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Posts tagged ‘work’

Jun 9

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News Tribune: The art of being a mom

dancing_momThe News Tribune online profiles four Tacoma, WA-based mothers with arts careers (a dancer, a photographer, a pianist, and a director) to explore “what it’s like to juggle two demanding passions: your children and your art. For each, patience and creativity come into play.” Says one mother:

“Being in any of the arts is all-consuming. You’re always trying do things with the music, to think about it. When I became a mother, I didn’t have that luxury to think about it all the time. My daughter was my priority now, and music started to take a back seat – and what I learned was to be more spontaneous. You have to think faster, because you have a performance in a few days and you can’t practice hours and hours anymore! It taught me to have a little more fun, not to worry about every little thing.”

An interesting take on how women in various disciplines manage life and art. You can read the full piece here. (Photo by Janet Jensen, The News Tribune.)

May 26

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Miranda: Decision time

I have the good fortune of working from home. At least, I thought it was good fortune. But my husband and I have spent much of this holiday weekend reviewing our budget.

While I’ve continued to add more babysitting hours to each week, last month I let go of a long-term retainer client (parting was overdue) and the recent arrival of baby #5 has put a serious crimp in my work life. Sure, I can type on my laptop with one hand while nursing the little one, but I can’t attend onsite meetings and even conference calls are a major challenge. Then of course there’s the utter exhaustion occasional fatigue associated with newborn care. And if you read my previous post, you’ll know that I’m trying to focus more on my family and creativity and less on things that don’t really matter.

We can throw into this mix the budget-busting gasoline and heating oil bills we’re all well too familiar with–and the fact that everything is just more expensive than it used to be. The numbers add up to the reality that my professional life is only worth maintaining if I’m going to work at the level I’ve been working at–and then some. Scaling back means barely breaking even. The combination of my babysitter (not cheap, but excellent), my editorial assistant, the other freelancers I hire, and the regular business overhead all adds up to A LOT of money. A lot more than I realized. (Even though I’M the one who manages the finances at our house. Apparently “manages” was an overstatement of the operation.)

That said, I do need to bring in a minimum net number, however I figure out the income/expense balance. How am I going to get there? Losing my assistant is not an option I can entertain. I need her in order to maintain my two current retainer clients; if I had to do all of her work as well as my own I would have a nervous breakdown. I see that I can’t maintain the luxury of a babysitter three days a week (and she does a lot of work in the house as well). I often use babysitting time for personal writing projects, errands, exercising, and non-work-related appointments, as well as goofing off. I’ve become quite used to this convenience, but that has to go. I’m worried about how my sitter will take the news that I need to cut her hours back, but I don’t think it’s avoidable.

I have to make sense of the situation quickly, because we need to decide what we’re going to do about the contingent offer we have on new construction that comes up for renewal in one week–and our financial details are paramount. I think these are the three options:

a) Continue working at my previous level and beyond, which means soliciting more work (something I’ve never had to do before). Keep sitter three days. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: more earning potential; more flexible schedule; a bit of time for creativity, maintain professional standing and client relationships. Cons: a lot more stress; too much time away from kids; very difficult to manage with a new baby.

b) Limit work to the two current retainer clients, cut sitter down to one day and work an hour each morning while husband is home. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: less emphasis on work; lots more time with the kids. Cons: much less flexibility in scheduling; creative time evaporates.

c) Chuck the whole business, buy a smaller house, become a fulltime SAHM.

Right now I am really leaning toward the second option. I just don’t want to work like I’ve been working–not while the babies are so young. I miss how things were when my three older kids were little; for many years I didn’t work at all and was able to focus entirely on the family and house. On the other hand, downsizing with five kids (option c) would be a domestic challenge I’m not sure I’m up for.

What I want to absolutely avoid: a situation where I have lots of high-pressure work and not enough babysitting coverage. I don’t want that kind of stress, and it’s not fair to the kids.

Does anyone see any other options? Am I missing something? What would you do?

May 8

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Christa: My life, my work

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working on an article for one of the trade magazines I worked for before I had children. I don’t do much of this anymore. I learned early on that I could only write articles when I could be sure that sources would be patient with the possibility of hearing little voices in the background, and for the most part, I couldn’t be sure of that at all.

Last December, I did manage to write a strong article using two sources that had no problem hearing little voices. (It helped that my in-laws were available to watch the boys one of the days, and that my husband had a 10-day school vacation.) The experience was so good that I thought maybe I could write more articles. So when a friendly source emailed at the end of February to ask if I’d work with him again, I jumped at the chance.

And it went great, as I expected. He’s a great source. He’s fun to talk to (even a little flirtatious, which does wonders for my self-image even underneath the kid-crusts and unwashed hair). And he’s incredibly well-connected and helpful. This time around, in fact, he set me up with all the sources I needed. I didn’t even have to make first contact, and I didn’t have to wait on people. He forwarded my emails. He stayed on top of them.

Which turned out to be absolutely critical to my being on time. By the time my husband’s April school vacation rolled around, I realized I’d hardly started this article. (The source’s schedule was as much to blame as mine.) But he honored my request to wrap it up that week, while I had childcare, and so did his contacts. The weekend after I completed his and another interview (and got two emailed replies to my questions), Puck came down with a 103F fever, and I had a house showing two days before the article was due. One of my last interviews was done in the car while Hamlet stood outside, drenching my window with water from the hose.

Yet I got it done on time. And realized that in general, I cannot write any more articles until both children are in school.

Which is a damn shame. Along with the kick I get from being flirted with (not the first time this has happened with a source, though rare), I really do get a charge from writing articles on public safety, a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I recognized this today especially, when I woke up out of gas, moved through the day like frozen molasses (much to my older boy’s chagrin), and then–at the end of the day, my worst time–magically improved as I spoke to one of my editors on a different topic.

