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Posts tagged ‘Creativity’

Jul 7

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In defense of parenthood

childhood

Over the weekend, Australian newspaper The Age published a strong and concise personal essay by Damon Young on how parenthood can actually enhance creativity, rather than serve a fatal blow:

Children are valuable, not simply for their own sake (even if this is the most important reason), but for their contribution to art. Parenthood affords insights and skills for the creative life – it’s not a distraction, but an inspiration and education.

For example, as the parent of a verbose, energetic little toddler, I’m more productive than when I was single. The reason for this is simple: I’ve learned to work with less. Dealing for months on end with sporadic working hours and flagging energy, I became accustomed to opportunistic work: getting pen to paper, whenever or wherever I had the opportunity. He’s asleep in a cafe? Great, time to finish off that chapter! He’s absorbed in Lego? Brilliant, I can catch up on important emails! Put simply, parenthood has disciplined me….Parenthood is also a font of extraordinary, lingering memories. In watching my son mature, I’m constantly faced with my own childhood, and the recollections of my parents. This is an incredible resource for a writer; a continuing, shifting pageant of impression and emotion. This can be confronting, no doubt – but it’s an extraordinary creative cache.

It’s a nice confidence booster. Read the full piece here.

(That’s a photo of mine. I’m a complete amateur, but I find that digital photography is a rewarding way to blend motherhood and creativity. For more on how a pro does just that, read Bec Thomas’s interview below. And many thanks to my dear friend Toni Small, who visited recently and gave me a long-anticipated mini workshop on photographic prinicples and training the eye.)

Jun 30

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Creativity & overeating: Want to lose weight?

writing dietThis weekend I read The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size by creativity guru Julia Cameron. I’m glad I did.

Like most women who have recently delivered a baby, I’m anxious to get rid of my extra pregnancy weight. (I know Brittany shares this feeling.) It’s been 8 weeks now, and I got the all-clear from my OB at week 6. Many women seem to slim down quickly while nursing and chasing other kids around, but breastfeeding makes me voraciously hungry and I can actually gain weight despite efforts to lose. With so many positive things going on in my life right now, I’m now eager to get set on the right path with diet and exercise. I want the energy boost that comes with being in shape — and, let’s face it, I want to fit into my jeans.

I should admit, for the record, that I have always had a tortured and self-destructive complicated relationship with food. Over the years I’ve figured out what works best for me, but I often slip off track. I was glad to see that the “Clean Eating” Cameron advocates is common sense and very much my personal preference: avoid refined sugar and refined carbs, avoid processed food, focus on lean protein, drink lots of water, eat five times a day (three meals and two snacks) to keep metabolism stoked. Cameron is a little Splenda-happy for my taste, and I have no intention of eating diet Jello, but I can ignore those details. I’m also a vegetarian, so lean protein isn’t as easy as grabbing some sliced turkey, but it’s doable.

In addition to Eating Clean, Cameron lays out seven tools to enable weight loss. The primary tool — no surprise here — is Morning Pages. (For the uninitiated, Morning Pages are three longhand journal pages written every morning, as introduced in The Artist’s Way.) The genesis for “writing oneself thinner” came from Cameron’s observation of her students; adopting Morning Pages for a 12-week program resulted in visible weight loss for many. So many, in fact, that Cameron realized she was on to something.

Cameron’s premise is that overeating can block creativity, and conversely, that creativity can block overeating. I bet that many of us would agree. I’m certainly no stranger to overeating due to various unidentified reasons, or from simply stress. As potter Iris Milward observed when I interviewed her for my book, “Stress eating is when there is fear instead of creativity.”

By journaling daily, Cameron theorizes that we work through many of the issues that cause us to overeat, and significantly increase our creative bandwidth. When we spill our issues onto the page, we are less likely to try and stuff them down with food. (During periods in the past when I was religious about Morning Pages, I often noted that the process was at least as helpful as psychotherapy, and a lot cheaper. Come to think of it, I was pretty skinny then, too.)

Cameron’s second tool is a food journal. Everything you eat is recorded, along with notes about how you felt and if you were eating from hunger. I tried this yesterday, and found the process to be startlingly illuminating. I wasn’t conscious of the fact that I’d pretty much been eating all day — including lots of the junky carbs I know I should avoid. Rather than keeping a notebook, I printed out a bunch of these convenient log sheets. The result of recording what I ate, AND how I felt about it, meant that I ended up eating far less — and far better — than I usually would. Yep, gonna keep that one going.

Walking, at least 20 minutes a day, is the third tool — one that fosters creativity and well-being in addition to fitness. Exercise is obviously a crucial element in any weight-loss plan.

I won’t itemize all of Cameron’s tools, as she probably wouldn’t appreciate that, but I will say that several of them are extremely difficult to accomplish as the mother of young children. Cameron had one child, now grown, and doesn’t generally address the experience of women in the domestic trenches. Sure, I would love to be doing Morning Pages right now, but simply setting my alarm an hour earlier every day — as Cameron suggests — is untenable with a newborn. Even walking 20 minutes every day is tough; my baby wants to nurse constantly and has no established nap pattern yet. I don’t want to be a mile from the house when he starts screaming. Cameron’s suggestion of a weekly culinary date (the restaurant version of the artist’s date) is also not going to happen. Me, going off to a restaurant by myself once a week? Uhm, no. (Honestly, If my husband told me he wanted to go out to eat alone every week, leaving me and the five kids at home, I’d rip his head off be a little unhappy.)

Some of Cameron’s prose seems repetitive, rather than reinforcing, but obviously she can get away with it. There are also a lot of 12-step references, some of which seemed overdone. On the whole, this is a useful book that increases mindfulness about eating just as The Artist’s Way increases mindfulness about creativity.

