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Cathy: Mothering & creativity put to test

After dropping 9.75-year-old S off at taekwondo camp, I got 13-year-old K into a salon to get the cockeyed layers fixed in his long hair. Warning to other moms: if your son wants long hair, stop taking him to the barber shop, take him to the salon at a few more dollars. Barbers don’t know how to deal with long hair. He’s still pretty, even after haircut. 😉 That’s what I was trying to fix. You know how baby boomers’ parents complained their hippie boys looked like girls? Well, mine really does. Mind you, it took 2 weeks to convince him, after I blurted out at last barber visit, “either grow it for Locks of Love over the summer or chop it off now.” Evidently, that was not my best parenting moment. Thank goodness, baby C slept through this morning’s ordeal after the talk down. I swear K gets suicidal over a haircut. Anyway, mission accomplished, his hair is more skater than girlie now.

I should have eaten more breakfast: by the time we got home, I had a blood sugar crash and nearly passed out. Had the shakes while heating up frozen burritos for a protein boost lunch. Earlier, I took K out to Starbucks (how I wish there were non chain cafes here). We had some good conversation, finally, over coffeecake. As a breakfast, not great, but I really need to make special separate time with him from S on a more regular basis. We had a very interesting discussion about OPEC, supply and demand vs spec issues; and world economies, particularly the rise of a middle class in India and China and how that’s affecting the oil prices, and the fact that the Middle East’s oil supply won’t last forever, as well as oil drilling’s destruction of the Delta in Gulf of Mexico as a contribution to Katrina damages, etc. He’s really a neat guy. If he weren’t so shy about public speaking, I can totally see him run for president. He sure has strong opinions about the one that “ruined his childhood.”

I pass along evidence that they don’t stay little forever. Sigh. Oh wait, thank goodness!

So, the creativity came to play in the above: 1. finding the words and approach to talk him into neatening the mane with scissors. 2. discussion of world economics with intelligent and concerned young citizen on less than 3 hours of consecutive sleep from nursing baby C last night.

Oh, and 3. the inspiration to find the words again, to write down everything that happened for this blog. Hey, it may not be great literature, but it’s a start, and keeps me dipping into the writing well. Besides, finding the right or best words is my business, whether writing them or speaking them. It is especially important, as a parent, to find them, since each kid we have has their own best mode of communication, and we have to be available to their way, not always ours alone. K has always been like speaking with another adult, even when he was 2. With his brother S, I have to be very particular about how I say what needs to be conveyed, and with their sister, baby C, there’s a whole lot of pattycake going on.

Whether I am conscious of it happening or not at the time, I can see how my creative side is more active than I may initially have been aware.

5 Comments Post a comment
  1. bbrunophotography's avatar

    Cathy, time passes quickly, and those individual outings with each child are making memories. As for writing it all down…I started writing in a plain old spiral notebook the year my firstborn entered the world. I kept it up because it was such a good outlet, and now I have a boxful of dated journals. It’s interesting to read back and see what was going on in my life. My “babies” are now in their early thirties!

    June 26, 2008
  2. Cathy's avatar
    Cathy #

    thanks for the idea, photo buffet! i admit, when S was little, i wrote his milestones on the wall calendar. that was all i could manage at the time. K has a baby book, incomplete, but he has one. but neither S or C does. i’m not totally killing myself over it, though i could if i allowed myself that guilt.

    June 26, 2008
  3. cathy jennings's avatar
    cathy jennings #

    i think being a parent takes alot of creativity. i think creativity presents itself in new ways now that i am a parent.

    i have a calendar full of milestones for ian and the baby book that i am trying to transcribe it to. he is now 5 years old. another thing i am doing is writing stories for him about how he was born, funny visits to the dr, funny things he said and did, etc. stuff that i am sure i won’t remember all of and think he may someday want to know.

    and i also have a cookbook idea started. all of ian’s favorite foods with someday photos added of him helping to cook or eatting the food.

    nothing is quite finished but always growing.

    June 26, 2008
  4. Miranda's avatar

    I was recently feeling guilty on the baby book topic–I wanted to do one for #5, but realized I hadn’t done one at all for #4 (now 3 years old) and it wouldn’t be exactly fair to skip just one child! Better skip BOTH of the little ones and then I can chalk it up to lack of bandwidth.

    I’ve started doing something that satisfies my desire to keep a record as well as the need to be creative: I have a blank sketch journal that I use for my daily haiku, one page a day. (I actually draft the haiku on my computer, and when I’m satisfied with it, I transfer it to the sketchbook.)

    In addition to the haiku, at the bottom of the page I note things of interest that happened that day–I try for one little sentence for each child. Sometimes it comes out like Facebook or Twitter updates: “James is practicing his guitar in the living room, Justine is in the kitchen starting another late-night baking project”–that kind of thing, a snapshot of the moment. Sometimes the haiku itself is a record of the day’s highlight; sometimes it isn’t related to anything.

    I write the poem and my journal-type notes in black ink, sometimes within creative doodles and designs. I chose a journal with heavyweight (#100) paper so that I could also paint in it or glue in remnants of the day–a bit of wrapping paper and ribbons from a gift just received, set in a pattern around the poem; an interesting envelope, a photo, etc. In this way I suppose it turns into a scrapbook of sorts, but I am no scrapbooker and I want it to stay very freeform and unintimidating. Mainly, I want it to feel like art, not obligation. If I miss a day, or have a day with only a poem and no notes, that’s fine too.

    The book is also spiral bound, which helps as I can lay it flat or balance it on one leg while I do that nursing/multitasking thing. At the moment I am not able to “illustrate” every page, but I look forward to going back and adding a bit of art to older pages once I have a little more time on my hands. In the meantime, this book feels like a great way to be minimally creative, and also record important milestones as well as daily nothingness. It’s not my journal — I do have one of those as well — but it’s something of a splash page for daily life.

    June 26, 2008
  5. Cathy's avatar
    Cathy #

    wow, miranda, that’s ambitious in my book! i guess that’s what you do while i’m gardening and you’re not. here’s some jealousy sent your way…..

    June 26, 2008

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