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Posts tagged ‘schedule’

Jun 16

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Brittany: Bringing Plans to Fruition

I’ve made a couple attempts to write a blog on here recently, and they just didn’t pan out. The last few months have been an odd combination of being at a complete creative standstill while still running 90-miles an hour with my hair on fire. I haven’t had time to breathe, much less blog. Luckily, the creative standstill has passed, and like Bethany, I too have been gifted with the idea for my next novel.

I say “gifted,” because I’m not exactly sure where the idea came from. One minute I was sitting in the car, and the next, it was uncoiling itself in my head, much like a spider spinning a web. This circles around to this, this connects to that. It was amazing and exhilarating, and felt a little bit like being touched by the divine.

I’ve been frustrated with my current novel, How Home Improvement Saved My Marriage, because it’s a little absurdist, and doesn’t really fit into any of the various categories of women’s lit.  The agents and publishers who’ve seen it couldn’t relate to it. But then again, I didn’t write it for them. I wrote it for women like me, who live in the suburbs, shop at Walmart, have never seen a pair of Jimmy Choos in person, and would rather wear a scuffed pair of Keds anyway. The book is like my zaniest mom friend. The one you hope and pray gets a sitter on Bunco night because she’ll fill you in on all the neighborhood gossip and then say something incredibly funny that will make you laugh harder than you have for days. It needs to be out there, dancing on a table with a lampshade on its head, and not collecting dust in my file cabinet. So I decided I’d send it out to one last publisher, and if they didn’t accept it, I was just going to publish the book myself.

Since I’d come to a final decision about my book, my creative brain was a blank slate, so to speak. I was thinking about writing a romance novel (again, just to see if I could do it), and was asking myself what situation might make a good story. I was thinking about the kinds of characters that would interest me, and the image of a girl with hair “the color of a wheat penny” popped into my head. She was a healer/midwife in turn-of-the-20th-century Appalachia, who has her whole way of life turned on its head when a brand new graduate of Harvard Medical School decides to open up his practice on her side of Bear Wallow Mountain. I was trying to think about what big event might bring two antagonists together (because I didn’t have a BIG event in my previous novel), and I suddenly remembered family stories about a terrible flood in the region. And so popped up my new idea.

In 1916, Ivy Lyda (name subject to change) lives on Bear Wallow Mountain and tends to the sick there. Her grandmother was Cherokee and taught her all manner of folk remedies. She’s well respected in her neck of the woods until the arrogant (but intoxicatingly handsome) doctor John Emerson arrives  During the summer, a horrible (hundred-year) flood wrecks havoc in the mountains and forces them to work together even as their lives are put in danger.

By a very odd coincidence, shortly before I was struck with inspiration, I took a time-killing Facebook quiz to learn the name of my Guardian Angel. My result: Uriel.

Uriel is considered one of the wisest Archangels because of his intellectual information, practical solutions and creative insight, but he is very subtle. You may not even realize he has answered your prayer until you’ve suddenly come up with a brilliant new idea. Uriel is the tallest and his eyes can see trough the eternity. All this considered, Uriel’s area of expertise is divine magic, problem solving, spiritual understanding, studies, alchemy, weather, earth changes and writing. Considered to be the Archangel who helps with earthquakes, floods, fires, hurricanes, tornadoes, natural disaster and earth changes, call on Uriel to avert such events or to heal and recover in their aftermath.

I hope to get started on the writing soon. I’ve arranged for childcare for the boys Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 9-1 until the second week of July. I’m going to take my time outlining and really make the plot as tight as I can first. It will make it that much easier in the fall when I must concentrate my writing into two mornings per week (with invariable interruptions).

It’s exciting to have a plan again.

Dec 23

10 Comments

Mary: December Thoughts

I should be writing Christmas cards, but frankly I’d much rather be here in my darkened study, whiling away the time spinning words around. It was a long, sort of difficult day, with my six-year-old boy having a bad cough, and so not being able to romp around in the snow outside.

It kept us quite house-bound. We did a lot of playing, some arguing, some movie-watching, some running around like crazy people, and generally climbed the walls until bedtime.

Now I relax here in this comfortable seat and relish the silence. Funny how such life, such energy and immersion can be so stimulating and exhausting at once. I love these small people so dearly, and yet breathe a small sigh of relief once the house is quiet for the evening, and I can once again write in peace, with no interruptions, with no noise, no questions or incessant tappings on the shoulder.

I think about the new year coming, and hope that I can get some good work done – that this new year brings a snap of newly starched sheets to my rather burdensome creation, this book, this relentlessly unmade, rumpled bed of a project.

I know I speak harshly of it, for which I do apologize, book. I do love thee. But you are becoming heavy on my back — although I suppose that is my perception of you, and not at all a reflection of you personally. I think, actually, I’m putting all these feelings on myself.

For one thing, it is NOT good practice to give myself deadlines. It just makes me feel all the more despondent when I don’t meet them. For example, I was bragging talking to my friends and acquaintances about how I thought it would be completed by the end of this year. HA.

