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Mother Writer Interviews: Jane Rusbridge

[This article is generously cross-posted from Alison Wells’s blog, Head above Water.]

Alison Wells: My four children are between 10 and 3 years old. As a novelist and short story writer, I was interested to find out how other women writers with young children manage their writing time and find creativity among chaos. In this series of interviews we hear from writers from Ireland, England, France, the US, and Australia who are at various stages in their writing careers.

Jane Rusbridge lives near in a tiny village in the South Downs, West Sussex. She has been Associate Lecturer of English at the university in Chichester for more than 10 years. Her debut novel, The Devil’s Music, was published by Bloomsbury in 2009 and was longlisted for this year’s International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award. Bloomsbury will publish a second novel, Rook, in 2012.

How many children do you have and in what age range?

I have three daughters: Katie, 28, Stephanie, 26 and Natalie, 22, and also a stepson, Sam (25) and a stepdaughter, Rose (22).

Had you established your writing regime before the children or did it happen alongside them?

I was a primary school teacher, but went back to university in my late thirties when my youngest started school because I’d always wanted to do an English degree. That’s when I started writing. I loved every aspect of the degree: books, books, books! It took 6 years, part-time; studying had to fit around work — I ran my own preschool group for four year olds — and the children. My divorce happened during that time, which was unsettling for the children, so I didn’t use any form of childcare. The children were all teenagers by the time I’d finished. The degree was something I was doing just for me, my dream, so everything else always took precedence.

What impact has having children had on your writing career?

To begin with, any writing had to fit into ‘spare’ time, squeezed in between work and family commitments. With 5 children this involved quite a bit of juggling and sometimes months went by when no writing got done. However, winning the university prize for creative writing was a big turning point which gave me enough confidence to start to send work out. Gradually, writing became more than a ‘hobby,’ more than just ‘fun.’ It got serious! All the same, writing was still something I did only for myself and so always came last on my list of priorities. The Devil’s Music took a very long time to write: 7-8 years at least.

How have you organised your writing time and space?

About 10 years ago, when the house was still filled with teenagers, my husband bought me a shed which we put at the bottom of the garden. I painted it blue. Having a special place away from the general hubbub of family life and allocated to my writing made a huge difference in two ways. Firstly, writing took on more importance — the blue shed was there for only one reason: for me to write. Secondly, the walk down the garden to my shed removed me, mentally, emotionally and physically, from the house where there was always washing to put in the machine, food to cook, family mess to tidy. Once I was in the shed, I was there to write and think; nothing else.

These days, with the children now adults and only Natalie living at home, I am able to devote much more time to writing and writing-related activities: research, organizing and travelling to events, social-networking. My writing career is pretty near the top of the priority list now. I teach much less, just the occasional freelance workshop and only part-time at the university. Nevertheless, it’s easiest to manage everything if I stick to a routine, so I set aside big chunks of time — whole days — for writing. A novel is a very big ‘thing’!

Is it possible to maintain a balance on a daily basis or do you find yourself readjusting focus from work to family over a longer time-span depending on your projects?

Family life is very important to me — my children all live close by and we see all lot of them. I do manage a balance but perhaps because writing is (mostly) unpaid work and it’s also work from home, there’s still that difficulty of writing not quite being considered a ‘proper’ career in other people’s eyes in the way a 9-5 office job would be. When I had small children at home I used to welcome anyone dropping in for tea or coffee at any time — not now! I’ve had to be firm with friends and make that clear. Not always easy! Quite a lot of compromise is necessary: there’s a tension between wanting to spend more time writing and the need to spend time with family and friends or to carry out practical tasks involved with running a home. I do much less housework than I used to. If I need a mental break from writing I’ll get the Hoover out or clean a bathroom — but writing takes precedence. That’s a reversal: writing used to be left until housework and everything else was done.

How do the children react to your writing or the time you spend on it?

They’ve always been supportive, even when they were tiny. We’ve always read to them a lot so they all value books and stories. They were very excited about my novel being published — I think they thought I’d suddenly become famous!

What do you find most challenging in juggling your role as a mother, your writing and university work?

The desire to write, to talk or think about my writing all the time, is very strong, but I’m aware it’s also pretty antisocial. I censor myself sometimes, so that my husband and the children don’t get bored with me wittering on. Luckily, because I teach creative writing, that’s a good outlet for lots of talk about books, reading and writing.

What was your proudest moment?

My proudest moment was a couple of weeks after I sent out the manuscript for The Devil’s Music to three agents: two of them phoned to say they were interested. I cried!

