. That’s what it does.

By stepping away and inserting some space there, I am able to stay in touch with the fact that my thoughts are, as it turns out, just thoughts. They are not inherently the “truth.” It’s just my mind doing its thing, and there’s no mandate for me to participate by engaging in the next step: having unpleasant emotions. I can’t feel upset about something without first having an upsetting thought as a catalyst.

At the moment, on account of my daily meditation practice and doing “The Work” of Byron Katie (thanks to Ellen Olson-Brown and Pamela Jarboe), I am in a space where I am having a lot of fun allowing thoughts to rise and pass away.

The more I practice this, the easier it becomes, to the point that I can actually laugh at the absurdity of getting upset about someone jumping the queue at the post office or stewing over what so-and-so might or might not have meant by her ambiguous comment yesterday or what I’ll do if the conference table I ordered doesn’t arrive in time. What’s the worst that will happen? I’ll figure out a Plan B when I need to. How much of what I worry about is actually a matter of life and death? And even if it is, then what? It is what it is. I can only control myself, which starts by deciding not to be a reactive puppet to a mind that doesn’t necessarily serve my greater good — or anyone else’s.     

By choosing not to let my mind get into the driver’s seat, I’m better able to avoid driving against the traffic on a mental four-lane highway. I am able to save far more bandwidth for my family, my creative work and the other things that matter most deeply to me. Why fritter away my energies chasing imaginary wrongs and “problems”? There’s no point in messing up today by rehashing and rehearsing.

“Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it.”
~Byron Katie

What works for you?

This piece was reprinted from the last issue of the Creative Times, our monthly newsletter.
Click here to subscribe!

Oct 3

9 Comments

Monday Post ~ October 3, 2011

“I believe and know that your willingness and ability to live your creative dreams directly benefits the whole world. Every person living or actively engaged in living his or her dream is more available to be of use to others. When we are consciously expanding ourselves and our dreams, we attract and add to what is needed in this world.” ~SARK



What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Sep 29

1 Comment

Introducing the Minerva Project

The Minerva Project
It all started innocently enough. Meeting with my friend Ellen Olson-Brown. Coffee. Laptops. Good intentions about productively working side by side on our individual writing projects.

But the laptops sat closed while we blabbed and laughed and wondered. We discovered that we share similar goals: to be true to ourselves, engaged in meaningful work, and kind and nurturing to the planet and the people we love. We want to be fierce when necessary and joyful whenever possible. We want to minimize the overwhelm, and maximize peace and positivity.

We bonded over our decades of fascination with teachers, ideas, strategies, and tools that have moved us closer to those goals in our own lives. We swooned over names like Byron Katie, Tara Brach, and Shakti Gawain the way a preteen grows weak in the knees at the mention of Justin Bieber.

As we shared our passion for a life well lived, we also realized that we had highly complementary skill sets: Ellen as a teacher, me as a coach, and the two of us experienced in squeezing every drop out of the gift of being alive.

Wouldn’t it be fun, we wondered, to share what we have so gratefully learned? To help others explore our time-tested methods of becoming ever truer to ourselves and lives of meaning? Our collaboration in life design unfurled with grace and intuition.

And thus was born the Minerva Project. Won’t you join us?

Please help us spread the word by becoming a fan of our Facebook page!

Let’s Fly workshop series

October, 2011 ~ Groton, Massachusetts

We’re extraordinarily busy. We run here and there, working, crossing things off the to-do list, putting out fires. We take care of home and family. We look for ways to enjoy ourselves in the moment as the clock ticks ever faster. There is always something or someone that needs attention.

But what are we really doing?

In a safe, deeply supportive environment, you’ll use exercises and interactive strategies to define your deepest intentions, dismantle limiting beliefs, develop active authenticity, and establish and reach meaningful goals.

Take three Sunday afternoons this October to take stock with a fresh perspective and ensure that the way you spend your days, and the long list of items on your to-do list, are actually reflections of your true intentions and wildest dreams.

Workshop Details

October 16, 23 & 30, 2011
2:00 pm to 5:00 pm
Blackbird Café, 491 Main Street, Groton, Mass.

~ Café will be closed to the public
~ Plenty of free onsite parking
~ Refreshments provided

$120 payable via PayPal or check
$99 early-owl rate before October 5!

Space is limited. To register, click here.

Download a PDF flier and share it with your friends in central New England!

Sep 26

18 Comments

Monday Post ~ September 26, 2011

“Another word for creativity is courage.”
~George Prince


What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Sep 21

4 Comments

Kelly: The Importance of Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously

So, here I am in all my goofy glory. When I got home from work earlier this week, my girls decided they wanted to do a “makeover” on me. Olivia did the hair, and let me just say, it took her some time! Sarah did my makeup. It doesn’t really show up too well here, but trust me, I am all glittered up right fine and dandy. The makeover also included a foot massage with lotion and a manicure. I was not allowed to see myself until they were completely done, but I think the finished product speaks for itself. I look fabulous! They are currently taking new clients if you’d like to schedule an appointment.

I posted this picture on Facebook and received numerous comments. It’s now my new goofy profile pic. It got me to thinking about how many people would feel comfortable posting a picture like this, or any not so flattering or professional but otherwise entertaining photo, on a public site. I didn’t hesitate because, well, I’m goofy, and I’m just fine with that. Always have been and always will be. But I know that I’m connected to people on Facebook with whom I work that would be aghast at posting a picture like this. Why do you think that is?