(Isn’t it funny how life always deals out a blow after one has been bragging? “Oh, yeah? Take that!” says Life, as it fills up your glass with a dose of humility, plopping in a tablet of irony, for good measure. And you are sorely humbled. And also sort of embarrassed. And wanting to just slink away home with a blanket over your head, for a nice cup of tea and some good old fashioned self-pity. What? You don’t do that? Ah. Well. ANYWAY).

In essence, I hope the new year brings all good things – a hope, I suppose, all people around the world have. But, what of this new year? What if it doesn’t deliver? What if I simply don’t have the time to finish? What if I am constantly bombarded with interruptions, with parenting, with the day-to-day happenings that constitute a bustling and living household?

If I am to make any headway on this project, I fear I must schedule — a thing I really hesitate doing, because it’s another sort of added pressure. But if I don’t, if I just let the whole thing go where it wants to, I’m afraid that I won’t get enough done. So, here is a tentative schedule, tied up with a nice red ribbon, just in time for Christmas:

Writing times:

6:30 a.m.: I can get in about a half an hour to 45 minutes, if I start this early. It might be worth it. If I could just get out of bed.

1:00 p.m.: When Liv naps, I write. ON THE BOOK. Write for one hour, or until she wakes up.

8:00 p.m. -10:00 p.m.: After everyone is in bed, write – blogs, book, whatever I am inspired to do.

Of course, there are always those days when I’ll have more time, and also some days less. But this might be a good, basic plan for those “regular” days, when we are all running on our daily rhythm, and buzzing about knowing where we are going, and when we are getting there.

It seems like it might work out. It’s worth a try.

D’ya hear that, book? I’m with you on this. I’m on your side. I want you to be whole, complete, happy, read, loved. I am your partner, your hand to hold, your wooer, your teammate — your mother, for God’s sake. Don’t abandon me, not yet. Stick with me through this frisky, wild-eyed new year.

Let’s make it a good one.

Nov 10

8 Comments

Cathy: I miss my kids

K, hanging -- what you don't see are the 10 HS girls just outside the frame

This whole juggling creativity and kids thing is swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction lately. I am, if not actively writing in my manuscript, doing some research re: astronomy and observatories online, albeit while also hopping blogs, etc. I have been regularly contributing to the weekly contest, to keep me on my toes creatively, and writing a blog per week, which usually means I am analyzing how the writing process is going for the manuscript. I have been accused by my family of spending more time with the computer than anyone else does.

My young teen has started becoming more interested in hanging out in a neighborhood clique after school than in playing video games. That is fantastic in my book, except that I don’t see as much of him. When he comes home, he zips upstairs to shower before dinner, do homework, and after dinner, he disappears upstairs again. I knew this was coming, as I remember doing the same at the same age, but he’s really adept at it. I think he’s in the room with me, so I start talking, while doing something else, of course. I turn to check if he’s listening, and he’s become invisible!

On fishing trip -- S draws instead

On fishing trip -- S draws instead

S, the 10-year-old, is on a bender lately, too, secluding himself to draw comics of space adventures. Now part of this is because he keeps losing TV and video game privileges until his room is clean and stays that way. I will not spend another valuable weekend afternoon on that project again.

Baby C is generally in my arms while I’m typing away at the PC, but I can’t help feeling like I could be doing more with her. Yes, I do play with her, too, but you know, she’ll probably be typing soon herself at this rate. I’ve also started leaving her home with her grandma more often lately so I can accomplish more of the errands than I can by bringing her along. That in and out of the baby seat business and strollering her here and there is exhausting and time consuming, Therefore, I can double or better errand capacity without her, as I’m no longer nursing exclusively and she can eat food and drink juice.

Baby C -- naptime, not on me

Baby C -- naptime, not on me

It’s nice that it has been relatively quiet for writing, and I’ve been accomplishing more as an independent person. However, I can’t help feeling like I need to be with my kids more than I have been lately.

So, my plans for the weekend, most likely past as you read this, is to amp up some indie time with each and some family fun. Friday night, I am taking S without taking anyone else to a special needs kids event at a local zoo, maybe get to pet some of the animals. Saturday, I am making Honey take S on a fishing trip in the morning with dads/stepdads and their aspies, while I take K to a café for some face time while, hopefully, Baby C naps. Sat. afternoon, we’re getting together with some of the families from our aspie group, so S gets ‘peer interaction,’ K gets to hang with some friends, and frankly, so do we, as parents. Sunday, I think we’ll have a relatively lazy day at home. I want to talk the guys into playing a game or doing a puzzle all together. But Honey still needs to mow that lawn! I’ll comment an update if my plans went off without a hitch or derailed.

When Monday rolls back around, I will get back to my writing better, refreshed by the love of my family. Right — as long as the usual chaos doesn’t overtake us.

Oct 23

11 Comments

What are you doing tonight at 10:04?