At what stage of your writing and family life did the agent representation for The Devil’s Music happen and what was the build up to it?

In 2006, I had a lucky year and I won prizes in several short story competitions. A chapter of The Devil’s Music was published in the Children’s Voices issue of Mslexia and editor Jill Dawson made some lovely comments about my writing. However, after almost 5 years, the 80,000 words I’d written of The Devil’ Music were still all over the place. I began to think maybe I couldn’t write a novel after all.

By coincidence, or perhaps synchronicity, one of the prizes I won was an Arvon course, tutored by Jill Dawson, with her friend Kathryn Heyman. On this course we were asked to set ourselves a series of goals to achieve within a certain timeframe. I gave myself one year to finish The Devil’s Music, or accept I was a short story writer, not a novelist. Kathryn Heyman liked what she saw of TDM at Arvon and offered to mentor me.

Gut instinct told me this might be my lucky break, that this could be the time to give writing priority in my life. By this time, two of our children were at university and, although the others were still at home, I was no longer tied to school runs and after school activities. My husband had started to do a lot of the cooking. I made two big decisions: to take six months off work (I’m an Associate Lecturer at Chichester University) and to spend a chunk of my savings on a mentor.

I’m so glad I did. In 2007, before my one year deadline was up, not only was The Devil’s Music finished, but two of the three agents I sent the manuscript to, phoned to say they were keen to take it on. This was my most joyous moment — and exciting beyond words! Every morning for weeks I woke up not quite believing it was true, and walked around with a big grin on my face.

Devil’s Music took almost 8 years to write. How did you hold onto the story of your novel and maintain the drive for that particular novel such a long period?

Working on something as large scale as a novel, with only squeezed-in bits and pieces of time for writing fitted between work and children and running a home, is undoubtedly hard in many respects, but I needed to take that long to write The Devil’s Music. Even when you’re doing something else and not consciously thinking about writing, what you’re working on never leaves you, does it? It’s always ticking over in your unconscious, at the back of your mind. I only discover what I am writing ‘about’, and the best way to tell a particular story, through a long, cyclical process of writing, redrafting, researching and redrafting — a slow process for me, whether I have time to write or not. I did sometimes think I wasn’t going to manage it, that life would be so much easier if I gave up trying to, but the initial desire to tell the story of the little boy at the centre of The Devil’s Music never went away; he haunted me.

Do you think women face particular challenges in career/family life balance or is it something that both men and women face in equal measure?

Certainly my generation of women, born in the 50s, faces more challenges than men when it comes to balancing writing and family commitments. Perhaps it’s a generalization, but there’s still the expectation that women should take the burden of responsibility for childcare and domestic chores.

Something has to give when wearing many hats, what is it for you?

I used to do a lot of gardening and decorating and cooking. Now I don’t! For the past 4 years or so my husband has done all the cooking — but then he is MUCH more interested in food than me. I’d eat boiled egg and toast every day to save valuable writing/thinking time. I do, when he’s away. When the children were younger, being a ‘good’ mother often seemed to include aeons of time revolving around food: I’m glad not to have that anymore!

What would you say to parents who want to write or further a writing career?

If writing is your passion, it’s very important to give it space in your life — important for you, and for everyone around you. If there are ‘sacrifices’ (money, time, friends even), only you can decide if they’re worth it.

More information on Jane and the Devil’s Music.

Jane’s novel the Devil’s Music was recently brought out on ebook. The book has received fabulous reviews.

Thank you so much to Jane. I wish her continued writing success. Find out more about Jane at her author site and about her novel The Devil’s Music. Facebook page: The Devil’s Music Facebook.

Writers: How Far Can You Get on Just 250 Words?

I’ve interviewed creative women with young children at home who are desperately unhappy because they can’t get their creative work done with any kind of regularity, or even at all. Probing more deeply, I often learn that so-and-so writer mother can’t consider working on her novel if she doesn’t have four hours to herself. When I suggest trying to be more flexible with work opportunities, she resists. So then the question becomes, gently: “Do you want to get your novel written on your own terms, or do you want to get your novel written?”

It’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever. Eventually, she will again be able to enjoy four-hour stretches of solitude for writing. But if that’s not feasible right now, and the creative work is how she makes meaning, it’s more important to loosen up on those ideals and develop skills that enable more spontaneous and flexible creativity.

It’s not terribly hard to write 250 words a day. With the exception of mothers with newborns, most of us can pull off 250 words without making a major time commitment or feeling like we’re neglecting our family. The four paragraphs you’re reading right now total exactly 250 words. If you wrote 250 words a day, you would have a full-length novel written in just over a year. Does that sound like a long time? It’s not. And if you don’t write those 250 words a day, the year will pass anyway, novel or no novel. Word by word!

