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Cathy: Moms Who Blog

crosspost from musings in mayhem

Moms Who Blog: It sounds like a support group for mother’s who can’t help themselves from blogging, a twelve-step program.

But it’s a growing population of those of us who need to tell our stories, lament the woes and record the triumphs of our day in and day out, a way to be creative when we feel we have no mental space for thinking more deeply in order to write our great american novels or capture the image of our masterpieces, like in the days before we had children and we still had brains capable of more than routine tasks and singing Old MacDonald for the 300,000th time, or reading Tikki-Tikki-Tembo until we are blue in the face.

It seems from where I sit anyway, that there are more of us in the blogosphere than most, and fathers too, recording the amazing and most common thing humanity shares, the raising of our children.

Some of us are special needs moms, some are moms of teens, tweens or small children, some moms of blended families, some young moms, some who waited until later in life, and some of us are all of the above. And yes, I am talking about me in that last group. 🙂

We share a lot, with each other and of ourselves with the world at large. I think, besides the outlet for creativity, we do so to say, like the Whos on Horton’s dustpeck, We are here! We are here! We are here! To say, we matter, I am doing something with my life, and it’s important. We do it to say, I am not alone, are you out there, can you hear me? I want to hear your story, too!

The old trotted out line that it takes a village to raise a child is very true, and one of those reasons is to keep the mother who is caring for her kids from feelings of desperate isolation. It may be the mother who is running from work to home and racing to the store for dinner in between, who is lacking a serious connection with her friends she used to see all the time or stay up all night talking on the phone. It may be the mother who is going mental thinking the last time she had a conversation that didn’t involve diapers and their contents in graphic detail was she can’t remember when. It may be the mother who seems to have moments of sheer joy at the developmental milestone her child just sailed past, who wants to call out, Hey! Did you see that?! It may be the mother who found a moment of quiet and beauty with her child that cracked her open like an egg to the wonders of the universe.

Some people, even in this day and age, still have their coffee klatches and playdates, some of us don’t. In the twenty-first century, we have our blogs. Our neighborhood is the whole world and whoever happens to click in and say hello, I see you, and that sounds just like me! Sometimes readers click in, and if you use a tracker on your blog, you can see them and know you’ve been visited from Brazil, Ireland, Russian, Japan, or across the the US or even from the next town. I feel validated when I see my tracker or when people, I still haven’t met but who feel like friends comment. I feel like what I’m doing matters. That sometimes talking about the tougher stuff helps someone else, or sharing a joy lifts someone’s spirit. But mostly I feel like the fact that I am parenting matters. That I’m not doing it in a void. That doing what I can for my kids is the best thing I can do.

I’ll just write the great american novel later. When I’ve had some more sleep.

13 Comments Post a comment
  1. Who does coffee klatches? I barely have time to eat, and playdates never worked out for me (I work in and out of an office, I can’t take 1 – 2 hours out of a WEEKday to bring the kids to play, and weekends I clean house). So for me, blogging is the ONLY community I have. Even when I am not fully participating!

    January 7, 2010
  2. Eve #

    Hi Cathy! This was a great post! I agree, blogging is a great way to connect with the world. Sometimes, as moms we may even feel that we are going through a particular situation that isn’t normal or we may feel alone on something. By blogging It sounds that you have found that we all share a common thread with other moms and dads out there! I love blogging, and sharing my thoughts, there have been many wonderful people reading my posts and leaving comments. It truly brings a smile to my face.

    Keep it up!

    January 7, 2010
  3. Liz #

    I think ANY supportive community – whatever you can get – is A-OKAY in my book! I wouldn’t “know” all of you without the blogosphere!

    January 8, 2010
  4. i love this post when i first read it on your blog cathy. loved it again here! 🙂

    January 8, 2010
  5. thanks all, it’s great to come back from my writers’ retreat to see you’re identifying comments.

    agree with all, esp bethany saying who has time for coffee klatches!

    January 10, 2010
  6. I started blogging when my daughter was born. It was a way to write and get the thoughts out of my head.

    It’s catharsis, really.

    January 11, 2010
  7. i agree, michelle!

    January 13, 2010
  8. I totally agree, Cathy! And what you’re doing IS important!

    January 14, 2010
  9. ayelet #

    Thanks for your post.
    Blogging is empowering. freeing.

    January 15, 2010
  10. onecraftymother #

    So well said! I started a blog because so many people told me I should as a way to promote my jewelry business. I thought “who wants to read about jewelry?” but I started it anyway, thinking maybe I could talk about creativity in general. It quickly evolved into something more for me – a place to assemble my thoughts, commemorate the funny/poignant moments that otherwise would be forgotten all too soon. It is like therapy for me, now. I love the connection with other mothers who can identify with my experiences. It’s amazing, truly, to get a comment from a Mom living in the boondocks of Australia who had the same struggle with her own kid over homework that very same morning. Astonishing.

    January 15, 2010
  11. thanks everyone! i find it therapeutic and empowering and it keeps me connected with my writing and with people while toddler chasing and the rest…

    January 15, 2010
  12. Thank you for this entry. Before I became a mom, I was a sculptor working in a foundry, being super productive and full of ideas and creativity. After my two kids, there were moments when I felt isolated and useless and ashamed to still call myself an artist but blogging and starting my tiny business brought me back to myself and I have been fueled by all of the energy that I have found on Studiomothers.

    My blog: http://www.freakcycle.wordpress.com a blog about Freecycle and all the crazy and funny posts I’ve found there.

    My business: http://www.abillionhellions.com I make jewelry and clothing.

    Soon hope to start another website for my sculpture.

    January 28, 2010
  13. ah, wonderful, freakcycle! and thank you for relating to what i said.

    January 28, 2010

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