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Posts from the ‘Kelly’ Category

Jul 29

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Kelly: Fresh Faces and Birthday Places

Cross posted from my blog: a little look at a day in the life…

So here we are…six years ago today I brought my girls into this world. I told you about their grand arrival on this earth here. I read about a self-portrait challenge on Cristi’s blog who read about it on Crystal’s blog who read about it on Tara’s blog (don’t you love the connectedness blogging brings?), and I thought that the girls’ birthday would be the ideal day to show my fresh face and include my girls. I’m not one for serious pictures (as obviously seen here), so we broke out the grins.

Having girls, I’m acutely aware of the pressure society often puts on us to look beautiful, with beauty products and quick fixes being major money makers. We all need to cherish our beauty, both inner and outer, and learn to feel comfortable in our own skin. What better example to set for our children?

So here I am in all my no make-up, no hair dryer glory. I don’t wear much make-up to begin with, so this isn’t much of a stretch! I couldn’t do the “first thing out of bed” picture because it’s still dark when I get up, so this is fresh out of the shower this morning.

The girls are still in their pajamas with messy hair. I love the picture of the three of us, Sarah just peeking up over the bottom of the frame. We’re sitting in the window seat in their room.

I took the day off today to spend the day with the girls for their birthday. After our morning photo shoot, we went to Yes You Canvas, which I first told you about here. Then I took them to their favorite lunch spot, Chick-fil-A, and then to see the movie G Force (the talking guinea pigs really were a hoot).

After a little shopping trip to Reddi-Arts and Target to spend their birthday money from Papa and Granddad, we capped the day off with dinner and birthday cake at Chowder Ted’s. Ted’s is one of those special neighborhood places, and we feel very blessed to have Ted and the gang within walking distance from our house.

The girls’ first trip there was at six weeks old and was actually their very first trip out of the house after coming home from the NICU. They sat on the tables in their carriers and slept the whole time, and we’ve spent every birthday dinner there since, the girls birthday, DH’s birthday and my birthday.

Ted and his wife Carole have become dear friends, and the whole Ted’s gang are like extended family for us. In the picture here are the girls with Teresa, Ted and Amy.

Thank you, Lord, for this family. I am truly blessed. Happy birthday, dear sweet baby girls.

Jul 13

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Kelly: Working Through Creative Mama Frustrations

So, we’re all creative mama’s here, right? We create, in whatever form, and we try to instill that creative juice in our children.  So what happens when those two worlds collide and you throw shoes?

My girls love to create art. I’m happy about that. We create art together all the time—at my art bench, at their art bench, on the side porch, on vacation—and they are developing a nice little talent. But after I checked my email this morning, I came downstairs to find that Sarah had broken one of our number one house rules, yet again:  Art supplies do not come upstairs; they stay downstairs in the play room/art room/room that does not contain furniture that we actually care about and would like to keep looking presentable. Caught your interest yet? So what art supply did my darling curly red-headed child bring up stairs?  Oh, only the most permanent of art supplies…that famous permanent marker we all call Sharpie. Yep, Sharpie….nice little Sharpie lines and squiggles drawn on my two-month-old, $3,000 Pottery Barn stone-colored sectional. When I made this particular furniture selection, I even talked with the salesperson about which fabric would be most kid friendly and went with the canvas twill at her suggestion.

I’m trying to find the humor is this situation and am failing miserably.  Sarah selected a hot pink Sharpie.  There is no hot pink in the room. Perhaps if she had gone with the orange to match the orange floral rug or bring out the orange in the terracotta walls…or the green to compliment the weathered green coffee table…or the aqua blue that shows up in my accent pillows…or heck! even black would have at least matched the piano!  Nope, she chose hot pink. Now I will say this is not the first time she has demonstrated her Sharpie love. There’s been a wall and a kitchen cabinet, and most distressing up until this point, my mom’s antique needlepoint footstool, which now says “I like Ike.” I don’t know who Ike is unless Sarah’s been channeling Dwight D. Eisenhower in her sleep.

So back to the throwing shoes part of the program. Yep, I threw shoes…I slammed doors…I even uttered a few choice expletives. I don’t do that often—lose my temper—but I did this morning, and I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.  Granted there are worse things in life to deal with. No one here is battling cancer or suffering from a heart attack. It’s just a couch (though I will repeat it is a brand new $3,000 couch that I haven’t even finishing paying for yet since I took advantage of that one-year no-interest financing offer). So what do you do when this happens at your house? We’re having a garage sale tomorrow. In it, I had hoped to sell our ten-year-old couch that was replaced by our now Sharpie-decorated sectional; Sarah took the scissors to that couch. Maybe I just need to put it back upstairs.