This piece was reprinted from the last issue of the Creative Times, our monthly newsletter. Click here to subscribe!

Monday Post ~ May 2, 2011

“The good mother is a great artist, ever creating beauty out of chaos.” ~ Alice Randall

What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Kelly: A Peek into My Insanity

How the heck are you? It’s been a little crazy around here, so I’ve been a bit slow on the blog front! Between work and my art, April and May are my two busiest months of the year. I have four major work events in April and May, and three of them are actually my biggest events of the year.

April 7, we had our annual Student Government Spring Fling, where I dished out 800 slices of pizza in less than two hours. It’s essentially just a huge gathering on the green, where we provide food, music and a year-end party-type atmosphere. Next up is our annual college-wide High Honors Luncheon. This is for all the graduates completing their degrees with high honors or summa cum laude. The most stressful part of putting this gig together is that all the top brass of the college attend, so we have to make it all look flawless. In the midst of all this, I’m preparing or our annual campus Student Awards program April 28, where we’ll be giving out individual awards to nearly 75 students.

And then there’s the granddaddy of them all: Commencement. Imagine the task of getting approximately 1,500 students lined up and into their seats on the Arena floor, getting them all across the stage, and getting them back out….in less than three hours…without a rehearsal. This year we’ve added another twist to it as we are combining ceremonies. In the past, we’ve had a morning ceremony that included all our credit programs, i.e., associate’s degrees and bachelor’s degrees, and then an afternoon ceremony that included our non-credit programs, i.e., adult high school, GED, and technical and career certificates. This year, our president has decided he wants everyone in the same ceremony. Thus my estimate of 1,500 students… Last year we had 1,097 in the first ceremony and 284 in the second, and our enrollment has grown dramatically over the past three years. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if we end up with more than 1,500. I’ll be a very happy camper about 3pm on May 7 when the big show is over!

To add to the stress of the big show, we do a Bachelor’s Breakfast the morning of the ceremony on the upper concourse of the Arena. The breakfast is at 9am; the ceremony starts at 11am. RSVPs started coming in to me today. And don’t even get me started on the college’s current Institutional Effectiveness process and my process team leader self….  My brain is fried.

Then there’s the fun stuff. My first big spring show was the last Saturday in March in Tallahassee. Springtime Tallahassee is actually my favorite show of the year because it’s such a fun atmosphere, and I get to see lots of old friends. Next up is the Tifton Love Affair Fine Arts Festival in Tifton, Georgia, April 30-May 1. Mermaids and Mamas Artful Adventure 2011 is May 14-15 (space still available!), and I’ve gotten a request to do a second Mermaids and Mamas for a private group June 4-5. And I have all these book ideas floating around in my head, and my book table is all set up crying for attention!

And then there are those two little redheads and that darling husband of mine to work into the mix. Thankfully my girls are getting to the point where they are great little workshop helpers, and my DH is one heck of a van-loading machine, not to mention our chef extraordinaire (without him I’d be a LOT skinnier). You may say that I bring this insanity on myself. Partly maybe. The work-related projects are simply part of my responsibilities at the college. Now the fun stuff, sure, that’s done by choice. But I think without the fun stuff, the work stuff would really drive me insane. Capacity…it’s all about capacity. I started getting off on a really long tangent about capacity and art groups and Facebook groups and overcommitment by technology, but I’ll save that for another post. For now, I just need a nap. Bring on summer.

Tell me about your crazy world so I can take a break from mine!

[Cross-posted from Happy Shack Designs]

Bonita Rose: Vintage Sewn Paper Gift Bags

I’ve been having fun in my studio these days, and am playing with all kinds of new things like fabrics, buttons, fancy trims, fabric paint and more!

Aaaah, the life of a passionate creative, right?

Recently I had fun creating some FUN and colorful Sewn Paper Gift Bags!

I made these with simple kraft paper lunch bags, some vintage fabric and trims and black thread. Not hard to do, but the results are so so beautiful! I am making each one unique and each will be available in my shop here.

Some people have told me I should ask more for these, but for now they are listed in the shop below for $3.95 USD each or 2/$5.95 USD!

Each one has a shipping tag tucked inside, stamped with ‘Just a Note” in Victorian Script. The perfect place to write a little something.

Use them to give someone a special gift — jewelery, a gift card, cash — you name it! Aren’t they pretty?

Remember, give handmade.