Are you one of the many mothers who make the most of the evening hours after all the kids are in bed? Maximizing the later hours of the day may in fact be an excellent strategy, according to the results of a new research study. Forget the early bird; the most likely time of day for a creative breakthrough is 10:04 p.m. As reported by the UK’s Daily Mail:

Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise.

So goes the old proverb, but research now suggests that if you want to be the wisest, you really need to stay up — well, until 10.04 pm at least.

This is supposedly the best time for a eureka moment, according to research. [A]round a quarter of us feel we formulate our most cunning plans when we are burning the midnight oil, the survey of 1,426 adults found.

By contrast, despite what many managers may believe, daytime in the office is not conducive to blue-sky thinking. The afternoon…is when an overwhelming 98% of those polled say they feel most ‘uninspired’.

The creativity drought just gets worse over the nine to five working day, hitting rock bottom at 4.33 pm.

When asked about methods they use to get their creative juices flowing, 44% said they took a shower.

Unfortunately for mankind, even when we do get a stroke of genius more than half of our ideas are lost forever.

When inspiration strikes, 58% of us fail to write the idea down immediately and forget it….Women were better than men at jotting down their best ideas for posterity.

A third of over-35s chose to scribble the thought on the back of their hand, perhaps having learnt from experience how forgetful they are. The findings echo an Italian study in 2006 that found those who stay up late have the most original ideas.

Night owls came up with the most creative thoughts — perhaps because they are more likely to be unconventional and bohemian than early birds — according to the research by the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Milan.

So, if you like to stay up late and squeeze in a bit of creative time, take a look at the clock when you hit your groove. It might just be 10:04. Oh, and if you have a great idea, write it down — preferrably on a piece of paper!

Oct 16

17 Comments

Miranda: Getting my #%^&* together

It’s been a long time since I last posted a personal entry. Regular readers of this blog will know that I spent the last two months under an intense pile of client projects and had little bandwidth to do anything else. I have finally — and gratefully — emerged from under the mountain. I should now be able to get all of my work done on my two full workdays each week plus an hour or two of client e-mail and quick projects on the other three weekdays.

It’s time to take a little inventory and get back to my two main priorities: family life and finishing my nonfiction book.

The Current Condition

What’s my current landscape? We’ve settled into some kind of new routine and I’ve adapted to my preschooler’s pickup schedule. I have to leave every day at 11:30 to get him — but my husband takes him to school, so I don’t have to do both legs. The pickup takes 45 minutes in total, which does eat into my two workdays. But I try to use some of that car time for phone calls.

All five kids are in good places at the moment; no real issues or crises. That said, the 5-month-old doesn’t yet sleep more than three or four hours at a stretch during the night, which obviously means that I’m a little tired, but I’m usually able to just deal with it. I do have to pay some attention to my oldest son’s college application process and all that that involves. Toilet training with the 3.5-year-old is not going well at all (in fact we’ve regressed) but my husband and I are launching a new strategy this weekend (putting him back in underwear and then totally laying off the pressure, rather than keeping him in pull-ups and laying on the pressure), which we’ll commit to for a month. But nothing is going on beyond the usual parenting agenda. In fact, the household is in a pretty happy place right now. My husband and I are in a great place and we’ve had a nice long run without blended family conflict. In fact, there have been some very positive developments on the domestic front.

I’m also trying to up my fitness level — running at least twice a week and hoping to get back to my 4-6 mile runs three to four times a week before too long. I’m making progress. Yesterday I had a terrific run and really felt strong the whole time.

Our house is still on the market, but showings are infrequent and I’m able to keep my perspective. I no longer agonize over what will happen if we stay and how much I want to move; things are workable where we are and I will just make the best of it. At some point I realized that I have to get on with it and not wait for the house issue to be resolved; in this economy it could easily take us another year or longer to sell.

The only other significant time drain at the moment is the election. We’re an avidly political family and I  have to get my evening fix of political shows on cable. I often multitask with the laptop during this time, but I do look forward to enjoying other schedule options post-election.

So, not much to complain about. Guess I’ll have to rely on Cathy’s 24 ways to avoid your manuscript if I need an excuse to procrastinate. But of course, I don’t need any more excuses. It’s time to finish the book and get on with my stew pot of other creative projects.

The Plan

My nonfiction proposal is being shopped by an agent, but as I’ve said here before, if we have no takers I will self-publish. I can’t let the manuscript languish while waiting to sell it. If I end up selling the thing when it’s already near completion, and the editor wants to make substantive changes (as would be expected with a nonfiction ms), I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Time to commit to the work with a concrete roadmap.

On Monday I made some calculations. My manuscript is currently 53K words long. I estimate that I need another 40K-50K to finish. Seeing as I’m working from a fairly comprehensive outline, the writing comes quickly when I’m actually writing (or, I should say, quickly for me — compared to writing fiction). I can probably count on writing 1,000 words in four hours. I’ll round that up to five hours just to have some margin for the remaining research, etc. Now comes the sticky part.