I will certainly adopt the elements of Cameron’s plan that are feasible: the food journal, walking when I can (also doing some yoga & Pilates DVDs and hand weights at home), and journaling when I can. I will follow the three meals/two snacks model, although as a nursing mother I’m throwing in a bonus snack when I need it. (It’s no fun to get the shakes, as Cathy noted, and nursing mothers need to be careful about restricting calories.) I don’t know if all that is enough to make a difference, but it’s a good start. I already feel better. And is it simply a coincidence, that after my first day of Eating Clean, my baby slept through the night? Six hours straight, when the most he’d ever done before was four. If I needed even more motivation, well, there you have it. And if I end up being more creative to boot, then brilliant.

Stake in the ground: I’ve got nearly 20 pounds to lose, but I’m breaking that down. Goal #1: lose 10 pounds and redevelop some of that long-lost muscle tone.  Since muscle weighs more than fat, I’ll pay attention to how my clothes fit in addition to looking at the scale. I’m giving myself a generous 10 weeks to reach my goal: September 7. Anyone want to join me?

Jun 27

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Breakfast with Lisa

This week in our Friday series, “Breakfast” (where we get to know an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere and peek into her creative space) we break virtual bread with Lisa Damian, writer, literary critic, blogger, and mother of two young girls. Lisa is so dynamic that her personality leaps off the page, whether you’re reading her blog or the interview below. And that red hair? Oh…yeah. If only I had the guts.Lisa Damian Kidder

CC: Tell us about who you are, what you do, and your family parameters.
LD: Who am I? Good question. Still trying to figure that one out, but the evidence suggests that I am a writer and a mother (and a whole slew of other things too numerous to get into here). I have two daughters — the oldest will be five in a couple of months, and my youngest will be two in July.

I spent most of my adult life pursuing a successful career in the field of higher education administration. I’ve been employed by and consulted for colleges and universities across the country. However, after becoming a mother, I realized that the demands of an intense yet traditional career were not as rewarding as they once were, and I took some time off to focus on my family and pursue more creative interests.

CC: Tell us about your writing life and creative projects.
LD: My nonfiction local history book, Trout Valley, the Hertz Estate, and Curtiss Farm, will be released at the end of July 2008. I enjoy doing book, art, movie, and culture reviews for my blog, the Damian Daily, and for Blogcritics Magazine, and I also publish articles for various other magazines and newspapers from time to time. Lisa Damian readingI’ve dabbled in poetry, but my real passion is writing fiction. I’m currently about a third of the way through a novel.

As for other creative pursuits, I’ve been writing and dancing since I was a little girl. While working on my bachelor’s degree at UC Irvine, I crammed in as many electives as possible with courses in creative writing, art history, and film history, as well as numerous dance classes. I choreographed and performed all through high school and college. (As you can see by the photos, another way that I express my creativity is to change my look every few months.)

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
LD: The answer to that would be a ‘who’ rather than a ‘what.’ Lisa Guidarini, of Bluestalking Reader, founded the writers’ critique group in which I participate, and she has been instrumental in encouraging me along the way. One day, she said, “Lisa, you should start your own blog.” So I did.

CC: Where do you do your creative work?
LD: I have a beautiful office space at home with a gorgeous desk and a fantastic view. Every morning and evening, eight or nine deer can be seen grazing in the yard outside my office window. Lisa\'s officeI hardly ever get anything done there.

I usually smuggle my laptop up to my bedroom and close and lock the door, hiding from my husband and kids so that I can concentrate on my writing. My laptop and I can often be found at any number of nearby libraries. I hardly go anywhere without a book, a journal, and my laptop, in the hope that I will be able to sneak in even the smallest snippet of time to read, write, or frantically jot down a story or character idea when inspiration strikes.

CC: What do you struggle with most?
LD: Finding the time to write is my biggest struggle. It’s always difficult to prioritize creativity when so many other daily demands beckon. Thankfully, my husband has been hugely supportive in that realm, sometimes pushing me out the door with my laptop, knowing that I will come home a happier woman after having spent a few hours writing.

I also find it challenging to transition from one project to the next. Maintaining a fluid consistency for a paranormal fiction story, for example, while juggling reviews and journalism projects or writing nonfiction can sometimes be like trying to play different roles on the same stage. My voice and writing style vary when I am writing in different genres, and sometimes juggling multiple projects can be a distraction.

CC: How much does guilt factor in your life?
LD: Guilt used to be a major constraint for me. I felt like my career, my family, my friends, every volunteer project, the household chores, and everything else on the planet should come first, to the point where there was nothing at all left for me. I felt like my creative outlets were just that — “outlets.” What an awful word, really, when you think about it. Creative expression isn’t an outlet. It is an essential part of who we are. When I don’t make time for my creative pursuits, I am miserable, and that translates to everyone and everything around me.Lisa Damian Kidder

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
LD: My biggest source for inspiration can be found in my own dreams, or rather my nightmares. I keep a dream journal on the nightstand near my bed, so that when I wake, I can quickly scribble down story or character ideas that emerged during my REM sleep. Some of my most spooky and intriguing concepts are taken directly from my frequent and relentless nightmares. I used to consider them a source of torment, but now I see them as my muse.

CC: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?
LD: My favorite blogs are difficult to narrow down. I have favorite authors’ blogs, such as Neil Gaiman’s, and then I often visit blogs of other aspiring writers, sometimes political blogs, and frequently the blogs of friends and acquaintances. A few of the links on my Damian Daily blogroll include the Algonquin Area Writers Group (the writers group that I attend regularly), Bluestalking Reader, My Other Car is a Tardis, and of course Creative Construction.

CC: What are you reading right now?
LD: I’m always juggling multiple books at a time. I like to keep one in my laptop bag, one in the car, one by my bedside, and one in the living room, so that if I ever find myself with five free minutes, I can grab a book and read. I’m currently reading Abhorsen by Garth Nix, the third in a trilogy sent to me by Harper Collins for review. I’m also reading How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy by Orson Scott Card, Club Dead by Charlaine Harris, and a friend’s screenplay. I have a huge pile of review books to work my way through. They’re a joy, and I always get a little thrill when books arrive in the mail, but the stack grows at a pretty rapid rate.