I had fun!

Thank you to my dear friend and online teacher, Roben-Marie who every day continues to inspire me with her creativity!

Monday Post ~ April 25, 2011

“I consider every individual to be located somewhere on what I call an infinite continuum of creative accomplishment.”
~A. H. Maslow

What are your plans for creative practice this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic goal or a milestone to reach for. A goal as simple as “I will be creative for 10 minutes every day” is what it’s all about. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Miranda: Open House

So far, 2011 is turning out to be an extremely exciting year. It’s so rewarding when your collection of seemingly unrelated passions come together in one big flashing exclamation point.

Some of you may recall my post about becoming certified as a creativity coach. To that end, I’m thrilled to share with you my new creativity coaching website, www.mirandahersey.com.

What’s a creativity coach? A creativity coach is similar to a life coach, but focuses more specifically on creative work. I work with clients who are struggling with making time for art, feeling stuck creatively, or looking for guidance with a specific project or life transition. Interestingly, most creative mothers don’t seem to suffer from writer’s block or artistic dry spells. As we’ve all seen here in our 3+ years together at this blog, it’s much more common for a creative mother to feel suffused by creative ideas and new projects. Her issue is more typically a serious shortage of time. So in my coaching work, we look at all the elements in her current landscape to see how to make more room and support for creative practice.

As part of my new endeavor, I’m putting out a monthly e-newsletter as an umbrella project for Studio Mothers as well as my coaching business. The newsletter includes several tidbits of inspiration and practical advice — so I hope you’ll sign up! Just click here and then click on the newsletter icon in the left-hand sidebar. The first issue comes out tomorrow!

12 Ways to Watch Less TV and Be More Creative

It’s easy to understand the appeal of slobbing out in front of the television when you’re exhausted at the end of a long day. We all need a little downtime. But TV can be parasitic: You turn it on because you feel too tired to do anything else — and that’s it. Watching TV is not going to restore you. It is very unlikely that you’ll turn on the TV at 8:00 pm and then jump up an hour later saying “Great! Let’s get to work on that watercolor painting!” TV is designed to hook you and keep you on your sofa.

The artist and author Keri Smith wrote on her blog: “A few years ago I turned off the TV for good, not because I think TV is necessarily evil, but because I wanted to take back control of my time and what I put into my head. I wanted to treat my mind as a sacred space, and begin to fill it with things that would help formulate new ideas, my imagination, and things that benefitted my life instead of taking away from it.” Well said.

Let’s say that you enjoy television, and it’s a fairly regular part of the evening routine at your house. You might not want to get rid of TV altogether. You may be like many mothers, and feel like a vegetable by the time the kids are in bed. If so, try one of these experiments.