Jul 3

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Kelly: The Purple Cottage

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we might oft win, by fearing to attempt.”
–William Shakespeare

That quote is included in a gift book sitting on my desk called “The Strangest Secret,” by Earl Nightingale. Nightingale talks about the very same message shared in the book “The Secret,” but here’s the kicker:  Nightingale wrote his message in 1956.  I’ve had the book on my desk since my friend Ken Whitener gave it to me, but I must admit today was the first day I really looked at it. Ken used the book as the background for a leadership program he’s presented for me several times. Nightingale’s basic premise and his “strangest secret”? We become what we think about.

I’ve kept the book on my desk not necessarily for the subject matter but more for a reminder of the person who gave it to me. Ken and I worked together on programs ever since I started with the college, and he became more than just a guest speaker for me; he became a dear friend, a dear friend who passed away suddenly of a heart attack just a few weeks after he gave me the book earlier this year. Ken did live his life becoming what he thought about.  Whether he was presenting one of his leadership programs or his stock and trade comedy hypnotist shows, he exuded confidence and self-fulfillment and always had the same message: “YOU CAN DO IT!”  I can still hear him say it. (I just pulled up his website and saw that it’s still active; it was nice to see his smiling face.)

I can’t say it all started 15 years ago, but maybe it was just further cemented 15 years ago. I started working in Student Life in January of 1994. That fall, my supervisor at the time facilitated a college-wide retreat of our area. B.J. is a creative type herself, so I knew we were off to a good start. As part of the retreat, she gave us all big sheets of paper and put a pile of markers and crayons in the center of the table. Our instructions: draw your dream. She gave no further instruction; it could be a personal dream, a work dream, whatever you wanted to share. It was really done more as a group get-to-know-you activity rather than a departmental goal activity. Took me no time at all to get started because I already knew exactly what I wanted. I drew a funky little purple cottage with the name “The Happy Shack” emblazoned across the front. I remember the exact set up of the room and exactly where I was at the table. I even remember what I was wearing and how I did my hair that day. Fifteen years ago. I was reminded of that through an e-mail conversation I had with Miranda this week about the stressful time I’ve been having at work the past two weeks (she’s damn good at making you focus on your dreams, in case you haven’t already figured that out :-)).

Though many people consider my house to be the proverbial “Happy Shack,” and I guess in some ways it is, it’s not the Happy Shack I envision in my dream. That Happy Shack is a funky little art gallery/studio, filled with my creations and the creations of other creative souls. It’s a place where those creative souls come together and share their creativity, whether it’s teaching skills or swapping stories or just creating art together. Over the years it’s had a bed and breakfast attached to it at times, and my DH particularly likes that part of the dream. And it has lots of furry friends…dogs, cats, maybe even a chirpy little canary named Ladybird Lulu. But whatever manifestation it’s taken, it’s always been purple.

While the family and I were in St. George Island for our vacation, we visited the island art gallery, called the Sea Oats Gallery. Guess what was right next door to the Sea Oats gallery…a little cottage, once called the Book Nook, but now out of business. The sign on the door said, “Out of Business. Retired!” Guess what color that little cottage was. Yep, purple. It was surrounded by a bunch of stray cats, including a black and white one which was particularly friendly. Serendipity? A little reminder of a dream? The little yellow and orange flowers peeking up around the front porch certainly seemed to be saying so.

So what am I to learn from this? It definitely has been an incredibly stressful time at work, and as I’ve shared with you here before, I’ve been looking at different options here and there for quite some time now. Is it time to make a change? Yep, I do agree that it’s definitely time to make a change, yet in the short run I’m hopeful that change involves just a change in position, my first preference being a new position soon to be advertised at the college, still in Student Affairs but a little broader reaching than just Student Life. I’d love the opportunity to give it a shot because I think I’d enjoy the challenge that comes with a newly created position. Keep your fingers crossed for me. But in the long run…I keep going back to that little purple cottage, maybe with a bed and breakfast attached, and a chirpy canary named Ladybird Lulu…being circled by a friendly little black and white cat…who is great pals with a big goofy brown dog. It’s in a quaint little town that people like to visit for the sheer charm of it. It’s near the water, since along with art, water is what feeds my soul. And it’s a happy place, a happy little shack. It’ll happen. Maybe five or ten years down the road, but it’ll happen. Thanks, Ken. I CAN do it. I will become what I think about.