If I spend five hours a week on my book, I will finish the first draft in a year. If I double that and eke out 2,000 words a week, I will finish by the end of April. That’s a little more appetizing, wouldn’t you say?

Where am I going to get 10 hours a week? At first glance it’s hard to see, but I know it’s really a matter of priorities. How is it that I can be so committed to keeping this blog going, for example, but not show the same level of commitment with my manuscript? Since we started the weekly creativity contest, I’ve never missed posting the Wednesday winner post, even though it sometimes takes well more than an hour of work the night prior or early that morning. Tomorrow I will post our 20th Breakfast interview — a weekly project that sometimes takes three hours of work or more. But I would never miss that deadline, even if I’m up until well past midnight staging the post.

As my cousin Charlotte rightly pointed out over coffee on Tuesday, the blog involves a lot of other people, and I hold myself accountable. That’s why I am able to stay up late at night preparing a post when it wouldn’t occur to me to spend those same hours on my manuscript. True, I can also rationalize the time investment with the knowledge that the content of this blog as well as the creative social network it provides are both intrinsic parts of my book. I have no intention of cutting back on the blog, but I need to keep my eyes on the real goal: finishing my book.

While 5 hours a week seems do-able, the year-off finish line is a real party killer. A 6-month timeframe is much cheerier, but I don’t know if I’m going to have 10 hours for writing every week. I spent some time going back and forth, trying to decide which way I should commit. Charlotte suggested starting with the 5 hours for a few weeks to see how it goes, which was a practical suggestion, but seemed to rub my Superwoman instincts the wrong way (yes, I should know better). But I agreed with Charlotte in that I didn’t want to set myself up for failure by setting the bar to high.

It occurred to me that my son’s Montessori school has a schedule arrangement that I really like. Instead of having a straight pickup time (say, noon) we have a pickup window: 11:45 to noon. I have 15 minutes within which I can arrive and not be late. Every day, I appreciate that I can vary my arrival time within those 15 minutes and still be right on time. Why not apply the same forgiving structure to my ms goal? This “range” makes sense to me and allows me some wiggle room within a demanding and unpredictable schedule.

So, I have now committed to writing 5 to 10 hours every week. If I only manage 5, I have still succeeded. If I make it to 10 or more, I am simply moving that much more quickly toward my goal. I will be tracking time and wordcount to monitor my progress; adjustments will be made as needed. Each Sunday I will map out where those hours are going to come from, and add them to my Outlook calendar as I would any other appointment.

There it is. I have a plan, and I’m sticking to it. Gotta go — I have 2 hours of manuscript time to complete today. :-)

Sep 16

5 Comments

Bethany: I’ve been around

Really. I’m not dead. I’ve spent a night out drinking more glasses of wine than I have consumed in one year and I’m still paying for it. I’ve spent more hours in a car than one should in a given week. I’ve gained more responsibility at work that I care to even think about. And I’m considering weaning the Peanut sooner rather than later. I haven’t lost a single pound (maybe gained a few). And I bought a new shirt at Old Navy because I just wanted a new one.

Now that I got all that out of the way, I can give you the real scoop. The crap that I’ve been avoiding. I’m tired and still overwhelmed. That revelation no surprise to you? Me either. But I do know that the fact that I am not writing (and apparently drinking) is in direct correlation to the amount of tired and overwhelmed I am feeling. And it is a vicious cycle. For anyone that has tried to do something outside your comfort zone and takes a TON OF TIME… well you know you have to be dedicated. You have to love it. And, by God, you have to make room for it in your life. And as of tonight, I haven’t written a word in my novel in over 2 months. Maybe 3 if I am truthful about it. And it is killing me. Slowly. Softly. And hell, I cried a few tears over it last night at the bar (damn it! A crying drunk!).

But that embarrassment proves one thing. It really is bothering me that I am not writing. And I need to do something about it. Anything. So that I am not a blubbering idiot next time the Hubby and I decide to pay a sitter and go out (and have the Wine Flights at the local pub). Seriously people. By how much more did my geek factor climb because I was weeping over not writing at a bar? A BAR! [shaking my head] No need to tell me, I know how it sounds. And, regretfully, I know how it looks. Thank God my husband is also one who believes in dreams. And gets me. So, he just bought me a shot, gave me a hug, and told me he loved me. Then, as quick as I took that shot, I told him we needed to go home before I got sick.

So, today, after a bottle of ibuprofen and a long afternoon nap with the baby to rid myself of a hangover, I’m writing. Not the book (hell, that’s too much effort. I’m still recovering!). But at least a blog post. And a book review. I’m dusting off the virtual files for the book. So tomorrow, I can make grand plans. And write. I hope. But, let’s not let the doubt creep in. That just makes for more pressure. And right now, my head has all the pressure it can take (hangovers are a bitch).

[Cross-posted from Mommy Writer Blog. Thanks, Bethany!]