  1. Front-load a few moments of creative practice. Tell yourself that you will watch TV, but first you’re going to be creative for just 15 minutes. You may feel like what you produce is drivel, but that’s OK. Being brilliant is not the point here. Just be creative. Write a few lines, draw a lousy sketch. Make some notes about an idea you had while doing the dishes. Simply do something. If you do this every night before vegetating, you may find that you don’t want to stop after 15 minutes, or that your short creative stint generates a second wind. You may actually feel energized by the activity. Even if your energy level isn’t affected, and you’re still dog tired and head for the couch, you’ll feel great knowing that you did a little something important for yourself beforehand.
  2. Move your body. Do a little stretching — some yoga, Pilates, or calisthenics on the floor. If you haven’t had much physical exercise during the day, a little bit of something will make you feel better, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing. You don’t have to hit the gym or do a cardio DVD; just find a short routine that you can do on the floor. Do 20 sit-ups. Do some leg-lifts. If you have enough room, you might even be able to devise a short routine to do while you’re watching TV, if you can’t tear yourself away.
  3. Save it for later. Use a DVR to record those shows you think you can’t miss. Then use the time to read or talk to your spouse, call a friend, or anything else that appeals to you, even if you’re too tired to be creative. You’ll end up feeling less tired, and chances are, you’ll end up forgetting to watch that “important” show anyway. And if you do want to watch your recording, you can fast-forward through the commercials, saving time and brain cells.
  4. Pump up the urgency. Use a contest or other external deadline to lend you a sense of urgency. When you’re working toward something and you don’t have daytime hours to make it happen, evening time is suddenly an important resource. You’ll get things done despite being tired — and once you’re in the habit, you may even lose the fatigue.
  5. Go to sleep. If you’re really too tired to do anything you actually want to do, go to bed. You’re tired! Chances are, you’re not getting enough sleep anyway. It’s really OK to go to bed at 8:30 if your body is shutting down. Get a good night’s sleep and you’ll wake up with lots more energy and creative bandwidth.
  6. Be selective. Make a list of the three or four weekly shows that you really love, and decide to watch those and only those. Whatever you do, do not channel surf. When your favorite show is over, turn the TV off. If you have cable or satellite TV and pick up the clicker, you are guaranteed to be able to find something you feel like watching. Why waste your time staring at something you wouldn’t even know you’d be missing, if you hadn’t stumbled upon it by channel surfing?
  7. Turn on the radio. Avoid turning the TV on as background noise or to keep you company, whether it’s daytime or evening. Inane commercials pollute your mind, and you’ll probably end up sitting down and watching something if you let the TV run. If you like the sound of voices, tune a radio to NPR. If you want something more soothing or mood-boosting, put on some music.
  8. Surf the creative interwebs instead. If you think you’re just too brain dead to do anything else but stare at a screen, at least head to your computer — or use laptop while you’re on the couch — and do something that is vaguely related to your creative interests. Surf the blogs of other writers or artists, collect images you like, read the news in your area of creative interest. Connect with an online community. Do something that feeds your pursuit. While it’s still electronic, this activity is at least related to something that feeds you. If you’re already regularly connected to the blogosphere, make sure it isn’t cutting into your regular creative practice. Save surfing for the evening, or for whatever time of day you’re at your lowest energy level. If you’re doing research for a book or other project, cap the amount of time you spend researching so that you don’t pour it all down the internet drain.
  9. Check in with your Big Picture. Before you plop down on the couch tonight, read your mission statement, if you have one. Is watching TV every night part of what you’re here to do? If you were to die tomorrow, would this be the way to spend your last evening?
  10. Fake it ‘til you make it. Pretend for one evening that you are an exceptionally driven artist. Pretend that you are one of those women who aren’t tempted by TV and have a lot of energy. Pretend you don’t have a TV. Just try it. The results may be addicting — more addicting than the TV.
  11. Use your hands. If you’re going to be camping out on the couch for a while, you might as well do something creative with your hands. Try knitting, needlepoint, crochet, embroidery, etc. The physical movement of these activities is soothing. They’re not hard to learn; if you don’t yet know a needlecraft, you probably have a friend who would be happy to get you started.
  12. Create an ally. If you have a spouse or partner who is a serious TV watcher, he or she may feel abandoned if you suddenly start doing something else every night. Explain what you’re trying to do. So long as you aren’t abruptly and completely removing yourself from an established routine without any discussion, you may find more support for your creative interests than you’d anticipated. If not, keep at it. Over time, you’ll find a way to manage both needs.
For your reading enjoyment and/or a future reference, you can download a PDF layout of this post here.

Monday Post ~ April 18, 2011

“Wondering means it’s acceptable not to know. It is the natural state at the beginning of all creative acts, as recent brain research shows.” ~Gabrielle Rico

What creative work would you like to accomplish this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic task or a milestone to reach for. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Writer Mother Interviews: Maria Duffy

[This article is generously cross-posted from Alison Wells’s blog, Head above Water.]

Alison Wells: My four children are between 10 and 3 years old. As a novelist and short story writer, I was interested to find out how other women writers with young children manage their writing time and find creativity among chaos. In this series of interviews we hear from writers from Ireland, England, France, the US, and Australia who are at various stages in their writing careers.

Maria Duffy (pictured with her family at right) from Dublin, Ireland is a mum (or mammy!) of four children: Eoin, 14, Roisin, 13, Enya, 9 and Conor, 7.  She writes women’s fiction and recently signed with Curtis Brown agent Sheila Crowley. She has had stories published — in A Pint And A Haircut and in a US anthology called Saying Goodbye and she blogs fabulously for Hellomagazine.com, interviewing celebrity tweeters.

When did you start writing, Maria? Had you established a writing rhythm or career before or did it happen alongside the kids?

I’ve always been interested in writing but never did much about it. I was always the one to write the silly poem when somebody was leaving their job or celebrating a big birthday. I suppose I always wrote bits and pieces but never really had the confidence or belief in myself to take it any further. When the children were very young (I had four under six), I began to write a novel. It was a revelation to me because I fell in love with the art of bringing the characters to life on the page and exploring their lives. As the children got older, I began to write more and now couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life.

What impact has having children had on your writing career?

I would probably say it’s had a good impact. Before I had children, I had a fulltime job in the bank and worked long hours. When I had my third child, I gave up my job to stay at home with the children. It was really only then that I began to explore the idea of writing more seriously. If I’d stayed at the bank, I probably would have always written but not to the extent I do now.