“Live this new way and the floodgates of abundance will open and pour over you more riches than you may have dreamed existed. Money? Yes, lots of it. But what’s more important, you’ll have peace…you’ll be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful successful lives…you have nothing to lose—but you have a whole life to win.” –Earl Nightingale

Jun 25

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Kelly: The Lottery of Life…

stgeorge girlsCross posted from my personal blog…

Today was “one of those days”, as the saying goes. I’ve most certainly had better. Just dealing with some unpleasant issues on the job…changes and challenges involved with our institutional shift.  Before I headed home, I summed up my day by changing my Facebook status to “Kelly has yet to win the lottery…”  My friend Wyanne must have been online right at that moment because she immediately commented, “You already won the lottery of life…”  Thank you, my dear friend. I needed that little reminder.

When I got home, Wyanne’s wonderful Universe backed up her comment.  The minute I walked in the door, Livvie was sitting on the couch and said, “Mama, where’s your new charm?” This morning I pulled my new anniversary charm out of its pretty little heart-shaped box and showed it to her before I placed the charm and my bracelet in my purse to get it soldered today.  It was that very box she was holding, and she asked me if she could have it.  “Look inside!” she said, “Sarah gave me a present!”  Inside were a few coins and a heart-shaped bead, so I told her how nice that was of Sarah and that, yes, certainly she could have the box.  She gave me a big Livvie hug like only little Livvie can do.

Then Sarah whispered at me from the stairs and asked me to come up stairs.  She grabbed my hand and walked me into the guest room (where we keep all the wrapping supplies) and, still whispering, said, “Shhh….I’m wrapping more presents for Livvie.”  On the floor were the shoe boxes from their new shoes Granddad bought them this weekend.  Inside one shoe box were a Barbie and a few pieces of paper she had colored; inside the other were a sweater and her ladybug backpack.  Yet still whispering, she asked me to help her wrap them. “But I need some tape and some scissors. Can you find me some?” I told her I’d run downstairs and get her some and she said, “Okay, but come right back and don’t tell Livvie.”  When I came back up with the tape and scissors, she started trying to wrap the boxes, then looked to me for help when she struggled.  “Mama, I want to put one of those sparkly bows on each one, but I can’t open the box [they are stored in]. Can you help me?”  I helped her open the box and she picked out two bows, one sparkly red and one sparkly green, and taped them to the presents.

She wanted to put the presents in a gift bag so we walked over to the closet to pick one out.  Now, this closet is the very closet in which I stored Bunny C.  I’ve told you about Bunny and Sister Bunny, so Bunny C is the third backup I found and stored away, only to be found by Sarah when I wasn’t looking.  She named this one Fluffy because, being brand new, obviously she was rather fluffy!  And at the moment, Fluffy was not in her special place in the special closet.

“Sarah, did you take Fluffy out again?”  I previously told her that Fluffy really wanted to live there until she really, really needed her, like when, *gasp*, Bunny and Sister Bunny both got lost or got so threadbare she couldn’t carry them around anymore.  “Yes, Mama,” still whispering.  “Well, do you know where she is?”  “Um, no, Mama, I really can’t remember right now [trying to distract me]…I think Livvie would like this bag,” she said as she picked out a big blue one with snowflakes. Then she put the presents in the bag and took them down to Livvie, who happily opened them up and, snuggling up to her sister, asked Sarah if she wanted to watch Hannah Montana with her.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing me another one of life’s little moments to keep me on the right path and remind me that I have, in fact, won the lottery of life.

May 20

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Kelly: Tweeting Here and There

My new photo boxes stained and ready for photo mounting

My new photo boxes stained and ready for photo mounting

I’m not thinking very clearly today (Monday). I finally gave in and started taking the new prescription my dizzy doc wanted me to try since she searched out an older generic version. With quite a bit of trepidation, I took my first one last night and within an hour, I felt a bit like a bobble-head doll. DH said I didn’t look like a bobble-head doll, and then said “Here, how many fingers am I holding up?” to which I responded, “Well first, you must move your hand farther away from my 43-year-old eyes….okay, three.” Nope, it was only one. I decided to go to bed at that point.

So back to today. I told my assistant when I came in this morning (about 45 minutes late since I had a heck of a time getting out of bed) that I started taking these new little pink pills so if she happened to walk back to my office and find me asleep on my desk, just make sure I’m still breathing, turn off the light and shut the door. Through a constant infusion of Diet Coke, I’ve managed to stay awake but can’t really concentrate on much (like that end of the academic year college-wide service learning and learning communities report I need to write), so what did I do? In my drug induced stupor, I joined Twitter! Sounded like a great idea for my even more shortened-attention-spanned self, right?!