CC: What is your greatest indulgence?
LD: My greatest indulgence is time set aside specifically to work on my fiction. A writing retreat off somewhere all by myself in a place with no distractions is my idea of sanctuary. An occasional bubble bath is a decadent pleasure now and then as well, especially when my girls don’t discover that I’m in the bath and try to jump in with me, splashing water and bubbles all over the bathroom floor.

Lisa Damian KidderCC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
LD: I would have to quote that old Nike slogan, “Just do it.” There will never be some magic sign telling you to “Be creative now, between the hours of 10:00-2:00.” Life is never going to slow down and give you permission. You have to give yourself permission to make creativity a priority.

Sometimes writing for me is more of a compulsion. I find myself up at 3:00 am writing, or unable to sleep if a story idea is churning in my head. Sometimes I think it might be easier to schedule inspiration at a more convenient time, but it doesn’t work that way. Whether it’s foregoing sleep, working around the kids’ nap times or school schedules, arranging a deal with another caregiver to watch the kids, or whatever else you can work out, you have to make the time. If you’re truly a creative person, you won’t be happy unless you make your creativity a priority.

CC: Thank you, Lisa!

Jun 26

5 Comments

Cathy: Mothering & creativity put to test

After dropping 9.75-year-old S off at taekwondo camp, I got 13-year-old K into a salon to get the cockeyed layers fixed in his long hair. Warning to other moms: if your son wants long hair, stop taking him to the barber shop, take him to the salon at a few more dollars. Barbers don’t know how to deal with long hair. He’s still pretty, even after haircut. 😉 That’s what I was trying to fix. You know how baby boomers’ parents complained their hippie boys looked like girls? Well, mine really does. Mind you, it took 2 weeks to convince him, after I blurted out at last barber visit, “either grow it for Locks of Love over the summer or chop it off now.” Evidently, that was not my best parenting moment. Thank goodness, baby C slept through this morning’s ordeal after the talk down. I swear K gets suicidal over a haircut. Anyway, mission accomplished, his hair is more skater than girlie now.

I should have eaten more breakfast: by the time we got home, I had a blood sugar crash and nearly passed out. Had the shakes while heating up frozen burritos for a protein boost lunch. Earlier, I took K out to Starbucks (how I wish there were non chain cafes here). We had some good conversation, finally, over coffeecake. As a breakfast, not great, but I really need to make special separate time with him from S on a more regular basis. We had a very interesting discussion about OPEC, supply and demand vs spec issues; and world economies, particularly the rise of a middle class in India and China and how that’s affecting the oil prices, and the fact that the Middle East’s oil supply won’t last forever, as well as oil drilling’s destruction of the Delta in Gulf of Mexico as a contribution to Katrina damages, etc. He’s really a neat guy. If he weren’t so shy about public speaking, I can totally see him run for president. He sure has strong opinions about the one that “ruined his childhood.”

I pass along evidence that they don’t stay little forever. Sigh. Oh wait, thank goodness!

So, the creativity came to play in the above: 1. finding the words and approach to talk him into neatening the mane with scissors. 2. discussion of world economics with intelligent and concerned young citizen on less than 3 hours of consecutive sleep from nursing baby C last night.

Oh, and 3. the inspiration to find the words again, to write down everything that happened for this blog. Hey, it may not be great literature, but it’s a start, and keeps me dipping into the writing well. Besides, finding the right or best words is my business, whether writing them or speaking them. It is especially important, as a parent, to find them, since each kid we have has their own best mode of communication, and we have to be available to their way, not always ours alone. K has always been like speaking with another adult, even when he was 2. With his brother S, I have to be very particular about how I say what needs to be conveyed, and with their sister, baby C, there’s a whole lot of pattycake going on.

Whether I am conscious of it happening or not at the time, I can see how my creative side is more active than I may initially have been aware.

Jun 23

6 Comments

Cathy: Joining the blogosphere

Well, Miranda, you have done it. It’s all your fault.

You’ve inspired me to blog.

When my comments are longer than some blogs I’ve seen, I know you’ve gotten me back in the habit of writing. I am very grateful. I have had ideas coming out of my ears, and much to do with mothering and creativity. Also, I find the more I’m writing — or exorcising the daily drek — the closer I feel to coming back to the projects that need the dust blown off of them. Right now my creative attention span is too short for the novels or screenplays and I don’t feel like researching and organizing and editing forty gazillion old poems. But I know I can do this. And if I blog my way out of the day to day, maybe I can blog my way back into the bigger projects. And it beats sitting down to longhand journal three pages a day by a long shot. Hold a pen and a baby? Not able to read it later. Type one-handed while nursing? Time-consuming, but doable. And I do highly recommend Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for anyone who can get past chapter 7. Not me. Not yet anyway. Writing Down the Bones is much more my speed. I find it very inspiring, and can read it in snippets. Flip it open anywhere, read a page or two or three, and you’ll likely find exactly what you need to get your writing or other creative juices flowing. Natalie Goldberg rocks!

So, this may be it. The beginning of something new, and the pruning of the paths into my brain toward the neglected novels whose windows are a bit cracked and whose corners are a mite cobwebby.

Another metaphor: I’m at the end of the diving board, bouncing slightly and inhaling deeply, waiting for the splash of cold water in my face.

When I was younger, I had this Emily Dickensonian dream of writing away in my little room, and someone coming across the treasure trove of my words after I’m gone. I’m much more realistic — and less shy — now, with a 13 year old who, like his mother, is ‘too smart for his own good’, a 9.75 year old who is the funniest kid on the planet, but not without his challenges, and a nearly 3 month old, who, of course, is the most beautiful, smartest, strongest, etc. girl ever born. Considering this is what I have to work with, besides getting back into tutoring for viable income in the near future, I gotta start somewhere, catch as catch can. Maybe it’ll help others, like all these creative blogger moms have helped me know I could do it, too.

