Breakfast with Bethany

Introducing our new weekly series, “Breakfast,” where we get to know an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere, and be treated to a visual peek into her creative spaces. Our inaugural mom? Bethany Hiitola, “Mommy by day, writer by night.” Bon appétit!

CC: Who are you? Family inventory?
BH: Now if that isn’t a loaded question! The simple (and short) answer—a woman. Though, I know you were looking for something like the long answer. Which is inevitably more complicated. I’m still trying to find that “right” mix being a woman with life ambitions, a day job, a husband, children, pets, a house caretaker…all that stuff and balancing it somehow. Which, at this point, I think is a pipe dream sorta goal. Balance is a fictitious beast. Something always throws life in array. It’s how you react. So, I guess I am working on that. And being a good wife, mother, person. While writing a bestselling novel. I dream big, what can I say?

The hard stats are simple: I am a wife of one (34-year-old husband), mother to two (5-year-old son, 9-month-old daughter), caretaker to our pets (2 cats, 1 dog, and some rotating fish that live in a tank in my son’s room).

CC: Tell us about your creative self.
BH: I’ll confess this now: I’m not a scrapbooker type person. Can’t get into it, really. Those stamping things, to make the greeting cards? Not me either. Painting? Ha! Really, my son can do better. Especially with the drawing part too. But that part of me that lived in a closet since high school? Ahhh, yes, the stuffing of the dream to write fiction into some locked dungeon. Long story.

I had to go to college and come out after 4 years with a piece of paper and some way to get gainful employment. Through all of that my “fun” writing (fiction) got lost because I was told I’d never make money doing it. Or at least that’s what my impressionable 17-year-old ears absorbed. So, I got a degree, found a gig writing, but it was for technical manuals and computer parts no one ever reads manuals for. Until I became a mom. And then suddenly this need to start doing something I enjoyed came to the forefront.

So, lunch breaks, 15 minutes of baby naptime (I worked from home until my son was 2), the doctor’s office waits—all spent writing. Sometimes in napkins, on scraps of paper, notebooks, my laptop…well, you get the idea. I write whenever and wherever I can. Big dream goal—novels.

But I am also an avid blogger, I love Twitter, I write book reviews, you can find me all over social networking spaces…and quite frankly, if I could find someone to pay me to do all that stuff (for their company or otherwise), I’d do it. Love it. Gets more of my business marketing brain spinning with new ideas, too. And that helps me all around in the whole “getting your name out there.”

CC: What are you working on?
BH: I write novels. I have two in the hopper right now. One I am going to let rest for a while (been through a few rewrites and the story is getting stale) and another new one that I’m just starting to think about. To the point that I’ll have to start writing all the time soon to get it outta my head.

POSTPARTUM EUPHORIA is the first free PDF/e-Book I offer on my website, and I’m working on another! It doesn’t quite have a title yet, but it’s about a mom that uses her magic again. After a really (really) long time, and the little hiccups that go along with it. It’s fun, short, and hopefully a bit of fun to offer regular readers of my blog (and bring new readers to the site). Not to mention show off what I can do.

LIFE AS GRETA is a serial fiction column I write in conjunction with Hybrid Mom and it is totally fun. Sorta like a choose your own adventure thing–and I add to it weekly/biweekly and readers get to offer opinions about where the story is going. Nothing like writing 500 words a week under pressure! I’ve loved the idea of serial fiction for a long time, I’m just happy I finally found a place online willing to give it a shot!

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
BH: I jumped on the bandwagon way back when (dates are fuzzy). And then I dropped it. Then again. And same result. Do that about three times and then I finally stuck with it. About the same time I became serious about my writing again. Purchased my domain and figured, what better way to show the world what I can do—and that’s write. I’ve been at it ever since.

The blog worked a bunch better when I was focused—thus its name: Mommy Writer. I write about being a mom, my kids, my life, writing, reading, publishing, more about my family, and then about small things that interest me online. Mostly, I’d say I’m a mom blogger with a slant to reading and writing. That sums up me. So I’m okay with what it stands for.