I’ve been fighting jumping on the Twitter bandwagon for a while, figuring I didn’t need yet one more thing to keep up with. I recently took a free five-day online marketing course from Etsy guru Tim Adam, and the first day’s assignment was to (1) start a blog, (2) open a Facebook account, and (3) open a Twitter account. Since I already had two of the three done, I figured I was doing pretty well. The next three days’ lessons concentrated on each of those venues and how they can help you promote your art online. After Tim received much feedback on how much time the above three can suck out of your life, the fifth day’s lesson was changed from Google Analytics to Time Management. He has some great suggestions, and he’s been a very charitable mentor to many a struggling Etsy seller through the forums and through his Handmadeology site. He’s done very well with his own Etsy business, going from working two jobs and selling his art in galleries and fairs to dumping his day job and concentrating on his art full-time. Kudos to Tim.

However, what he doesn’t have, my dear friends, is children, and that is key! At the close of his five-day course, he asked for feedback on what else he could have included, and that was the point I mentioned to him. There is simply not enough time in the day for one woman to successfully work a full-time “day job”, parent small children AND spend all that time marketing herself on her blog, Facebook and Twitter. I’d be glued to the computer all day! Then, of course, there’s the actual creative time that must be taken to actually create the art that you are trying to market. And yes, I know, I know….you make time for what’s important…I’ve heard that many times. But there is wanting to make time for what’s important and then there’s the reality of life with small children (and the fact that I do actually need sleep).

This got me thinking more about my mission for my art, in whatever form it may take. I talked about this some at the end of this blog post. While I’d love to have more time to work on my art, I’m not willing to quit my day job (nor can we afford to financially even if I were willing). For the most part, I like my day job. I’ve built a great career at the college and I know that I’ve been a great positive influence on hundreds of students who’ve walked through my office door. Yet I still have that huge drive to create. And to get my creations out there to others. Is my art my “life’s work”? I know that I wouldn’t feel complete without it, but I also know it will probably never be my sole income…and I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that that’s just fine. I can create for me and if things sell, great; if they don’t, no biggee…I’ll find some place for them. Maybe that’s my subconscious telling me that my family needs health insurance, I need to build up my girls’ college fund, I need to have at least a little bit of stability in my life…who knows. Maybe I’m just not thinking clearly in my klonopin- and celexa-filled brain right now! 🙂 (And don’t even get me started on the topic of why I’m taking anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications for a balance disorder, as I haven’t figured that one out myself…I just listen to the good docs at my Mayo-clinic affiliated doctor’s office [and do my own research], but I digress). So I’ll Tweet here and there, and maybe I’ll develop a little Twitter following (with my humor and wit, how could they possibly resist, right?), and we’ll see what happens. If you are on Twitter, come join me here. We can juggle our crazy lives together!

May 18

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Kelly: The Things They Say About God

catch

[Cross-post from my personal blog] The girls and I were eating breakfast Friday morning when Livvie noticed that the roses they gave me for Mother’s Day were dying. I told them that, yes, unfortunately flowers die; things here on Earth don’t live forever. Then out of the blue Sarah said, “I miss Kitty.” Admitting I missed her to, I asked her what she thought God did for us after Kitty died. “He sent us Tink.” Yep, he sent us Tink, the sweet little stray kitten that appeared under my van one day on campus. This turned into a longer conversation about God and angels and how Kitty is up in Heaven with Mommy’s Mommy and Daddy’s Mommy. Sarah said that we never really die; we just become angels (this out of the mouth of a soon to be six-year-old). And Livvie responded with “Will you still be our Mommy when we are angels?” Me? “I will always, always, always be your Mommy, even when we are angels.” Then Livvie looked outside and said, “Maybe when God made our river, he sat on our dock to rest. I think he sat in the pink chair.” Indeed, he probably did.

We are not a go-to-church-every-Sunday family, but we do believe in God and try to instill that faith and those values in our girls, and sometimes their clarity of it all truly astounds me. I know they say the two things you should never bring up in conversation are politics and religion. Oh well, here’s my two cents. 🙂 I don’t care much about politics, but I’m thankful my girls are finding their faith.

