As I lie in bed last night waiting for my daughter to fall into blissful sleep, I came upon a new book idea. I love those. In fact, I might go out on a limb and say I LIVE for those moments. The story idea, the characters, the plot lines all seem so clear. So exciting. Something akin to magical. The entire story makes sense in all the right places and so easy to just sit down and write. Well, when I get up and write them.
That is, until when I actually do sit down to type/write/stutter out the fragments of the idea into something more official. Whether that be in an electronic document, piece of paper or just verbalizing it to my husband. Then… it all gets ruined. The idea suddenly becomes real and I find holes in the plot that seemed so flawless only moments before. The characters, superficial. And well the idea, just not quite where it needs to be. And, yet, I still take the time to continue writing it all down. Every piece of inspiration. Just in case I need an idea to grow into something more.
Though the doubts that start when I start writing? Never go away. In fact, I think more and more of them creep up the more I write the story. I’m convinced it has to do with the fact that I am *actually* writing and progressing and doing what I want to do. The little old thing called FEAR has weird ways of trying to ruin your plans. And right now, I’m just going to blame him for how I feel about that idea. Because the other part of my brain–the better half–still likes it. And thinks with a bit more tweaking (and letting go), the great parts of it just might come out and play. If I let it. And right now, I have nothing else to lose. Except, the excitement that is all in my head.
* So I’ve been absent forever. And so has my writing and creativity. And really, my life (thanks to an over-bearing day job). This was one of my weak attempts at more committed blogging again. And Cathy asked me me to cross post from my blog. So, I am. Thanks for the reminder Cathy. And for always reading even when I barely post.
I’m constantly coming up with new book ideas. Not that I am complaining, because one can never have too many ideas. No. This is more of a preference. Which book to I work on now? See, I’ve been working on one book idea for a while now. In fact wrote 100 pages, then scrapped them all and began another more detailed outline of the same book–but tighter, more suspense, and definitely more world building that makes the story have that much higher stakes. This story’s been with me for a while.
Now the other book–let’s call it book 2–it is a newer idea. One that I came up with during a chat with a friend not too long ago. All that came to me was a title and an image. But it was enough to fuel my imagination at 3am that night and get me out of bed. Again, I have a page of notes to start. Granted, it is nowhere near the outline the other has–but definitely enough of a plot line to get me started and get the book past the 100 page mark.
So the choice is this– book 1 or book 2?
Whenever I am starting a new book it seems that I am in this predicament. I have idea folders (yes FOLDERS) on my laptop that I go to for inspiration. Though I rarely need them. The ideas, when they’re good, don’t go away. They stick in your brain and and pick away until you write them down. Completely. Or to the point where I am with these two. Now, it is just a matter of choosing one and getting it done.
But that also means I have to give up reading for at least 6 weeks. Yep. I’m one of those, I give up one pleasure for the other. So I can focus. And I think it comes with the I’m A Mom With Little Time Role. If I am going to have free 15 minutes, I have to choose. And right now, my brain won’t let me read. I. Must. Write. But–which one?
I get ideas anytime and anywhere. This latest idea, just as I was ready to fall asleep while nursing my daughter last night. Only problem with that–is that new ideas energize me. So much so, they consume my brain and sleeping in NOT an option.
Much to my dismay, last night at midnight, I spend over an hour jotting down ideas, character sketches, plot lines I knew about, possible titles, and even a few e-mails to critique partners soliciting a few initial thoughts, etc. Well, I have 5 pages of hand written notes for a new project. One I likely will have to back burner for a while–but one I have documented enough, I can jump back in at any time. Which I love.
I can’t wait to get started!