Truthfully, it is my warm up writing for the day. Or wind down, depending on how my day went with the kids and job. But I use the blog as a space to exercise the writing muscle. If I don’t get to write in my book, but spent 15 minutes on a blog post, at least I wrote. Some authors would say that is counter-productive, that 15 minutes could have been spent on the novel! But for me…I need to write what is on my mind first, in order to focus on the book. Without blogs, I always journaled before jumping into my latest writing project.

I’d like to think my audience is other mothers or dads, other writers, women in general. But it’s so hard to tell these days. Right now, one of the most searched terms that trigger one of my posts is: reasons not to go to work. So, who really knows who’s reading!

CC: How do you juggle a day job outside the home, two small children, a house, a marriage, AND creativity?
BH: My life is a constant balancing act. Even though I, too, get to work from home part time sometimes. Though lately… not so much. I write a ton at night. And that is when the ideas are flowing. Which, unfortunately, they aren’t right now. During these times, I stuff in a blog post during my day and hope tomorrow I have more to write about.

My husband is supportive. But mostly, if my writing doesn’t interrupt family too much. And that’s because my day job tends to bleed into home life often enough. Don’t get me wrong, someday I hope to write more than my day job. And when that happens, he’ll deal with it. (grin)

CC: Where do you do your creative work?
BH: Well here’s the low-down on where I write, but you’ll often find me writing WHEREVER I can (including in the car, doctor office, in line at the grocery store, or sending myself voicemails on my cell phone)! Yes, I am one of those…

At home, I am usually writing at my desk–though it never looks that clean. Especially since my daughter was born. I can hear her through the monitor best there. But pre-her birth…and whenever I have the house to myself (ha! Like THAT happens)…you can find me at the kitchen table or on the couch in the living room. As the weather gets ideal in the Midwest, I hope to spend a couple evenings on the back patio with a glass of wine (or three). Well, that is whenever we replace our umbrella that snapped in the last thunderstorm and dress up the table in all that Target Outdoor Life Goodness.

CC: What do your weekends look like?
BH: My weekends are like anyone else, I would imagine. At least if you are a mother. Breakfast making, family get-togethers, soccer games, sleeping late (well past 6 am, I like to hope), family time, etc. Sometimes, on rare occasions, I get to write for uninterrupted time (unlike during the week when I squeeze it in at night or around everyone else’s schedule) and my husband will take the kids. But that is typically if I am under some deadline or I am really in a story and I just “need” the time. But rare that is! My daughter is 9 months old now… I have yet to have one of these breaks (can you give my husband a nudge for me? wink, wink. Nod, nod).

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
BH: My over-extended life. My kids. Really… I write about what it is like to go nuts in love with your kids but have days where you wonder what the hell you did to get where you are NOW in life. Whether that is working a day job with kids, married, suburbia, motherhood, whatever…. it keeps me sane knowing that I am not alone. So I create characters that struggle with the same stuff I do.

CC: What do you struggle with most?
BH: Time. I manage it well (or so I am told). I mean, I guess I would have to in order to keep my family in line, hold a day job, keep a somewhat clean house (just don’t go look in my closet!), and still be able to blog regularly and write novels. But I still crave time. Specifically, uninterrupted time that isn’t at 2 am and can afford me time to write and still sleep a full 6 hours (or 8).

CC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
BH: Oh boy. This is tough. I mean, as a mother, particularly of young children, there is never a moment of uninterrupted thoughts. They consume you for the first few years. Advice? Just do it. Don’t think about doing it, talk about doing it, or make plans you’ll never keep. Just do it. If it is at 2 am (like me), go ahead. No one is stopping you but yourself. Did that just sound like an infomercial for a self-help book? Wait! Maybe I have missed my calling!

Seriously, there’s no magic to any of this. Just get up and try it out. Don’t like it, try something else. And eventually, you’ll find the fun creative activity you love and you’ll do it. And love it. Even if it is scrapbooking. Or stamping. Or sewing. Or playing the piano. All of which I am terrible at (in fact never touched a piano in my life to actually play a thing)—but would love to actually DO if it were my thing. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I found the “thing” for me—a long time ago—just didn’t go for it til now.

CC: Thanks for talking with us, Bethany! We look forward to hearing more from you soon.

You can learn even more about Bethany by reading her Creative Construction blog posts!