I work in education, so yes, degrees are important and many of my colleagues list their degrees after their names in the signature lines of their e-mails. Great, if that’s your thing and you want the world to know it; you earned it, so more power to you. But I don’t, and when I think about it, I’d feel a little funny doing that. I have a Master of Arts in English degree, but that certainly doesn’t define me; it just affords me the opportunity to teach college English. I believe that what defines us is who we are at our core, and oftentimes that’s not what we present to the world. Maybe we should do that more often. Maybe if we did that, people might understand each other a little better and be more accepting of all the quirky differences that make us who we are as individuals in this big old blue world. Maybe we should worry less about what other people think about us and revel in the messiness that makes us uniquely us. Comes back to that daily dose of awesomeness I talked about in this post. We all have a daily dose of awesomeness in us somewhere; sad sometimes that it takes crazyily dressed third graders to remind us of that. Go find your awesome and share it with the world.

[Cross-posted from Artful Happiness]  

Sep 19

9 Comments

Monday Post ~ September 19, 2011

“Billions of people fool themselves every day — we do not want to number ourselves among that multitude. We want to do what’s necessary, what our work requires, what our heart and our ethics require, and not act like our insufficient effort was all that we had in us or all that was required of us today.”
~Eric Maisel


What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Sep 15

5 Comments

Christine: Creative Ritual

My fondest memories from childhood usually involve something somebody made. I remember my mom making macramé plant holders (it WAS the 70s, after all!), doing cross-stitch and needlepoint, and sewing on her old Pfaff in the cabinet in the dining room. She made my first day of kindergarten outfit (a skirt and jacket out of blue and red Holly Hobbie fabric), curtains for our house, and one summer, she sewed me an entire wardrobe of Barbie clothes! I’m sure there was at least ONE Halloween costume in there, along with numerous dance costume pieces and parts.

I was always in awe of her crafty skills, which persist to this day, as she is an avid scrapbook-, rubber stamp-, and paper-crafter. My great-aunt is a painter and sculptor, and my other great-aunt worked in ceramics as her media of choice. I remember the fantastically creative Christmas present wrappings they would make and the ceramic ornaments on the tree. As a member of a large Italian family, making things, food especially, was something that you did on a daily basis, but especially at holidays and other significant days.

There were the particular cookies at Christmas that were NEVER made any other time. Easter egg-dyeing, a very fun and creative activity, was always tradition. My mom made first-day-of-school outfits, and we made Valentines each winter. No Halloween was ever complete (nor will it ever be) without designing and carving pumpkins.


I thought about all of that this year, as I cut and sewed a dress for my middle daughter, entering kindergarten this year. There are certain things I do at certain times of the year, of life, just because “such-and-such doesn’t feel complete without X that I make.” My oldest, Kira, had a new dress for the first day of school for at least three school years, and so will Wren. When my children were born, I painted some wall art on inexpensive canvases for their nurseries. There HAD to be something I made in the nursery décor, and so there was, for each of them. When my eldest started middle school, I sewed her a purse, and when the time for the eighth-grade formal comes around this spring, I expect to sew her a dress.

For myself, it used to be (before I had kids) that for each medieval event I planned to attend, I sewed myself a new gown. New jewelry for events at work, handmade baby gifts for friends, at least one hand-created Christmas present to everyone on my gift-giving list — it’s not just something I do, it’s something I do over and over.

One of the greatest gifts I have ever received in my life has been the innate ability to create. I love that I can use my skills and talents to mark life’s big and small milestones, and to show my love for the people I adore.

How do you use your creative talents in your life? Is there any creative ritual in your “making things”?

Sep 12

8 Comments

Monday Post ~ September 12, 2011

“Just keep coming home to yourself.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.”
~Byron Katie



What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Sep 7

7 Comments

The Importance of Making Space

Making space for your creative work is almost as important as making time for your creative work. When you have a work space that feels inviting and inspiring — even if it’s just the corner of a room — turning to your creative work feels like a delightful retreat, rather than just another item on your endless “to-do” list.

In her fabulous book, The Creative Habit, Twyla Tharp notes: “To get the creative habit, you need a working environment that’s habit-forming.” When you have a space that calls to you, it’s easier to go there regularly. Regularity, as Tharp points out throughout her book (as the title would suggest), is the heart of creative output.

We all know Virginia Woolf’s famous dictum that “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” Woolf was speaking about the feminist need for independence in order to create. Most of us probably feel comparatively liberated, despite the fact that we have children and Woolf did not — but her point is well taken.

Many of us don’t have the luxury of our own room or even the corner of a room to call our own. We take over the dining table when the muse strikes and then have to dismantle the work area when it’s time to eat. If this is the case for you, brainstorm ways to make this process as user-friendly as possible.

It’s also possible that there IS a nook or cranny lurking in your home that you could claim for yourself with a bit of re-thinking. Bring your creative skills to finding a space in your home that helps you return to your creative, authentic self as seamlessly as possible. And if you’re fortunate enough to have your own space, you might spend a bit of time in the coming month editing out anything in this space that doesn’t work for you anymore. Clean it up, organize, bring in a few fresh visuals that speak to you. Make it yours. Then, dig in.

“Without the studio, however humble,
the room where the imagination can enter cannot exist.”
~Anna Hansen

What works for you?

This piece was reprinted from the last issue of the Creative Times, our monthly newsletter.
Click here to subscribe!

Sep 5

5 Comments

Monday Post ~ September 5, 2011

“Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart truly desires must come to you.”
~Shakti Gawain

 


What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” or “I will gesso three canvases” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

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