How do you organise your writing routine and space?

I have a pretty good routine these days. It was certainly more difficult when the children were younger and I always had at least one of them at home with me. Now that they’re all in school, I drop them off at 9:15 am and the day is mine until I collect them at 3 pm. Although I write from home, I discipline myself to look on it like any other job and force myself to ignore the piles of ironing and the layers of dust on the furniture! I used to find this difficult and I’d often lose a whole day of writing because I’d decide my house was filthy and I just had to clean it! These days I tell myself that if I was out of the house working at another job, the housework wouldn’t be done so I close my eyes, step over the pile of washing and go and write! The other thing I’ve learned to do is to say no to offers from friends to go for coffee or shopping. I have a number of friends who have young children and we used to spend long mornings putting the world to rights over coffee. Now I just tell them I’m working and either catch up with them in the evenings or weekends.

Is it possible to maintain a balance on a daily basis or do you find yourself readjusting focus from work to family over a longer time-span?

I think it’s often difficult to get the balance right. In theory, I write while the children are in school and spend the rest of the day doing homework with them, bringing them to their after-school activities, making dinner, etc. But that’s the ideal scenario. As any writer would tell you, deadlines loom and pressure builds and sometimes the writing day can spill over into the evening or night. Sometimes I might be having a productive day and the words are flowing. On those days, it’s very difficult to just stop at a certain time and not do any more. Also, life is so unpredictable when you have children. It only takes one of them to have a tummy bug or a bout of tonsillitis for all my best-laid plans to go out the window. And don’t talk to me about mid-term…!

How do the children react to your writing or the time you spend on it?

Overall, they’re pretty good. They’re old enough now to understand what I’m doing and as they’re all big readers, they love the thought that I’m writing books. I also have the pleasure of blogging for Hellomagazine.com and sometimes interview celebrities. This earns me lots of brownie points with them. For example, I recently interviewed Jedward and my children were waiting outside for me. I managed to drag John out to say hello to them so I was the coolest Mammy in the world!

What do you find most challenging in juggling your roles as mother and writer?

The most challenging thing is the guilt. Although I try to divide my time between my writing and the family, I’m not always very successful at it. There are days when I plonk the children in front of the telly because there’s something I really need to get done and when a deadline is looming, I’ve been known to feed the children beans on toast or pasta and microwave sauce for days! When one of the children comes home crying because I haven’t given him the money for a school tour or haven’t signed his homework journal, the guilt is huge. Writing is one of those things that you can’t switch off from and I sometimes feel it takes over my brain and doesn’t leave room for anything else. Gosh, that all makes me sound like a terrible mother, doesn’t it? I think the most important thing is my children know they’re loved and I keep telling myself to stop beating myself up about the little things.

You’ve made breakthroughs,  such as becoming a blogger for Hello Magazine and securing agent representation at Curtis Brown. When did your proudest writing moments happen and how did you feel?

My first breakthrough came when Poolbeg showed an interest in my first novel. I’d sent them six chapters and they asked to see the full manuscript. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful that felt, especially knowing they only ask a small percentage of people to send the full manuscript. That was two years ago and nothing came of it but it was a huge boost to my confidence as a writer and I began to think I really could make it as an author. I’ve since had a couple of short stories published and, as I already mentioned, I’m blogging for Hellomagazine.com, but my proudest moment in my writing career so far was when I was taken on by a fabulous agent, Sheila Crowley from Curtis Brown. I signed with Sheila six months ago and it’s been amazing. As a writer, sometimes you feel you’re writing into the wind, with nobody acknowledging what you’re doing and not getting feedback. To have an amazing agent like Sheila who champions me and believes in me is worth so much.

Do you think women face particular challenges in career/family life balance or is it something that both men and women face in equal measure?

I think these days both women and men face challenges in career/family life. I’ve already mentioned the challenges I face as a mother but in my situation, my husband faces those challenges too. He’s very supportive of me and my writing and he’ll muck in as much as he can to help. He works fulltime but has set up an office for himself at home in order to try to work at least one day a week from home. He does this so that he can help with the children/housework etc. and allow me to write. At times when I’m under pressure, he tells me to just keep my head down and write and he’s the one who ends up juggling work and children. I’m very lucky to have him.

(He does sound wonderful!)

Something has to give when wearing many hats. What is it for you?

Oh that’s an easy one — the ironing, the cleaning, the making of healthy dinners…! Put it this way, if I have an hour to spare, I’d rather sit and chat with the children and find out about their day rather than spend it doing housework!