Apr 30

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Kelly: The Magic of Childhood, Part II

livvie-bw1We hit a major milestone this weekend. We officially have big-girl bikers! We haven’t hit the pavement yet, but they are running laps around the backyard with ease. I guess that’s one benefit to having hard-packed river sand and scrub covering the majority of your backyard. I’m very disappointed to admit I missed “the moment.” Since I’ve been doing the Riverside Arts Market every Saturday, DH has had more time with the girls and has been practicing with them, and while I was sitting in my booth about 2pm Saturday afternoon, they were riding laps around the backyard unassisted for the first time. DH called to tell me. When I got home, they demonstrated for me so I could take pictures. Olivia, being the camera ham she is, was content to ride at least a dozen laps so I could get more and more pictures. Sarah chose to only do two laps and determined that with her glowing natural beauty, that should be sufficient to capture a stunning photo. She then put her skirt back on and pulled her ladybug chair over next to mine to watch Livvie ride.

I couldn’t resist aging these pictures. Watching the girls brought back memories of me learning to ride my bike and the series of black and white pictures my dad took of me. We lived in a big apartment complex in Miami at the time.  My mom worked full time as a nurse while my dad worked odd jobs and went to school.  We didn’t have much money, but I do have many good memories of that time. That’s when my dad and I grew up together. It’s funny how pictures do that for you.  A memory can be lost to time, only to resurface in perfect focus when an old picture crops up to remind you. My bike was bright blue with a white seat and red, white and blue streamers coming off the handlebars. After I outgrew that bike, I got the classic “banana seat” bike, appropriately yellow. Until my parents divorced, I spent nearly a month every summer in Orange Park with my Nana and Granddaddy, and that yellow banana seat bike took me everywhere.

sarah-bwMost of the kids in Nana’s neighborhood were boys, so the tomboy in me grew to full fruition in those days. There was a big hill near Nana’s house and we’d fly down that hill with all we had, always with one of the gang at the bottom of the hill watching for cars. If no cars were coming, that’s when we knew we could safely keep on flying, past Maria’s house, right over Capella Lane and on down to the dead end at the bottom of the hill. There was more than one occasion early on when I got the warning that a car was coming and hit my brakes in a panic, tumbling head over butt in an endo (though apparently not much has changed since I’ve been known to do that on my mountain bike these days as well). That bike took me to the creek back behind Nana’s house and down to the end of the neighborhood to the swimming hole back in the woods…forbidden territory that Nana knew nothing about (or so I thought). I’ll drive back through that neighborhood every now and then when I’m in Orange Park, and the memories of those days are so clear I can still feel the cold water of the swimming hole. I see us all…me, Ricky, Gary, Eddie, Ted, and every once in a while Maria and Sheila…climbing up that oak tree and jumping off its branches into the center of the hole, never worried about what might lie beneath, what might lie beyond, or what might face us the next day. That was childhood at its best. No worries, just fun. What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Apr 27

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Kelly: The Magic of Childhood

fairiesCall it magic, call it make believe, call it what you want…I’m just so glad it’s there. The Easter Bunny paid a little visit to our house Sunday before we headed down to the lake. The Easter Bunny’s assistant let Easter sneak up on her, so at 7:30 pm Saturday after dinner at Chowder Ted’s, she had to run to Walgreen’s and pick through the last of the available Easter candy. Since there were slim pickin’s (luckily she had a few things left over from what she bought to bring to school for their party), the Easter Bunny’s assistant had a great idea and enlisted the help of our neighborhood fairies.

fairy-doorsSee, we have fairies living in our house. They come in and out through these lovely little doors that appeared one morning. Occasionally the fairies leave us little gifts, and the girls leave them something in return. For Easter, the fairies got together with the Easter Bunny to create these lovely little pendants. They were sitting next to the girls’ Easter basket’s Easter morning, which the Easter Bunny had conveniently left right outside the fairies’ door downstairs near my workshop (those are the artist fairies; the musician fairies live upstairs under the piano). I’ve been bombarded by questions and suggestions from the girls as to just how exactly the fairies made these pendants.

Girls: “Mama, our fairies are so small! How did they pick up the glass?”

Mama: “Well, the Easter Bunny’s got to be pretty big to carry around the baskets. He must have helped them.”

Girls: “Yeah! I bet that’s what they did. They must have flown up to your workbench and used your supplies!”

Mama: “Well, yes, I did notice that my workbench was pretty messy when I came down here this morning. I think I even saw some fairy dust! These must be extra special necklaces…”

Girls: “Yes, ma’am. We’ll have to draw them a picture to thank them.”

The magic of believing is a wonderful thing. They’ve worn these necklaces every day since. Maybe the big girls can learn a lesson from the fairies and the little girls who believe in them.