Besides, dear Miss E D didn’t have the internet, and was a tad weirder even, than I.

Splash! The water’s fine

Jun 20

5 Comments

Breakfast with Kate

Enjoy this next installment in our weekly series, “Breakfast,” where we get to meet an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere, and enjoy a peek into her creative space. This week we have breakfast with Kate Hopper, a Minneapolis-based writer, teacher, blogger, and mother of two young girls. I stumbled upon Kate’s blog several months ago, and was delighted when she joined us here at Creative Construction. Fire up the cappuccino machine!

Kate HopperCC: Please introduce yourself.
KH: I’m a mother and writer, and I teach “Mother Words” at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. I’m married with two daughters—Stella is 4 ½ and Zoe is 3 months old. Mothering consumes most of my energy right now, and because Zoe refuses to take a bottle, I do almost everything with her latched on to my breast. I never knew how much I could accomplish while I nursed, but my back and neck are killing me.

CC: Tell us about your writing life and creative projects.
KH: I’ve written a memoir currently titled Ready for Air, about the premature birth of my older daughter, Stella. It’s an account of the final weeks of my pregnancy, the “this-was-not-part-of-the-plan” first weeks of my daughter’s life in the hospital, and the isolated, post-NICU world we inhabited after we took her home. It’s a story about the different ways men and women deal with crisis and the unexpected. It’s about the dark side of pregnancy and motherhood—the fear, the irrationality, and the psychic disruption. And finally, it is a story of faith and resolve and of learning to let go of my fear long enough to love my daughter.

I write mostly nonfiction, and have a few essays bouncing around in my head right now, but my next big project is going to be fiction (I think). It will be a series of linked stories set in a small village in Costa Rica, where I lived for a couple of years in the mid-90s. While I was down there, I recorded the life stories of three generations of women, and these stories and their voices will be the backbone of the book. (When I’m going to have time to begin this project, I’ve no idea.)

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
KH: I started a blog because I wanted a place where I could discuss writing and reading and motherhood. I post about motherhood literature and craft issues, in addition to posting about my own experiences as a writer-mother. I’ve found that blogging has been a great way for me to think more in-depth about what I’m reading and why I think literature about motherhood is so important, and it also gives me an outlet to process the issues of craft the come up in my teaching. What I didn’t expect when I started to blog was how much I’d love it. I’m so inspired by the community of artists and mothers out there, and I often turn to their words when I’m feelingKate\'s work space overwhelmed with life or frustrated that I’m not writing as much as I’d like to be.

CC: Where do you do your creative work?
KH: Before Zoe was born, I always wrote in coffee shops. I wrote most of Ready for Air at the Blue Moon and the Clicqout Club. If I get the little bugger to fall asleep in the stroller, I sometimes still get an hour of writing in at the coffee shop, but this doesn’t happen very often. It’s more difficult for me to focus on writing at home because there is always something else to do: laundry, loading the dishwasher, putting away Stella’s toys. But occasionally, I sit on the porch with my laptop, and I feel like a writer again. (But working at home means more clutter at home. Luckily, my husband is very tolerant of the piles of paper that cover our hutch and dining room table.)

CC: What do you struggle with most?
KH: Right now, time is the biggest challenge for me. I work part-time in communications in addition to everything else, and this takes up a couple of mornings a week. (These work mornings are only successful if Zoe remains asleep at the office, of course, and this only happens about 50% of the time.) I’m trying to reserve one morning a week for my own writing, but things always seem to come up. So I have three essay ideas floating around in my head, but I’ve done very little actual writing of any of them. This is tremendously frustrating for me.

Kate\'s reading spotCC: Where do you find inspiration?
KH: I always turn to literature when I need inspiration. Right now, I’m revisiting a decade of Best American Essays in an effort to find a structure that works for one of the essays in my head. I also love poetry, and often find myself anxious to get back to my own writing after I read one of my favorite poets. The other thing that both inspires me and seems to free space in my mind for writing is running. There is nothing like a long, slow run to make me feel alive and ready to write.

CC: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?
KH: It’s difficult for me to choose only five blogs that I love because there are so many. These are a few of the mother-writer blogs that inspire me:

  • Beth Kephart’s blog: Her book A Slant of Sun was one of the first memoirs I read about being a mother. She is a gifted writer whose words never fail to move me.
  • One Hand Typing: Mardougrrl is a mother who is working on a novel. She so often puts into words the frustrations and joys I’ve been feeling.
  • From Here to There and Back: I love to read Kristen’s posts about mothering her son. She has opened her life and her words to us, and I’m so thankful.
  • This Mom: No matter what she’s going through, Kyra’s writing always make me laugh and think.
  • Speak Softly: Vicki is a writer and teacher, as well, and she’s about to get her first book published!

CC: What is your greatest indulgence?
KH: Chocolate, really good wine, and going out to a nice restaurant with my husband. The wine and the dates are not common these days, but I indulge in chocolate every day. (Hmmm, perhaps that’s why the pregnancy weight isn’t coming off very quickly?)

CC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
KH: It’s not realistic for me to try to write everyday right now, but know I’m a better mother when I have a little time each week to dedicate to my work. So I would tell this mother to dedicate one morning a week to her creative work. If her child(ren) still nap, set aside one day a week that she won’t do anything around the house during nap time. If they no longer nap, she should get someone to watch the kids for a couple of hours each week. (If she can’t afford a babysitter, maybe she could swap childcare with a neighbor or friend or ask for childcare money from relatives as a birthday present.) Motherhood can be all-consuming, but I start to feel desperate if I’ve gone more than a couple of weeks without writing, and that’s not good for me and it’s not good for my children.

CC: Thanks for sharing with us, Kate!