Sep 4

20 Comments

Cathy: School days, school days, dear old….

Woe is me...first day of fourth grade

Woe is me...first day of fourth grade

I’m going to sound hypocritical here, but I’m humming the old tune as I practically push my boys out the door on their first day of school. I know I bemoaned their being out of the house when they were away at their father’s this summer, but this is different. They will be home by 2:45 and 3:45, respectively. So, I get to hum a little old fashioned tune if I want to.

September through October has always been my favorite time of year. It was even better over a lifetime in New England, because the weather matched the sense of the year for me. The breeze’s coolness crisped the air. It may seem backwards as the leaves are falling — a sense of death and inward withdrawal should be the prevailing sentiment; but for me, this time of year always represented a chance to start anew and the promise of rebirth. This is the beginning of Mother Nature’s gestation. This time last year was when I retreated to bedrest in my gestation of Baby C, who was born this past spring. I have two April babies out of three and it was those two pregnancies that put me to bed for the winter, for similar complications. So I feel a special kinship with Mother Nature as she folds into herself for her cycle of creation.

This is my golden time for creative endeavors. Almost every new project has come at this time of year. My ideas start hopping, and popping like my mother’s old percolator on the counter, and my rice krispies when it was my first day of fourth grade. Now it is my son S’s first day of fourth grade. But his sense is more of a woe is me. Here’s the picture to prove it. But I believe deep down he loves school as much as I did and denied it, as much as his eighth-grade brother K does the same. I know with his social difficulties because of his autism, that a school day is much more difficult for him than for most. The early days are the hardest because of the transition. However, he was outside to meet the bus twenty minutes before it was due to arrive. That says something, don’t you think?

Anyway, I am taking the precious time they are in school and while Baby C naps, to really commit to knocking out this manuscript. I started this project in the fall of 2004, it’s about time. I’ve yet to let it go as so many others, so I really should finish what I started. This one feels like a baby, too. So it’s time I start growing and feeding it well: give it a daily dose of work and play. It’s time for me to get back to the excitement of the first day of school, start fresh while the ideas are hopping. Since I’m in Southeastern Virginia now, I’ll metaphorically kick up a pile of leaves, since I won’t see real ones until a bit closer to Thanksgiving. Wish me luck!

Aug 19

6 Comments

Kate: De-funking

[Editor's note: When I read the post below at Kate's blog yesterday, I knew it belonged here too. Kate graciously agreed to cross-post at Creative Construction, and she's going to post here next week to update us on her new writing routine. Brava, Kate! And if you haven't met Kate yet, it's never too late for Breakfast.]

I’ve been in such a funk this summer, which is unlike me because I love summer. I love the green and the heat (within reason) and the long days. But the days have been so very long with the two girls, and I’m always scrambling to squeeze in one more thing. I have been taking Zoë with me to work for a couple of months now, and frankly, it doesn’t work. She usually falls asleep in the car on the way there, but she wakes up after about ½ hour, and then I nurse her and put her on the floor next to my desk or hold her as I type. I share the office, which is slightly larger than a broom closet, with two other people, and while they are gracious about my crying and fussy baby, I know that they must want to wring my neck or Zoë’s neck or both of our necks. So, after another ½ hour, I pack up my things and the baby and head home. Zoë sometimes falls asleep again on the way home, only to wake up as I pull up in front of our house. By the time I nurse her again and bounce her and get her ready to fall asleep for real (whatever that means), it’s time to go pick up Stella from whatever camp I’ve enrolled her in for the week. Sometimes Zoë falls asleep for a couple of hours in the late afternoon, during which I work a little and play with Stella. Later, we have dinner, Stella showers (she has declared herself too old for baths) and we read books before bed. All of these things are accompanied by Zoë’s fussing and crying and Stella’s late-afternoon whining. (Sometimes Zoë cries so much while I’m reading to Stella that I just put her in her crib in the other room and let her wail as we make our way through the three books of the night.) When I finally get them both to sleep (about 8:30), I pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the porch and stare out at the street, semi-comatose. This is when D usually gets home. We talk for a bit and often watch an episode of The Wire, which is fabulous and heartbreaking. Then I go to bed, wake up three times to nurse Zoë, then begin the day all over again.

Things will be easier in a couple of weeks because D won’t have to coach in the evenings anymore, so he’ll be home to help with dinner and kids and bedtime. Also, I’ll be done with my job in two weeks, and that will be a relief.

But the thing I can do in order to de-funk myself is to carve out serious writing time, and I’m determined to do this. D has agreed to go into work a little late so that I can write everyday from 7-9 a.m. It’s the only way I will make progress on the essay I’ve begun. I also need to dive back into my book because I finally figured out what it is really about. If I were one of my students, I would have pressured myself into this discovery about, um, a year ago, when I finished the damn thing. In workshops I always ask them to identify for the author what the piece is really about. But I failed to heed my own advice, failed to answer my own questions. (I hate when I do this.)