Apr 1

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Weekly Creativity Challenge Back in Action!

Though I don’t participate every week, I didn’t want to see this go, so I volunteered to take it over for Miranda with a couple changes.  Since I can’t commit to the $10 weekly gift certificate (Miranda, you rock!), let’s change it from “contest” to “challenge.”  Everything else will work basically the same. Sound like a plan?

This week’s theme is “reach.”  Use the prompt however you like — literally, or a tangential theme. All media are welcome. Please e-mail your entries to creativereality@live.com by 10:00 p.m. eastern time (GMT -5) on Tuesday, April 7, 2009.  Writers should include their submission directly in the body text of their e-mail. Visual artists and photographers should attach an image of their work as a jpeg. Enter as often as you like; multiple submissions for a single prompt are welcome.  You do not have to be a contributor to this blog in order to enter; all are invited to participate. All submissions are acknowledged when received; if you do not receive e-mail confirmation of receipt within 24 hours, please post a comment here. Remember, the point is to stimulate your output, not to create a masterpiece. Keep the bar low and see what happens. Dusting off work you created previously is OK too. For more info, read the original contest blog post.

Mar 31

15 Comments

Kelly: Woman, Know Thyself

I had an interesting conversation over lunch with a good friend last week. Dana and I are both very creative souls and we both work in education, but that’s about where the similarities end. I’m a Student Life director, so by nature, I’m quick to act, easily juggle, rarely have time to analyze, and frankly, don’t like to analyze. I’m just more of a “do-er.” Dana is a counselor and psychology professor. ‘Nough said? She was telling me about some books she’s been reading…all in the self-help variety…and I was trying to feign interest but just couldn’t do it. I’m currently engrossed in the Twilight series. I must admit, I’ve never read a self-help book in my life. Honestly, I can’t think of a non-fiction book I’ve read that was outside the scope of school or college homework. Is that terrible? We’ve had some long talks about relationships (hers mainly) and though I love her to death, she frustrates the hell out of me when she comes to me for advice because, in my eyes, she analyzes things to death. I’m more of an “it is what it is” kinda girl.

We started talking about planning and goal setting and laying out some future plans for her life. Do you see where this is going? Do you remember me saying here how forced the Monday Page feels for me? So I admitted I’m not much of a planner or goal setter either. She just laughed at me and said, “Well then, how the heck do you do all that you do?” and I had to think about that for minute. All I could come up with was “Um, I just do it.” Lame, huh?

I’ve mentioned True Colors here before and I think that’s where my “Orangeness” comes into play. Here’s a basic rundown of an “Orange”: I act on a moment’s notice. Witty, charming and spontaneous, I consider life as a game, here and now. Impulsive, generous and impactful, I need fun, variety, stimulation, and excitement. Optimistic, eager, and bold, I value skill, resourcefulness, and courage. Physical, immediate, and fraternal, I am a natural trouble shooter, performer, and competitor. I value freedom, adventure, play, spontaneity, and variety, and I’m frustrated with schedules (particularly being on time) and unnecessary routine. I’m independent, action-oriented, flexible, energetic, and optimistic.” Blah, blah, blah…. Hmmm, which should explain why I’m so easily bored and even more easily distracted.

I’ve been a True Colors trainer for about nine years now, and it’s amazing how much knowing the principles behind it has helped me in my life. Most of the actual training is a blur to me, but one moment I remember very clearly. During the introduction, our trainer—Roosevelt something or other—cautioned us that because of the nature of the training, we’d be learning a lot about ourselves first and might have some epiphanies that surprise us. I definitely had one of those. My best friend Jim was going through the training with me (my DH calls him my “other husband”), and he saw the moment happen, and lucky for him was the one who had to help me work through it later that night. Our training was in June 2000, six months after my mother’s suicide. I can’t remember what Roosevelt said, but I clearly remember the thought that immediately popped in my head. My 54-year-old mother thought she had nothing to live for, yet she had me, a 34-year-old pregnant-with-twins me, and my 24-year-old sister. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks. All I could see right at that moment was that we weren’t reason enough to keep her alive. I wasn’t reason enough to keep her alive. My flexible, energetic, optimistic self crumbled right then and there. Jim saw me shut down and got me out of there as soon as the moment allowed. Also being an “Orange,” his first instinct was to “do something,” so he dragged me up to my room, got me to change into workout clothes, and took me out for a ride. We were in Atlanta, and the Olympic mountain biking training course was nearby and open to the public. It was a rough ride; he pushed me harder than what I was used to (he’s done three Ironman triathlons), but it was exactly what I needed. He helped me work through that moment physically so my mind didn’t really have much time to think about it. And later that night he sat there listening as I blubbered through my tears. But I got through it. And I think that Orange nature is what helped me get through it. It took me about another six months to gain back the self-esteem that plummeted with that realization, but I did bounce back, and I know I’m a stronger woman for it.