Jun 17

3 Comments

Miranda: Creativity and a bit of green grass

Yesterday was one of those days.

My hair looked such a disaster that “bad hair day” didn’t quite cover it. “Finger in electrical socket” would have been a more accurate description. The rest of me wasn’t going to win any beauty prizes either, but I checked my ego and made it to the grocery store with my 3-year-old and 5-week old boys. While I was tanking up the little one in the parking lot, the mother of one of my daughter’s friends pulled in to the spot next to us in her black BMW. Perfectly coifed, dressed, and made up, I hoped feverently that she wouldn’t notice me. But she did, sticking her perfectly highlighted head into the passenger side window to say hello. I hope I only imagined the pity in her eyes.

Despite having nursed, the baby was unhappy while we shopped. I had to perch the infant car seat across the shopping cart so that the baby could suck on my pinky knuckle while I pulled the boys through the store at top speed. Unfortunately, the large “transition” capris I was wearing were too loose around the waist and kept falling down. I’m sure I exposed more post-partum midriff chub than anyone in the store had ever hoped to see.

Then, naturally, we got the SLOWEST cashier available—she was busy talking to another cashier and chewing her gum while I frantically threw my items onto the belt, rocking the car seat with one foot. The baby was getting frenetic, as was I. The cashier turned to me. “Aw,” she said, slowly zapping each of my 13 Balance Bars one by one, “How old is your baby?” “Well,” I wanted to say, “He’s five freaking weeks old, obviously in distress, and if you could speed it up JUST A LITTLE BIT I might be able to get out of here before I let down all over your scanner!”

We made it out to the car, loaded it up, and I fed the baby (again), even though we live .6 miles from the store. On the way home, the SUV behind us honked hard at me for no reason (he didn’t like the fact that I was turning left while using my signal?) which rattled me more than it should have. (Note to self: do not honk back and use the F word while three-year-old is in phase known as repeat-everything-Mommy-says-and-relate-story-to-Daddy-later.)

I pulled into my driveway to discover the well repair guys and their large truck; in my sleep-deprived haze I’d managed to forget the 10-12 window I’d scheduled to assess my broken sprinkler system. Luckily they had already assessed; unluckily I learned that the irrigation pump was broken but could be replaced. For $2,100.

When I started breathing again, I choked out an approval of the work order. Our house is on the market and trying to sell it with a broken irrigation system and a lot of dead grass probably wouldn’t be a plus. Not sure where the cash will come from, but that’s what visa cards are for.

I managed to get the perishables put away. While getting my three-year-old ready for his nap, I discovered that the liner bag inside the Diaper Dekor had run out and slipped down inside the bin, which meant that a week of very yucky Pull-Ups had piled up in a disgusting, stinky mess.

By the time I got things cleaned up, the baby was fussing to nurse again but I had to scoop him up and run downstairs to answer the door. It was our new real estate agent, dropping off our listing sheets. She had bad news. All of our septic records indicate that our system was installed for a four-bedroom house, not the five-bedroom house that we bought five years ago. We’re still doing research and exploring options, but the bottom line is that for now we have to market our house with one fewer bedrooms than we paid for.

While we discussed how this discrepancy hadn’t been caught by someone before, and I wondered about the economic wisdom of switching to this by-the-book-agent who had found a problem that our two previous agents had not, my fussy baby spat up over my shoulder and down the back of my shirt. The agent politely ignored the puddle of milk on the floor as she left.

What does all of this have to do with creativity? A lot. Under normal circumstances, a day like yesterday would have been enough to send me to my knees on the kitchen floor, crying while I nursed the baby on the cheap-but-decent-looking new tile we installed to help sell the house. I’m sleep deprived, hormonal, I work part-time from home, and I have five children. Who wouldn’t be crying? But I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed, or even close. Here’s why. Read more

Jun 13

6 Comments

Breakfast with Lisa

Welcome to the second installment of our new weekly series, “Breakfast,” where we get to know an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere, and be treated to a visual peek into her creative space. Meet Lisa Leonard, a self-taught jewelry designer, blogger, and mother of two boys, ages 4 and 5. Lisa’s customized jewelry is fresh, inspired, and hard to resist. Hand-stamped sterling? Love it. (Hey, if I order the “tiny squares” necklace I’ve been drooling over, can I write that off as some kind of blog-related business expense?)

CC: Please introduce yourself!Lisa Leonard
LL: I am Lisa, most of all wife and mommy, but also a sister, daughter, and friend. I love to create things that are unique and special, something that will touch your heart.

CC: How did you become a jewelry maker? What else do you enjoy creatively?
LL: I started my jewelry business after my first son was born. Over the last 5+ years it has changed in many ways. It has grown beyond my expectations, which has been so exciting and also a bit scary! My designs have also changed and evolved. I also love to take pictures, do crafts with my boys, and decorate.

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
LL: My sister started blogging and it seemed like such a great outlet for creativity and keeping in touch with friends. I have been surprised how many new friends I have made through blogging and what a connection it has been.

lisa_spaceCC: Where do you do your creative work?
LL: I work from home and it is certainly nothing fancy! I started the business so I could be close to my boys, so working from the kitchen table [click on photo for larger image] or kitchen counter make the most sense.

CC: What do you struggle with most?
LL: Balance is always a challenge. I thought working from home would be perfect, but then I starting feeling pulled between the boys and the mountains of work to be done. After a major meltdown I realized I needed help. At first I thought about hiring a sitter, but that meant less time with the boys. So I hired someone to help with the business. It was hard to let go, but it has been great for my sanity and for the business.lisa_leonard_necklace

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
LL: I feel like inspiration hits me all the time! It can come from other artists, such as painters, seamstresses, or poets. It often comes from nature…shells, sand, blue sky, or trees. Sometimes it comes from random things like the light through a window or two colors next to each other.