But this morning while I was changing Zoë’s diaper (after waking many nights feeling despondent about my “this is no market for this” book), I realized that the book is really about learning to live with uncertainty. Having a preemie is the situation, of course, but the real story is about uncertainty, control, and having faith that I will be able to handle the unexpected. (If you haven’t read Vivian Gornick’s The Situation and the Story, you should—she’s the one who makes the distinction between a memoir’s situation and its real story.) Knowing what the book is about won’t change the perception of my book as a preemie book, of course, but it will make the book better, and this makes me feel hopeful again.

The other thing that makes me feel hopeful is that D will be back tonight (he’s been gone all weekend), and tomorrow I’ll start my morning writing. It will help snap me out of my funk. I’m sure of that.

Jun 6

5 Comments

Breakfast with Bethany

Introducing our new weekly series, “Breakfast,” where we get to know an inspiring, creative mother from the blogosphere, and be treated to a visual peek into her creative spaces. Our inaugural mom? Bethany Hiitola, “Mommy by day, writer by night.” Bon appétit! bethany_hiitola

CC: Who are you? Family inventory?
BH: Now if that isn’t a loaded question! The simple (and short) answer—a woman. Though, I know you were looking for something like the long answer. Which is inevitably more complicated. I’m still trying to find that “right” mix being a woman with life ambitions, a day job, a husband, children, pets, a house caretaker…all that stuff and balancing it somehow. Which, at this point, I think is a pipe dream sorta goal. Balance is a fictitious beast. Something always throws life in array. It’s how you react. So, I guess I am working on that. And being a good wife, mother, person. While writing a bestselling novel. I dream big, what can I say?

The hard stats are simple: I am a wife of one (34-year-old husband), mother to two (5-year-old son, 9-month-old daughter), caretaker to our pets (2 cats, 1 dog, and some rotating fish that live in a tank in my son’s room).

bedroom_deskCC: Tell us about your creative self.
BH: I’ll confess this now: I’m not a scrapbooker type person. Can’t get into it, really. Those stamping things, to make the greeting cards? Not me either. Painting? Ha! Really, my son can do better. Especially with the drawing part too. But that part of me that lived in a closet since high school? Ahhh, yes, the stuffing of the dream to write fiction into some locked dungeon. Long story.

I had to go to college and come out after 4 years with a piece of paper and some way to get gainful employment. Through all of that my “fun” writing (fiction) got lost because I was told I’d never make money doing it. Or at least that’s what my impressionable 17-year-old ears absorbed. So, I got a degree, found a gig writing, but it was for technical manuals and computer parts no one ever reads manuals for. Until I became a mom. And then suddenly this need to start doing something I enjoyed came to the forefront.

So, lunch breaks, 15 minutes of baby naptime (I worked from home until my son was 2), the doctor’s office waits—all spent writing. Sometimes in napkins, on scraps of paper, notebooks, my laptop…well, you get the idea. I write whenever and wherever I can. Big dream goal—novels.

But I am also an avid blogger, I love Twitter, I write book reviews, you can find me all over social networking spaces…and quite frankly, if I could find someone to pay me to do all that stuff (for their company or otherwise), I’d do it. Love it. Gets more of my business marketing brain spinning with new ideas, too. And that helps me all around in the whole “getting your name out there.”

CC: What are you working on?
BH: I write novels. I have two in the hopper right now. One I am going to let rest for a while (been through a few rewrites and the story is getting stale) and another new one that I’m just starting to think about. To the point that I’ll have to start writing all the time soon to get it outta my head.

POSTPARTUM EUPHORIA is the first free PDF/e-Book I offer on my website, and I’m working on another! It doesn’t quite have a title yet, but it’s about a mom that uses her magic again. After a really (really) long time, and the little hiccups that go along with it. It’s fun, short, and hopefully a bit of fun to offer regular readers of my blog (and bring new readers to the site). Not to mention show off what I can do.

living_roomLIFE AS GRETA is a serial fiction column I write in conjunction with Hybrid Mom and it is totally fun. Sorta like a choose your own adventure thing–and I add to it weekly/biweekly and readers get to offer opinions about where the story is going. Nothing like writing 500 words a week under pressure! I’ve loved the idea of serial fiction for a long time, I’m just happy I finally found a place online willing to give it a shot!

CC: What inspired you to launch a blog?
BH: I jumped on the bandwagon way back when (dates are fuzzy). And then I dropped it. Then again. And same result. Do that about three times and then I finally stuck with it. About the same time I became serious about my writing again. Purchased my domain and figured, what better way to show the world what I can do—and that’s write. I’ve been at it ever since.

The blog worked a bunch better when I was focused—thus its name: Mommy Writer. I write about being a mom, my kids, my life, writing, reading, publishing, more about my family, and then about small things that interest me online. Mostly, I’d say I’m a mom blogger with a slant to reading and writing. That sums up me. So I’m okay with what it stands for.