Maybe that’s where the title to this post comes from: Woman, Know Thyself. I had to remind myself of my worth, and I had to remind myself that “it is what it is,” and I can’t control the actions of another person. So back to Dana, no matter how much someone tries to analyze a person or even your own life, your analyzing isn’t going change anything. But your action will. As the saying goes, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Maybe my experience is what keeps me from being a planner and a goal-setter. I’m a child of five divorces and a mother who killed herself. I live in the here and now, most definitely. It reminds me of Miranda’s “someday is today.” In my typical rambling fashion, I’m trying to figure out what the heck my point was in all this, but I think maybe just “knowing thyself,” first and foremost, and not worrying about the goals and expectations that others put on you, is the first step to just “doing it.” I think that’s ultimately the advice I gave Dana: stop analyzing and just do something. And now, distracted by two little redheads dressed in fairy wings and calling my name, my train of thought has gone down the track of knowing thyself needs to go play with her children and enjoy this beautiful Spring Break day.

Feb 23

9 Comments

Kelly: Humming John Lennon

gypsy-moon1The girls and I lay down and stared at the moon and the stars last night, all cuddled up like three little ladybugs, telling stories. We weren’t outside. No, we were laying in Sarah’s bed, staring up at this particular moon and stars you see here. Aren’t they fabulous? This now covers our attic access, which just so happens to be in the girls’ room, courtesy of my friend Gypsy who came for a visit earlier this week. Not the best picture, but the best I could do shooting up while laying in Sarah’s bed! Gypsy, her apprentice Michelle, and I spent two days doing some painting, having some heart-to-hearts and enjoying a sunny Florida afternoon in Fernandina Beach gallery hopping and scarfing down some awesome barbecue at the Happy Tomato Café (highly recommended if you are ever in Fernandina!). Gypsy’s visit was definitely food for the soul for me.

Gypsy (otherwise known as Lizz Hundley) is a wonderfully free spirit, making her way in the world while living life to the fullest each and every moment. I’ve been trying to do that more lately, too. In case you haven’t read my comment in my Dodging Curve Balls post, I got good news from the surgeon Monday, so I’m going to be fine for now. Dr. H met with the radiologist and pathologist again and decided that sometimes radiologists and pathologists are a little too quick to recommend further surgery in cases like mine. He wants to wait a bit and re-evaluate in six months. I’m glad Dr. S sent me for that surgery consult as a second opinion.

These past few weeks have made me slow down a bit, though, and I think that’s good. Between this little health scare and learning of a friend’s death by a massive heart attack at the ripe old age of 39, I’ve definitely taken a step back from my usual going in eight different directions. When we started the February Finish-a-thon, my “I can do anything” self took over. I definitely didn’t need to add another thing to my plate, but I went ahead and signed on anyway with the goal of creating a new affordably priced pendant line in preparation for the kickoff of the Riverside Arts Market April 4. Well, today’s February 20 and I haven’t made a one. Heck, I haven’t even gotten around to photographing all the new pieces I finished in November and December! My workshop has been sorely neglected. But I’ve decided that that’s really okay (and that seems to be a realization hitting a few of us right now). Yep, I’ve decided that’s just fine because what I have been doing instead? Just hanging out…and I’ve really been needing to just hang out. I’ve been hanging out with DH and the girls…hanging out on the dock looking at the river…hanging out with my furry four-legged friends…hanging out with all the art currently leaning against the walls of my great room waiting for me to rehang it all…hanging out with my students on Facebook (I actually had to learn Facebook for work!). I’ve been moving at a snail’s pace, and it’s been nice.

blue-doorI’ve been keeping up with our running comments on the February Finish-a-thon post. Obviously, since I’ve made zero progress, I haven’t had much news to post, but I’ve tried to be encouraging to the rest of you. I have noticed one thing coming through though. This is truly an incredible group of women, but from my prospective anyway, I think we all have “superwoman disease.” We think we can do it all, and we get frustrated with ourselves, our self-imposed deadlines, and our self-inflicted failures and misgivings when life gets in the way (okay, go ahead and throw darts at me if you think I’m wrong 🙂 ).