CC: What are your top 5 favorite blogs?
LL: I love: Tara Whitney, Sarah Markley, SouleMama, Flip Flops and Applesauce, and Bling.

CC: What is your greatest indulgence?
LL: Man, I love a good pedicure. I get a couple every month and it’s my guilty pleasure. I also love time with my girlfriends, watching movies, reading magazines, sitting in the sun, and a gooey chocolate chip cookie.

CC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
LL: Have fun with it! Start small and let it grow. Find something you love and do it a little every day. Always think of ways to make it more yours and more unique.

CC: Thanks, Lisa!

Jun 9

1 Comment

News Tribune: The art of being a mom

dancing_momThe News Tribune online profiles four Tacoma, WA-based mothers with arts careers (a dancer, a photographer, a pianist, and a director) to explore “what it’s like to juggle two demanding passions: your children and your art. For each, patience and creativity come into play.” Says one mother:

“Being in any of the arts is all-consuming. You’re always trying do things with the music, to think about it. When I became a mother, I didn’t have that luxury to think about it all the time. My daughter was my priority now, and music started to take a back seat – and what I learned was to be more spontaneous. You have to think faster, because you have a performance in a few days and you can’t practice hours and hours anymore! It taught me to have a little more fun, not to worry about every little thing.”

An interesting take on how women in various disciplines manage life and art. You can read the full piece here. (Photo by Janet Jensen, The News Tribune.)

Jun 6

5 Comments

Breakfast with Bethany

Introducing our new weekly series, “Breakfast,” where we get to know an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere, and be treated to a visual peek into her creative spaces. Our inaugural mom? Bethany Hiitola, “Mommy by day, writer by night.” Bon appétit! bethany_hiitola

CC: Who are you? Family inventory?
BH: Now if that isn’t a loaded question! The simple (and short) answer—a woman. Though, I know you were looking for something like the long answer. Which is inevitably more complicated. I’m still trying to find that “right” mix being a woman with life ambitions, a day job, a husband, children, pets, a house caretaker…all that stuff and balancing it somehow. Which, at this point, I think is a pipe dream sorta goal. Balance is a fictitious beast. Something always throws life in array. It’s how you react. So, I guess I am working on that. And being a good wife, mother, person. While writing a bestselling novel. I dream big, what can I say?

The hard stats are simple: I am a wife of one (34-year-old husband), mother to two (5-year-old son, 9-month-old daughter), caretaker to our pets (2 cats, 1 dog, and some rotating fish that live in a tank in my son’s room).

bedroom_deskCC: Tell us about your creative self.
BH: I’ll confess this now: I’m not a scrapbooker type person. Can’t get into it, really. Those stamping things, to make the greeting cards? Not me either. Painting? Ha! Really, my son can do better. Especially with the drawing part too. But that part of me that lived in a closet since high school? Ahhh, yes, the stuffing of the dream to write fiction into some locked dungeon. Long story.

I had to go to college and come out after 4 years with a piece of paper and some way to get gainful employment. Through all of that my “fun” writing (fiction) got lost because I was told I’d never make money doing it. Or at least that’s what my impressionable 17-year-old ears absorbed. So, I got a degree, found a gig writing, but it was for technical manuals and computer parts no one ever reads manuals for. Until I became a mom. And then suddenly this need to start doing something I enjoyed came to the forefront.

So, lunch breaks, 15 minutes of baby naptime (I worked from home until my son was 2), the doctor’s office waits—all spent writing. Sometimes in napkins, on scraps of paper, notebooks, my laptop…well, you get the idea. I write whenever and wherever I can. Big dream goal—novels.

But I am also an avid blogger, I love Twitter, I write book reviews, you can find me all over social networking spaces…and quite frankly, if I could find someone to pay me to do all that stuff (for their company or otherwise), I’d do it. Love it. Gets more of my business marketing brain spinning with new ideas, too. And that helps me all around in the whole “getting your name out there.”

CC: What are you working on?
BH: I write novels. I have two in the hopper right now. One I am going to let rest for a while (been through a few rewrites and the story is getting stale) and another new one that I’m just starting to think about. To the point that I’ll have to start writing all the time soon to get it outta my head.

POSTPARTUM EUPHORIA is the first free PDF/e-Book I offer on my website, and I’m working on another! It doesn’t quite have a title yet, but it’s about a mom that uses her magic again. After a really (really) long time, and the little hiccups that go along with it. It’s fun, short, and hopefully a bit of fun to offer regular readers of my blog (and bring new readers to the site). Not to mention show off what I can do.

living_roomLIFE AS GRETA is a serial fiction column I write in conjunction with Hybrid Mom and it is totally fun. Sorta like a choose your own adventure thing–and I add to it weekly/biweekly and readers get to offer opinions about where the story is going. Nothing like writing 500 words a week under pressure! I’ve loved the idea of serial fiction for a long time, I’m just happy I finally found a place online willing to give it a shot!

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
BH: I jumped on the bandwagon way back when (dates are fuzzy). And then I dropped it. Then again. And same result. Do that about three times and then I finally stuck with it. About the same time I became serious about my writing again. Purchased my domain and figured, what better way to show the world what I can do—and that’s write. I’ve been at it ever since.

The blog worked a bunch better when I was focused—thus its name: Mommy Writer. I write about being a mom, my kids, my life, writing, reading, publishing, more about my family, and then about small things that interest me online. Mostly, I’d say I’m a mom blogger with a slant to reading and writing. That sums up me. So I’m okay with what it stands for.

Truthfully, it is my warm up writing for the day. Or wind down, depending on how my day went with the kids and job. But I use the blog as a space to exercise the writing muscle. If I don’t get to write in my book, but spent 15 minutes on a blog post, at least I wrote. Some authors would say that is counter-productive, that 15 minutes could have been spent on the novel! But for me…I need to write what is on my mind first, in order to focus on the book. Without blogs, I always journaled before jumping into my latest writing project.