Truthfully, it is my warm up writing for the day. Or wind down, depending on how my day went with the kids and job. But I use the blog as a space to exercise the writing muscle. If I don’t get to write in my book, but spent 15 minutes on a blog post, at least I wrote. Some authors would say that is counter-productive, that 15 minutes could have been spent on the novel! But for me…I need to write what is on my mind first, in order to focus on the book. Without blogs, I always journaled before jumping into my latest writing project.

I’d like to think my audience is other mothers or dads, other writers, women in general. But it’s so hard to tell these days. Right now, one of the most searched terms that trigger one of my posts is: reasons not to go to work. So, who really knows who’s reading!

CC: How do you juggle a day job outside the home, two small children, a house, a marriage, AND creativity?
BH: My life is a constant balancing act. Even though I, too, get to work from home part time sometimes. Though lately… not so much. I write a ton at night. And that is when the ideas are flowing. Which, unfortunately, they aren’t right now. During these times, I stuff in a blog post during my day and hope tomorrow I have more to write about.

My husband is supportive. But mostly, if my writing doesn’t interrupt family too much. And that’s because my day job tends to bleed into home life often enough. Don’t get me wrong, someday I hope to write more than my day job. And when that happens, he’ll deal with it. (grin)

kitchenCC: Where do you do your creative work?
BH: Well here’s the low-down on where I write, but you’ll often find me writing WHEREVER I can (including in the car, doctor office, in line at the grocery store, or sending myself voicemails on my cell phone)! Yes, I am one of those…

At home, I am usually writing at my desk–though it never looks that clean. Especially since my daughter was born. I can hear her through the monitor best there. But pre-her birth…and whenever I have the house to myself (ha! Like THAT happens)…you can find me at the kitchen table or on the couch in the living room. As the weather gets ideal in the Midwest, I hope to spend a couple evenings on the back patio with a glass of wine (or three). Well, that is whenever we replace our umbrella that snapped in the last thunderstorm and dress up the table in all that Target Outdoor Life Goodness.

CC: What do your weekends look like?
BH: My weekends are like anyone else, I would imagine. At least if you are a mother. Breakfast making, family get-togethers, soccer games, sleeping late (well past 6 am, I like to hope), family time, etc. Sometimes, on rare occasions, I get to write for uninterrupted time (unlike during the week when I squeeze it in at night or around everyone else’s schedule) and my husband will take the kids. But that is typically if I am under some deadline or I am really in a story and I just “need” the time. But rare that is! My daughter is 9 months old now… I have yet to have one of these breaks (can you give my husband a nudge for me? wink, wink. Nod, nod).

CC: Where do you find inspiration?
BH: My over-extended life. My kids. Really… I write about what it is like to go nuts in love with your kids but have days where you wonder what the hell you did to get where you are NOW in life. Whether that is working a day job with kids, married, suburbia, motherhood, whatever…. it keeps me sane knowing that I am not alone. So I create characters that struggle with the same stuff I do.

CC: What do you struggle with most?
BH: Time. I manage it well (or so I am told). I mean, I guess I would have to in order to keep my family in line, hold a day job, keep a somewhat clean house (just don’t go look in my closet!), and still be able to blog regularly and write novels. But I still crave time. Specifically, uninterrupted time that isn’t at 2 am and can afford me time to write and still sleep a full 6 hours (or 8).

backyardCC: If you were having coffee with a mother of young children who wanted desperately to fit more creativity into her life, what advice would you offer?
BH: Oh boy. This is tough. I mean, as a mother, particularly of young children, there is never a moment of uninterrupted thoughts. They consume you for the first few years. Advice? Just do it. Don’t think about doing it, talk about doing it, or make plans you’ll never keep. Just do it. If it is at 2 am (like me), go ahead. No one is stopping you but yourself. Did that just sound like an infomercial for a self-help book? Wait! Maybe I have missed my calling!

Seriously, there’s no magic to any of this. Just get up and try it out. Don’t like it, try something else. And eventually, you’ll find the fun creative activity you love and you’ll do it. And love it. Even if it is scrapbooking. Or stamping. Or sewing. Or playing the piano. All of which I am terrible at (in fact never touched a piano in my life to actually play a thing)—but would love to actually DO if it were my thing. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I found the “thing” for me—a long time ago—just didn’t go for it til now.

CC: Thanks for talking with us, Bethany! We look forward to hearing more from you soon.

You can learn even more about Bethany by reading her Creative Construction blog posts!

May 26

8 Comments

Miranda: Decision time

I have the good fortune of working from home. At least, I thought it was good fortune. But my husband and I have spent much of this holiday weekend reviewing our budget.

While I’ve continued to add more babysitting hours to each week, last month I let go of a long-term retainer client (parting was overdue) and the recent arrival of baby #5 has put a serious crimp in my work life. Sure, I can type on my laptop with one hand while nursing the little one, but I can’t attend onsite meetings and even conference calls are a major challenge. Then of course there’s the utter exhaustion occasional fatigue associated with newborn care. And if you read my previous post, you’ll know that I’m trying to focus more on my family and creativity and less on things that don’t really matter.

