Alison: Confessions of a Guilty Writing Mum

• I let my children sit in front of the telly during the holidays for great swathes of time (never did me any harm — in fact it taught me about narrative, character, humour). They concentrate on educational programmes like Horrible Histories (surrealism, history) and Greatest TV Blunders (media awareness) and Come Dine with Me (wishful thinking about dinner/cookery skills).
• I tidy up by shoving everything into cupboards and closing the door very firmly by leaning on it. The estate agent who sold our last house told me a funny anecdote about everything falling out of a cupboard when the prospective buyers were taking a look. I wonder why he chose that story for me?
• In times of crisis my children look for me, not in the kitchen, but in the study.
• I’ve forgotten the names of my children (joke!).
• I do all the housework for the day in one hour, including making the dinner. Before my husband comes home I do a breakneck tidy of the kitchen in 5 mins so that it won’t look so bad when he arrives.
• My two-year-old makes his own Weetabix (awwwww).
• I burn some part of the dinner or lunch on 50% of occasions but I always get my twitter friends to remind me when I’m grilling peppers.
• My oven hasn’t been cleaned in 3 years.
• In the holidays we have ‘clothes’ days rather than ‘pajama days.’
• I fool the younger children by giving them the ‘privilege’ of hoovering or filling the washing machine.
• My children have forgotten my name (I wish).

[Cross-posted from Head Above Water]