I’d like to think my audience is other mothers or dads, other writers, women in general. But it’s so hard to tell these days. Right now, one of the most searched terms that trigger one of my posts is: reasons not to go to work. So, who really knows who’s reading!

CC: How do you juggle a day job outside the home, two small children, a house, a marriage, AND creativity?
BH: My life is a constant balancing act. Even though I, too, get to work from home part time sometimes. Though lately… not so much. I write a ton at night. And that is when the ideas are flowing. Which, unfortunately, they aren’t right now. During these times, I stuff in a blog post during my day and hope tomorrow I have more to write about.

My husband is supportive. But mostly, if my writing doesn’t interrupt family too much. And that’s because my day job tends to bleed into home life often enough. Don’t get me wrong, someday I hope to write more than my day job. And when that happens, he’ll deal with it. (grin)

kitchenCC: Where do you do your creative work?
BH: Well here’s the low-down on where I write, but you’ll often find me writing WHEREVER I can (including in the car, doctor office, in line at the grocery store, or sending myself voicemails on my cell phone)! Yes, I am one of those…

At home, I am usually writing at my desk–though it never looks that clean. Especially since my daughter was born. I can hear her through the monitor best there. But pre-her birth…and whenever I have the house to myself (ha! Like THAT happens)…you can find me at the kitchen table or on the couch in the living room. As the weather gets ideal in the Midwest, I hope to spend a couple evenings on the back patio with a glass of wine (or three). Well, that is whenever we replace our umbrella that snapped in the last thunderstorm and dress up the table in all that Target Outdoor Life Goodness.

CC: What do your weekends look like?
BH: My weekends are like anyone else, I would imagine. At least if you are a mother. Breakfast making, family get-togethers, soccer games, sleeping late (well past 6 am, I like to hope), family time, etc. Sometimes, on rare occasions, I get to write for uninterrupted time (unlike during the week when I squeeze it in at night or around everyone else’s schedule) and my husband will take the kids. But that is typically if I am under some deadline or I am really in a story and I just “need” the time. But rare that is! My daughter is 9 months old now… I have yet to have one of these breaks (can you give my husband a nudge for me? wink, wink. Nod, nod).

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
BH: My over-extended life. My kids. Really… I write about what it is like to go nuts in love with your kids but have days where you wonder what the hell you did to get where you are NOW in life. Whether that is working a day job with kids, married, suburbia, motherhood, whatever…. it keeps me sane knowing that I am not alone. So I create characters that struggle with the same stuff I do.

CC: What do you struggle with most?
BH: Time. I manage it well (or so I am told). I mean, I guess I would have to in order to keep my family in line, hold a day job, keep a somewhat clean house (just don’t go look in my closet!), and still be able to blog regularly and write novels. But I still crave time. Specifically, uninterrupted time that isn’t at 2 am and can afford me time to write and still sleep a full 6 hours (or 8).

backyardCC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
BH: Oh boy. This is tough. I mean, as a mother, particularly of young children, there is never a moment of uninterrupted thoughts. They consume you for the first few years. Advice? Just do it. Don’t think about doing it, talk about doing it, or make plans you’ll never keep. Just do it. If it is at 2 am (like me), go ahead. No one is stopping you but yourself. Did that just sound like an infomercial for a self-help book? Wait! Maybe I have missed my calling!

Seriously, there’s no magic to any of this. Just get up and try it out. Don’t like it, try something else. And eventually, you’ll find the fun creative activity you love and you’ll do it. And love it. Even if it is scrapbooking. Or stamping. Or sewing. Or playing the piano. All of which I am terrible at (in fact never touched a piano in my life to actually play a thing)—but would love to actually DO if it were my thing. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I found the “thing” for me—a long time ago—just didn’t go for it til now.

CC: Thanks for talking with us, Bethany! We look forward to hearing more from you soon.

You can learn even more about Bethany by reading her Creative Construction blog posts!

May 29

10 Comments

Online Inspiration: Design for Mankind

Periodically, we post reviews of online sources of inspiration: websites and blogs that encourage creativity and connect creative souls. If you’d like to suggest a favorite site for a future profile, please e-mail your pick to creativereality@live.com.

erinSometimes you meet someone online who is so obviously cool that you wish you could sit down and have a latte together posthaste. That’s how I felt when Erin Loechner responded to my profile request. I’d stumbled across Erin’s blog, Design for Mankind (via a post at Creative Every Day) and was blown away by her beautiful, free eZine, Inspiration. Both publications are appealing explorations of creativity and creative people.

Erin describes herself as “a 24-year-old Midwesterner living in Los Angeles with a passion for reading, writing and [not] arithmetic.” (OK, so if I was 24, artsy, and living stroller-free in LA, I might have a shot at being cool too…hey, a girl can fantasize, right??) Erin may be younger than many of this blog’s regular readers, but you’ll find plenty of inspiration in her blog and work. Here’s what Erin has to say about her creative life.

CC: What led to the creation of your blog?
EL: I began Design for Mankind almost a year ago for absolutely selfish reasons. Living in LA has its perks, but community is one thing that I had struggled with. It was so difficult to meet like-minded people when I spent the majority of my day plugging away at an ad agency and spending time with my husband at night. I’ve always been a blogger (I started a personal blog in 2001), so I thought I’d channel my love for art and design and seek to build a community of individuals in need of inspiration [much like myself!]. The blog has grown immensely from there, and I’m so grateful to my readers for its success!

CC: And how about the eZine?inspiration
EL: The eZine was one of those light-bulb moments. Last December I was finding very little inspiration in print and was discouraged—after all, as fantastic as the web is, I love something tangible to flip through and make notes on. My magazines just weren’t doing the trick anymore and I wanted to know more about what “normal” people were like, rather than executive editors of million-dollar corporations.