I refuse to do that anymore. Life should not be what gets in the way. Life should be what it’s all about. It should be about taking a few days off to spend time with a good friend and go chow down on some barbecue. It should be about making up stories about the things we see in a whimsical painting of the moon and stars while cuddling up with our children. It should be about creating simply for creating’s sake, not for a deadline hanging over our heads. And don’t tell me you can’t do this because you’re too busy dealing with the kids, ladies…we’re all in that boat together. Sure, sometimes deadlines are necessary, and I’m not knocking the idea at all; I think it was a good one to give a kick in the pants if needed. But for me a deadline takes all the joy out of creating. It becomes a “I must do this to meet my deadline” instead of a “Hey, I wanna try this just for fun.”

There’s definitely been some good wisdom in the comments, all from different perspectives, but as I mentioned in one of my comments, something Kristine said has struck the biggest chord with me: “So I’m taking a step back and giving myself a break. I’m taking pleasure in my daily accomplishments and no longer obsessing over what I need to accomplish by the end of the month. It’s a journey, not a sprint.” Yep, it is a journey, not a sprint. I shared a John Lennon quote in my “Keeping Calm and Carrying On” post on my Happy Shack blog last week, and it bears repeating here: “Life is what happens to you while you’re too busy making other plans.” And life in general is the best part of the journey. Don’t let it be what gets in the way; make it what counts most instead. Go live it.

Feb 5

19 Comments

Kelly: Dodging Curve Balls

I’ve been having a couple of those weeks where everything comes at you at once. You know those kind of weeks? It’s been taking up so much space in my brain that I haven’t been able to think straight much less find time to sit down and create.

Two weeks ago I got a job offer out of the blue. I guess I can’t really say it was completely out of the blue because I did put in an application with the K-12 public school system, just not with this particular offer in mind. When I answered my cell, the voice on the other end said, “Kelly Warren…this is a voice from your past.” Suddenly, I felt like a Star Wars character. It was an old friend who was now the principal at one of the top magnet schools here in town, and he just so happened to have an immediate opening for a 7th grade English and language arts teacher. When I submitted my application, it was with the sole intention of seeking a position at my girls’ school, simplifying my life in that fashion being the only thing that would make the pay cut worth it. My old friend did a very hard sell on me by phone, we talked further in person the next day, and I asked him to let me interview with the committee just like any other candidate so I could do a little further investigation and soul searching. It really gave me pause, but ultimately after some long talks with DH and a few close advisors, I decided that even though it was a great opportunity, it was not the right opportunity for me right now.

Interestingly enough, the next day I was sitting in my college-wide Student Life Task Force meeting; we’re charged with determining what changes need to be made to our area as we move towards a four-year state college. We have two campus presidents on the committee. We were finalizing our recommendations for the college’s executive vice president when one of the campus presidents added, “And I think we need to put more teeth into the college-wide coordinator’s role, giving that position more authority.” Guess who that college-wide coordinator is? Needless to say, Dr. Russos (my college-wide supervisor) and I were very happy to hear that because we’ve been working on getting my position upgraded for two years to no avail. Now, we had a campus president wanting to formally add that recommendation to our request list. We finalized that list today, and the only recommendation that we didn’t make any changes to was my position upgrade…which would come with an $8,000 pay increase.

Now, as a little distraction, we’ve advertised a full-time English faculty position on my campus. I was a finalist for a full-time English faculty position at North Campus last summer, but that campus president ultimately decided she wanted someone with a doctorate and scrapped the search. The position still has not been filled. My campus president is open to someone without a doctorate and has encouraged me to apply. Those summers off sure are attractive…and come with a $12,000 pay cut. And I’ve applied. If I were to be offered the upgrade and the faculty position at the exact same moment, not sure exactly which way I’d go…but I’m leaning toward the faculty position.

And now the latest curve ball, totally unrelated to work. I’ve been blessed with the lovely experience of two mammograms in the last two weeks. The second one this past Friday brought me the news I didn’t want to hear. I have a suspicious cluster about the size of a dime in my right breast that requires a biopsy. I’m scheduled for 7am Thursday morning. I’m doing my best to remain positive and tell myself everything will be fine. Hopefully I’m just developing polka-dotted boobs. But I must admit this last bit of news has made me even more scattered-brained than I usually am. I could throw myself into a creative frenzy, but all I’ve really wanted to do is curl up on the couch with my babies. I’ve heard the old adage that the cemetery is full of people who didn’t have time to slow down and take a break. Maybe this is my cue.

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