Miranda: Decision time

I have the good fortune of working from home. At least, I thought it was good fortune. But my husband and I have spent much of this holiday weekend reviewing our budget.

While I’ve continued to add more babysitting hours to each week, last month I let go of a long-term retainer client (parting was overdue) and the recent arrival of baby #5 has put a serious crimp in my work life. Sure, I can type on my laptop with one hand while nursing the little one, but I can’t attend onsite meetings and even conference calls are a major challenge. Then of course there’s the utter exhaustion occasional fatigue associated with newborn care. And if you read my previous post, you’ll know that I’m trying to focus more on my family and creativity and less on things that don’t really matter.

We can throw into this mix the budget-busting gasoline and heating oil bills we’re all well too familiar with–and the fact that everything is just more expensive than it used to be. The numbers add up to the reality that my professional life is only worth maintaining if I’m going to work at the level I’ve been working at–and then some. Scaling back means barely breaking even. The combination of my babysitter (not cheap, but excellent), my editorial assistant, the other freelancers I hire, and the regular business overhead all adds up to A LOT of money. A lot more than I realized. (Even though I’M the one who manages the finances at our house. Apparently “manages” was an overstatement of the operation.)

That said, I do need to bring in a minimum net number, however I figure out the income/expense balance. How am I going to get there? Losing my assistant is not an option I can entertain. I need her in order to maintain my two current retainer clients; if I had to do all of her work as well as my own I would have a nervous breakdown. I see that I can’t maintain the luxury of a babysitter three days a week (and she does a lot of work in the house as well). I often use babysitting time for personal writing projects, errands, exercising, and non-work-related appointments, as well as goofing off. I’ve become quite used to this convenience, but that has to go. I’m worried about how my sitter will take the news that I need to cut her hours back, but I don’t think it’s avoidable.

I have to make sense of the situation quickly, because we need to decide what we’re going to do about the contingent offer we have on new construction that comes up for renewal in one week–and our financial details are paramount. I think these are the three options:

a) Continue working at my previous level and beyond, which means soliciting more work (something I’ve never had to do before). Keep sitter three days. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: more earning potential; more flexible schedule; a bit of time for creativity, maintain professional standing and client relationships. Cons: a lot more stress; too much time away from kids; very difficult to manage with a new baby.

b) Limit work to the two current retainer clients, cut sitter down to one day and work an hour each morning while husband is home. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: less emphasis on work; lots more time with the kids. Cons: much less flexibility in scheduling; creative time evaporates.

c) Chuck the whole business, buy a smaller house, become a fulltime SAHM.

Right now I am really leaning toward the second option. I just don’t want to work like I’ve been working–not while the babies are so young. I miss how things were when my three older kids were little; for many years I didn’t work at all and was able to focus entirely on the family and house. On the other hand, downsizing with five kids (option c) would be a domestic challenge I’m not sure I’m up for.

What I want to absolutely avoid: a situation where I have lots of high-pressure work and not enough babysitting coverage. I don’t want that kind of stress, and it’s not fair to the kids.

Does anyone see any other options? Am I missing something? What would you do?