The eZine launched in January of 2008 with a glance at the inspiration boards of various artists/designers and has since grown into a monthly topic to ponder and be inspired from. It has been an incredible tool in meeting new and creative individuals and has been such a fun project for me to work on. I’m excited for the coming months, as the eZine has been shaping itself into a very powerful gift. I can’t wait to see how it grows!

CC: With a fulltime job and a marriage, where do you find time for creativity?
EL: Ahhh, precisely my dilemma. I recently resigned from my position (in April, actually!) and am now a full-time blogger. I found that I was encouraging so many of my readers to take time out for creativity and wasn’t practicing what I preached. Thankfully, my advertisements will supplement my income for now (I live very simply).

CC: What are your personal creative projects (aside from the blog)?
EL: I’m learning to illustrate! It’s such an exciting experience, really. I know nothing of how to create art and am not a very crafty person, but am so inspired by artists like AshleyG and Keri Smith who have found their own way to create something beautiful.

CC: How do you organize (share) the Dailies on your blog?
EL: I like to keep the Dailies well-rounded and offer a peek into the lives of bloggers/artists/designers that are very well known (Irene from Bloesem, Victoria from SFGirlbyBay, Mav from Port2Port Press, Stephanie Congdon Barnes, Lisa Solomon, and the like). But, I always balance that out with those smaller folk who I feel should have a light shed onto their work. I featured Vic from Lost today (a fantastic Aussie blog) as a tribute to hard-working bloggers who feature great content and aren’t always given credit for that.

CC: What do you do in terms of marketing/promotion for your blog (if anything)?
EL: You know, I’m actually not so good at this part. I’m a natural socialite, so I love commenting on other bloggers’ posts, and I think that sort of established relationship does the marketing for itself. I’d hate to “use” other blogs to self-promote Design for Mankind, so I like to keep things solely based on friendships and not so much on the PR side of things. I’m a firm believer that things will unravel the way they are meant to, and I try to let nature run its course on the blog—whichever direction that may be!

CC: How do you find all the cool people, resources, and things you write about? (Or do you just know ALL the cool people online due to your natural coolness??)
EL: Ha. You’re sweet! I’m a digger. I LOVE research and find new artists in the most unexpected places. A good rule of thumb for me is to ALWAYS check out links from other artists/designers’ sites. Chances are, if you love the artist, you’ll love their friends.

CC: How is your Etsy store doing?
EL: Eh. It’s OK. I don’t pay much attention to it, to be honest. The posters were something that came from a few readers requesting a copy of a graphic I had designed for the second issue of the eZine. I wanted to make them available for everyone, so the Etsy store was the easiest solution. It’s been a learning experience—I’ve lost a bit of money in the process, but you’ll have that. The main thing I like to keep in mind is that inspiration begets inspiration, so the act of producing something tangible and offering it to a wider audience can only come full circle!

CC: Great to meet you, Erin–thanks for the inspiration!

May 26

8 Comments

Miranda: Decision time

I have the good fortune of working from home. At least, I thought it was good fortune. But my husband and I have spent much of this holiday weekend reviewing our budget.

While I’ve continued to add more babysitting hours to each week, last month I let go of a long-term retainer client (parting was overdue) and the recent arrival of baby #5 has put a serious crimp in my work life. Sure, I can type on my laptop with one hand while nursing the little one, but I can’t attend onsite meetings and even conference calls are a major challenge. Then of course there’s the utter exhaustion occasional fatigue associated with newborn care. And if you read my previous post, you’ll know that I’m trying to focus more on my family and creativity and less on things that don’t really matter.

We can throw into this mix the budget-busting gasoline and heating oil bills we’re all well too familiar with–and the fact that everything is just more expensive than it used to be. The numbers add up to the reality that my professional life is only worth maintaining if I’m going to work at the level I’ve been working at–and then some. Scaling back means barely breaking even. The combination of my babysitter (not cheap, but excellent), my editorial assistant, the other freelancers I hire, and the regular business overhead all adds up to A LOT of money. A lot more than I realized. (Even though I’M the one who manages the finances at our house. Apparently “manages” was an overstatement of the operation.)

That said, I do need to bring in a minimum net number, however I figure out the income/expense balance. How am I going to get there? Losing my assistant is not an option I can entertain. I need her in order to maintain my two current retainer clients; if I had to do all of her work as well as my own I would have a nervous breakdown. I see that I can’t maintain the luxury of a babysitter three days a week (and she does a lot of work in the house as well). I often use babysitting time for personal writing projects, errands, exercising, and non-work-related appointments, as well as goofing off. I’ve become quite used to this convenience, but that has to go. I’m worried about how my sitter will take the news that I need to cut her hours back, but I don’t think it’s avoidable.

I have to make sense of the situation quickly, because we need to decide what we’re going to do about the contingent offer we have on new construction that comes up for renewal in one week–and our financial details are paramount. I think these are the three options:

a) Continue working at my previous level and beyond, which means soliciting more work (something I’ve never had to do before). Keep sitter three days. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: more earning potential; more flexible schedule; a bit of time for creativity, maintain professional standing and client relationships. Cons: a lot more stress; too much time away from kids; very difficult to manage with a new baby.

b) Limit work to the two current retainer clients, cut sitter down to one day and work an hour each morning while husband is home. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: less emphasis on work; lots more time with the kids. Cons: much less flexibility in scheduling; creative time evaporates.

c) Chuck the whole business, buy a smaller house, become a fulltime SAHM.

Right now I am really leaning toward the second option. I just don’t want to work like I’ve been working–not while the babies are so young. I miss how things were when my three older kids were little; for many years I didn’t work at all and was able to focus entirely on the family and house. On the other hand, downsizing with five kids (option c) would be a domestic challenge I’m not sure I’m up for.

What I want to absolutely avoid: a situation where I have lots of high-pressure work and not enough babysitting coverage. I don’t want that kind of stress, and it’s not fair to the kids.

Does anyone see any other options? Am I missing something? What would you do?

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