Alana: A new job
Life is all about phases. Once I was the burning-the-candle-at-both-ends-highly-motivated-successful-career-girl, and then I became the sleep-deprived-slobber-covered-breeding-feeding-weary-worn-stay-at-home-mum. And now, as of tomorrow, I will become — wait for it — a PART-TIME WRITER!!
OK, the full title is full-time-mum-and-maker-of-my-husband’s-sandwiches-and-housekeeper-and-part-time-writer, but when I’m asked I might just stick to the last part. A new phase in our lives begins, and although I mourn the loss of what we have, I run full speed ahead to a new life. For three years my toddler has been mine, and we have been free, but this week she begins playschool 5 mornings a week. I have cared for my baby constantly for the precious 15 months of her life, but now I will have a childminder to look after her three mornings a week. I’m scared and I’m a little sad. But, I am going to write. I can hardly contain my joy. I burst little sniggers from my mouth. My mind jumps from list to adoringly written list to decide what shall be my first task. I feel new life breathing into my fuzzy brain. It’s only ten hours a week, but they are MY ten hours. Mine all mine. Ten hours! How many words can I write in ten hours? How many emails can I send? How many blogs can I read? How many blogs can I write? How many articles can I devise, and pitch and write and send? How much money can I earn? OK, the answer to the last question is probably not very much, but who cares? Who cares when I have ten whole glorious, gluttonous, gigantic hours to write? My ‘business plan’ shines out like gold on my pin-board and I check and re-check my breakdown of hours.
I love being a mum. It’s everything I thought and 1,000 times more. But I miss me. And for ten whole hours I get me again. So fellow writers, as you settle down to work tomorrow, feel me in your ranks…. And listen out for the sound of my pencils being sharpened. It’s the first task on my list.
Studio Mothers: Life & Art 