What suggestions do you have for mothers or indeed parents who want to write or further a writing career?

Firstly I’d say that if it’s something you want to do, you’ll find a way to do it. We all have to juggle things and sometimes it seems like an impossible task but once you’re actually doing it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it before. If you really want to write, look at your day and see how you could structure it to find some time to do it. You’ll have to learn to prioritize; otherwise you’ll never do it. For instance, I used to be very stuffy about my house. I probably cleaned for hours every day and loved to have a house smelling of roses! I’m not saying my house is filthy now (honestly, it’s not!) but it’s certainly not as shiny as it used to be!

Get your children to help out more around the house. We, as a family, do a clean up hour on Saturday mornings. Of course I do the necessary stuff (like wiping wee off the toilet seat!) every day but the big clean-up is left until Saturday mornings. All six of us get stuck in for an hour and I give everybody jobs to do. It’s actually quite enjoyable to have us all buzzing around the place for a while and we usually have some treats afterwards.

The other thing you can do to free up more time is think ahead about dinners for the week. I often make a few dinners at weekends and freeze them –things like casseroles or stews that can be defrosted and heated up easily. I also make sure there are plenty of snacks in the house so the children won’t go hungry while I have my head in the computer!

Basically, if you want to write, nothing should stop you; there’s always a way!

Thanks so much for your fabulous answers Maria! Wishing you every success for publication of your novel!

Find out more about Maria on her blog Writenowmom. See Maria in action interviewing the stars on Hellomagazine.com on her Stars in the Twitterverse blog.

Monday Post ~ April 11, 2011

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.”
~Anne Lamott

What creative work would you like to accomplish this week? Given the specifics of your schedule, decide on a realistic task or a milestone to reach for. Share your goal(s) as a comment to this post, and let us know how things went with your creative plans for last week, if you posted to last week’s Monday Post.

Suggestion: When you’re deciding on your creative intentions, it’s a good idea to think about WHEN you’re going to write those 2,000 words or paint that canvas. Try to schedule the time slots in your calendar (if you keep one), understanding that flexibility may be required. If things don’t happen when you wanted them to, that’s OK. Give yourself a gentle push with one hand, but pat yourself kindly on the shoulder with the other if you don’t reach your goal for a given week. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes it’s harder. Ride whatever you’ve got.

It’s also useful to have a sense of your minimum requirements (come hell or high water I’m going to write 100 words) while keeping a lookout for sudden opportunities to do more. You know, the day that the baby takes a monster nap or your partner takes the kids out to run errands and you find yourself with an unexpected “extra” half hour. Grab that time for yourself. You can catch up on the dishes and the laundry later. If you keep something creative in the back of your mind for those sudden opportunities, you’ll be more likely to use them to your advantage — rather than squandering your precious bonus moments on Facebook or vacuuming out the sofa cushions.

Miranda: Healthy Spring

It’s nearly 50 degrees outside right now, but it’s sunny and a few of my windows are open. This weekend is going to bring beautiful weather, and with it, our first real sigh of spring in New England. Our gift for putting up with a seemingly endless winter is the euphoric arrival of fair weather and the dream-like return of flora and fauna.

I believe that many of us who celebrate Easter without the religious emphasis see the holiday as a celebration of the new season. This year, I’m ahead of the game in Easter preparations — but things will be a little different this time around. In recent months I’ve gone hard-core in getting rid of the sugar and cheap carbs in my pantry and refrigerator. Yes, I *thought* my diet was healthy — vegetarian, largely organic, trying to reduce our dependence on anything that comes out of a box — but then I read Connie Bennett‘s Sugar Shock and Nancy Desjardin‘s The Sugar Free Lifestyle. I had read other books on sugar and its insidious, addictive properties before (and how many things we don’t think of as sugar act in a similar way) but this time I actually got it.

Fat is far less of a concern (especially for vegetarians) than sugar is. When shopping for organic yogurt for the kids, I now pick the brand with the fewest grams of sugar. I’m working toward getting them onto plain yogurt. I now make sure that the organic peanut butter I buy doesn’t have added sweetener. I will no longer buy potato chips, because they’re too much of a rush on the glycemic index without any protein or fiber to slow things down. I won’t even buy Annie’s organic products anymore if they aren’t whole-grain. That means whole-wheat mac & cheese and whole-wheat bunny crackers, which were an easy switch on my little guys. Now, when my kids eat fruit or whole-grain crackers, I make sure they have some nuts or something else with protein in it to reduce to effects of sugar on their tiny little systems. I don’t even prepare regular pasta for dinner anymore — it has to be whole grain. (Schar makes tasty whole-grain pasta that is also gluten-free — nice for me, as I don’t eat wheat at all. Not because I have celiac, but because I find that eating wheat products — even whole-grain wheat — induces strong food cravings that drive me crazy and destroy my mood. Other carbs that aren’t whole grain — like rice cakes made from white rice instead of brown, or potato puffs, pirate booty, etc. — also entice me to pig out and then crash.)