I need to work. I need to interact with adults on very specific topics–I need to feel competent as a human being before I can feel competent as a mother. And I need to create. Would that my sons were both happy to hang out on their own while I talk on the phone for an hour, but they aren’t. It will be at least another year before I can find that fulfillment. But at least now I know it isn’t completely dead.

Feb 14

3 Comments

Struggling…trying…

Since I had to go back to work full-time about two years ago, I have not been nurturing my creative writing career. When I write for work, I find it hard to find the brainspace for my creative writing. That and, as a single mom of three kids (one not-self-driven and applying to colleges), I’m just so darned busy.

In the past few months, I’ve been able to cut my hours back some, and more recently, I’ve resolved to set aside at least a few hours on Thursdays for my own work. There always seems to be something that encroaches on the time, but for the second week in a row I am at least doing some of the business of writing if not the writing itself.

Last week I spent the morning preparing submissions for a contest. Granted, I hadn’t written anything new for a while, but I had a stack of stories I’d never submitted anywhere that fit the contest category. While it wasn’t as grand an accomplishment as writing a new story or finishing revising the epic essay I’ve been working on, it was something, and for now that’s all I can ask of myself.

Today, I am spending the morning doing pitches for a column in which I’ve been published in the past (the last time a year ago). Hanging over me is an article I need to edit for the publication I work on, as well as the oil-change in my car, the shopping and packing I need to do for a ski trip this weekend (as well as aforementioned epic essay revision), and a half hour on the StairMaster, but I’m determined to at least get this out and have it be killer. Not so easy, but at this point any small steps I can take are better than what’s been going on creatively with me for the past couple of years.

Of course, the fact that I’m writing this post on a Thursday morning tells you a little bit about my ability to procrastinate. Oh, let’s put a positive spin on that and say that I am actually processing what I’ve written so far so I can go back and refine it…

Jan 16

6 Comments

Miranda: Help! Something awful is happening

helpneeded.jpgOK, so I’m gaining momentum. A lot of momentum. My 150 pages of material are really turning into something viable. The first few chapters are readable drafts. I’m networking like mad, developing my third wave of interviewees, with success. I’m reading books that are feeding my writing. I’m revising a short story I wrote last year to submit in the Iowa contest. Even this blog is gaining traction–yesterday was our best traffic day yet with 62 page views. (Not bad for a blog that’s just over two weeks old.)

But here’s the thing. The more involved I am in my creative life, and the more sure-footed my efforts become, the more resentful I am of my day job. (I mentioned in a comment to Lisa’s post below that I’m prone to resentment, an unattractive trait.) I know, boo hoo–I have to work, like most everyone else–and I’m one of the lucky ones; I run my own business, don’t work full-time, and I set my own hours working mainly from home. Plus, my work is tangentially related to my creative life, and I make good money at what I do. I really have nothing to complain about. Most importantly, not working is not an option, so I need to make the best of it.

But there it is, every day I wake up and start getting grumpy about the fact that I have to work, doing things that are useful and appreciated by my clients, but aren’t my life’s calling. I dread working. True, at the moment I’m dealing with some unusually unrewarding client work, which is pretty stressful. But obsessing about not wanting to work, and focusing on the current unpleasantness, is tainting the creative time that I do have. My resentment is putting me in a funk, when instead I should be grateful for my flexible work situation, focused on my progress, and excited about where things are headed. Not sure how to snap out of it. I don’t have much time left if I’m going to finish this book before May, and I can’t fritter away my energy in negativity like this. Plus, I’m likely to start resenting my family next. (Especially since they’re all sick at the moment.)

Has anyone else dealt with this before? Maybe someone should just smack me and tell me to get a grip and toss the tiara. Suggestions heartily appreciated.

Jan 6

6 Comments

Christa: The week behind, the week ahead

I shouldn’t have worried so much last week. The loose schedule Miranda suggested – kids by day, work at night – worked very well to boost my productivity. What had been happening was that I would get so anxious about all the stuff I had to get done that I would try to do it during the day. Then the kids would need me and I would be short with them. At night, still anxious, I would goof off. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Deciding that daytime would be for the kids, while night would be for work, was surprisingly effective. I still work a little during the day – I’m pathologically introverted, and I just can’t be “on” every moment, so I need little breaks to come on the computer – but I now decide what work I need to accomplish in the evening, and then I do it. I actually completed things pretty much on time!

The one thing I found tricky was that half-hour of fiction time in the evenings. Depending on how the day has gone with the kids, they might settle in nicely with Daddy… or not. One evening when I had more like 45 minutes, I chose to do the dishes with that time. I can’t figure out why, as it was a conscious choice between that and writing. I think part of it was that I wanted to drown the noise out for a little while, plus I didn’t feel like facing dishes the next morning. But really what I should have done was go upstairs and hide in my bedroom.

Still – I can’t help feeling guilty about that. Rain Dog has had a long day at work too, and when he’s not up for wrangling both kids by himself, I feel like I should be helping… even when I’m drained and out of kid ideas, too.

This week will see me continue to tweak that particular part of the daily routine. I got some great time on Saturday to finish one chapter in the new novel and start another. Those characters are coming together and I really want to spend more time with them. Additionally, I have a couple of short stories I want to finish and start submitting. We’ll see how that all goes.

As for freelance work, I have to finish page proofs for Shroud (they’re done; I just have to type them in). I need to get cracking on an article I’m writing that’s due February 1, along with an editing job and another project due the same day (all for the same magazine). So it will be a busy week, but I’m confident now that I can accomplish plenty.

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