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Kelly: Disappointments and Moving Forward


Those Brave Girls…I tell ya, sometimes they really hit the nail on the head. Remember my Surrendering My Superpowers post? Where I told you I was applying for a full-time faculty position? I was a finalist for that faculty position, and I was really hopeful; I felt really good about my chances. Well, I had my final interview with our campus president on Tuesday. This morning, I learned that I was not her choice. Disappointed? Most certainly. Grateful that I still have a job I enjoy anyway? Definitely. When I got back to my office after meeting with the dean this morning, just trying to wrap my head around the fact that I would still be sitting at the same desk when Fall term starts, I tried to come out of the fog by absentmindedly checking my email. And here was my Daily Truth from the Brave Girls Club:

Dear Fantastic Girl,

Just when you think you have things figured out, even in ONE part of your life….life throws you a curveball.

This is a place where you have a wonderful opportunity…many wonderful opportunities, actually. You get to decide right here, right now…what you will do next. You get to test those amazing skills you’ve been learning about concerning the power of your choice.

You have several choices ahead of you when unexpected things happen. You can sit and cry about it, and just sit there, IN IT. You can get up and stand there, and wonder what the heck just happened…..or WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? You can stand up, dust yourself off and move forward in anger…..or you can stand up, dust yourself off…..and say “HEY, LOOK HERE! ANOTHER ADVENTURE!!! I’m going to LEARN SOMETHING NEW, GET STRONGER and find ALL SORTS OF SURPRISES ALONG THE WAY! I surrender to this!!! I am going to go with it…there’s nothing I can do to change it, so I am going to just make the most out of it! I am going to have a beautiful life anyway!”

Now, keep in mind, beautiful girl….that you can make any of those choices listed above….you can even make ALL of those choices in the very same day as you work through your unexpected bend in the road. Even if your first reaction or your first FEW reactions are reactions that you wish you could change….you still get to choose what your next reaction will be. You get to choose how you end up feeling at the end of the day….AND at the beginning of the day, no matter what is happening around you!

Just know that even if something big or small happened that feels like it’s going to derail you….or if it DID derail you…or knocked the wind out of you…..that once you get your bearings, you get to move forward and choose to make the most of it. You can, you can, you can…..because you are such a brave brave girl!

C’mon, let’s get on with your beautiful life!!!  xoxo

Now, I’ve always been a glass-is-half-full rather than half-empty kind of girl. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I fully believe that happiness is a choice, regardless of your circumstances, and I do my best to live by that. I have a good friend who was also a finalist for this position, and when I ran into her after my final interview, there was a big part of me that wanted to go right back in the campus president’s office and tell her to select my friend for the position. I have a full-time position with the college already; she doesn’t, and really needs one. Of course, the other part of me was really looking forward to the chance to have more time with my family.

So now, as the Brave Girls so eloquently reminded me, it’s time to keep moving forward. I didn’t applying for the faculty position because I did not enjoy my current role. I was applying because I wanted more time at home. I knew that if I got the position, there’d be so many things I’d miss from my current position, so now the positive is that I don’t have to miss them. I’m still here! And I’m taking four students and my family to New York City next week for a conference. That’s certainly a nice perk. So I guess, all in all, once again, God has reminded me I’m right where I’m supposed to be right now, jammed packed schedule or not.

[Cross-posted from Artful Happiness]

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Beautiful, Kelly. You continually inspire me with your ability to chose happiness. It’s that simple, isn’t it? Not *easy,* of course, but simple. Because — no offense to Gretchen Rubin, whose book I did enjoy — happiness isn’t a project. It’s a choice, as you so eloquently observe.

    Can’t wait to see what unfolds next in your adventure.

    July 26, 2011
  2. good for you in going with the flow, kelly! i had a good reminder yesterday that the path i was on was the right one and that i was pretty danged happy about it, too, even if it means my editing is slow going, etc, the fact is. we are somewhat our circumstances and somewhat our response to them. as i said in a convo with a good friend this am, ‘everyone’s sh** is brown, either you grow up and deal with it or you can wallow in it.” we got a good laugh over that, which is half the fun in dealing with.

    apologies for getting scatological about it.

    July 26, 2011
  3. Thanks guys. It’s definitely been a long, drawn out process, and I’m still working through the disappointment, but what the hey…I’m heading to NYC tomorrow with my students. 🙂 I love that quote from your convo, Cath.

    July 27, 2011

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