I’m not even buying or making cookies anymore. Do I sound like a mean mom? The only reason I’m getting away with this is that my oldest son is away at college (but trying to improve his diet anyway); the next oldest son, a junior in high school, doesn’t have a sweet tooth at all; my daughter, who is 15, has been right on board with me in improving our snacking habits; the little guys are happy with the occasional all-natural popsicle. OH, and I even stopped buying juice. Can you believe it? The little boys get organic juice boxes in their lunches, but other than that, it’s water (which we all love anyway) or soy milk (I’ll save my rant about soy for another time). I won’t even buy my kids gum since I learned from my friend Jane that even “natural” gum contains plastics — and regular gum contains truly awful chemicals that you don’t want your child putting in his or her mouth.

While I’m on the health rant here, I’ll note that I’ve also just given up caffeine. Now, if you know me, you know that I was an extremely devoted coffee fan. I have a Keurig one-cup brewer (which, OK, I absolutely adore except for the fact that the K-cups are not yet recyclable) and was enjoying at least 3 — sometimes 4 — large cups of coffee a day. Each with skim milk and two sugars. Any time I felt a little down or tired I’d hit the machine. But then I stumbled across some information that opened my eyes to the effects of caffeine — and that the data on caffeine being an appetite suppressant and/or metabolism booster is sketchy at best. If anything, caffeine may give you a short-term buzz that fends off hunger, but then you’re going to come off of that buzz and be more interested in food than you would have been if you’d skipped that cup of Joe in the first place — not to mention all the bad stress-like effects that caffeine wreaks on your body. So there I was, relying on caffeine to keep my cravings away, and I was actually shooting myself in the foot. (Speaking of feet, one of my motivations in altering my diet is that I broke my foot more than two months ago and it’s refusing to heal. I was hoping that removing the sugars, cheap carbs, and caffeine that tax that body — and replacing them with an emphasis on raw vegetables — would stoke my healing ability.)

Going off of caffeine was SO much easier with the help of Teeccino. I’d never had this herbal coffee before, and I LOVE it. (Thanks, Brenna!) Teecccino company, if you’re reading this, I will do ads for you for FREE. It’s all-natural and many varieties are largely organic. Totally caffeine-free. It doesn’t taste quite like coffee, but it satisfies in the way that coffee satisfies — and I only put a tiny bit of sugar in it (which I’m working on weaning off entirely). At the beginning, I blended regular coffee with Teeccino in increasingly smaller doses so I could ease off without the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. OMG, Teeccino has made such a huge difference for me — I have several flavors and can honestly say that I don’t think I’d be off caffeine without it. I still get that “ooooh, I’m having a treat” feeling that I used to get from coffee. (Bonus: I make my Teeccino using the reusable Keurig filter, so no more waste.)

I don’t know if it’s the drastic reduction in sugar and cheap carbs, the elimination of caffeine, or the raw green protein smoothies that I try to have every day, but my skin has never looked better and my energy has never been more abundant. I’m sleeping like a dead person and waking up refreshed. My creative bandwidth is unprecedented. Has all of this helped my broken foot? The next set of x-rays is scheduled for the end of next week, so we’ll see.

So, all of this goes to say that I couldn’t bring myself to load the kids up with tons of Easter candy this year. All that sugar, all that artificial food coloring and chemicals — ugh. It’s just not good for them, and will be a real shock to their bodies after eating so well for the past few months. And I don’t want to have it around to tempt *me* either. We can’t go cold turkey, as that would be a little unfair, but I drastically reduced the amount of candy that the Easter Bunny will be hiding, and the kids’ Easter baskets (even the teenagers still get them), with the exception of a chocolate bunny in each, are filled entirely will non-food items. That was actually fun. But in order to transition in way that’s satisfying for everyone, we need to develop some new traditions. I want to focus on creativity, health, family, and the new season.

If you celebrate Easter, what are your favorite non-food treats? Do you have any Easter crafts — in addition to the can’t-miss annual egg-dyeing — that have become traditions? I’d love your ideas and inspiration!