We can throw into this mix the budget-busting gasoline and heating oil bills we’re all well too familiar with–and the fact that everything is just more expensive than it used to be. The numbers add up to the reality that my professional life is only worth maintaining if I’m going to work at the level I’ve been working at–and then some. Scaling back means barely breaking even. The combination of my babysitter (not cheap, but excellent), my editorial assistant, the other freelancers I hire, and the regular business overhead all adds up to A LOT of money. A lot more than I realized. (Even though I’M the one who manages the finances at our house. Apparently “manages” was an overstatement of the operation.)

That said, I do need to bring in a minimum net number, however I figure out the income/expense balance. How am I going to get there? Losing my assistant is not an option I can entertain. I need her in order to maintain my two current retainer clients; if I had to do all of her work as well as my own I would have a nervous breakdown. I see that I can’t maintain the luxury of a babysitter three days a week (and she does a lot of work in the house as well). I often use babysitting time for personal writing projects, errands, exercising, and non-work-related appointments, as well as goofing off. I’ve become quite used to this convenience, but that has to go. I’m worried about how my sitter will take the news that I need to cut her hours back, but I don’t think it’s avoidable.

I have to make sense of the situation quickly, because we need to decide what we’re going to do about the contingent offer we have on new construction that comes up for renewal in one week–and our financial details are paramount. I think these are the three options:

a) Continue working at my previous level and beyond, which means soliciting more work (something I’ve never had to do before). Keep sitter three days. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: more earning potential; more flexible schedule; a bit of time for creativity, maintain professional standing and client relationships. Cons: a lot more stress; too much time away from kids; very difficult to manage with a new baby.

b) Limit work to the two current retainer clients, cut sitter down to one day and work an hour each morning while husband is home. Shoot for bigger house. Pros: less emphasis on work; lots more time with the kids. Cons: much less flexibility in scheduling; creative time evaporates.

c) Chuck the whole business, buy a smaller house, become a fulltime SAHM.

Right now I am really leaning toward the second option. I just don’t want to work like I’ve been working–not while the babies are so young. I miss how things were when my three older kids were little; for many years I didn’t work at all and was able to focus entirely on the family and house. On the other hand, downsizing with five kids (option c) would be a domestic challenge I’m not sure I’m up for.

What I want to absolutely avoid: a situation where I have lots of high-pressure work and not enough babysitting coverage. I don’t want that kind of stress, and it’s not fair to the kids.

Does anyone see any other options? Am I missing something? What would you do?

May 8

2 Comments

Christa: My life, my work

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working on an article for one of the trade magazines I worked for before I had children. I don’t do much of this anymore. I learned early on that I could only write articles when I could be sure that sources would be patient with the possibility of hearing little voices in the background, and for the most part, I couldn’t be sure of that at all.

Last December, I did manage to write a strong article using two sources that had no problem hearing little voices. (It helped that my in-laws were available to watch the boys one of the days, and that my husband had a 10-day school vacation.) The experience was so good that I thought maybe I could write more articles. So when a friendly source emailed at the end of February to ask if I’d work with him again, I jumped at the chance.

And it went great, as I expected. He’s a great source. He’s fun to talk to (even a little flirtatious, which does wonders for my self-image even underneath the kid-crusts and unwashed hair). And he’s incredibly well-connected and helpful. This time around, in fact, he set me up with all the sources I needed. I didn’t even have to make first contact, and I didn’t have to wait on people. He forwarded my emails. He stayed on top of them.

Which turned out to be absolutely critical to my being on time. By the time my husband’s April school vacation rolled around, I realized I’d hardly started this article. (The source’s schedule was as much to blame as mine.) But he honored my request to wrap it up that week, while I had childcare, and so did his contacts. The weekend after I completed his and another interview (and got two emailed replies to my questions), Puck came down with a 103F fever, and I had a house showing two days before the article was due. One of my last interviews was done in the car while Hamlet stood outside, drenching my window with water from the hose.

Yet I got it done on time. And realized that in general, I cannot write any more articles until both children are in school.

Which is a damn shame. Along with the kick I get from being flirted with (not the first time this has happened with a source, though rare), I really do get a charge from writing articles on public safety, a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I recognized this today especially, when I woke up out of gas, moved through the day like frozen molasses (much to my older boy’s chagrin), and then–at the end of the day, my worst time–magically improved as I spoke to one of my editors on a different topic.

I need to work. I need to interact with adults on very specific topics–I need to feel competent as a human being before I can feel competent as a mother. And I need to create. Would that my sons were both happy to hang out on their own while I talk on the phone for an hour, but they aren’t. It will be at least another year before I can find that fulfillment. But at least now I know it isn’t completely dead.

Apr 2

Miranda: Writing between the cracks

I much enjoyed this piece at Literary Mama, written by Lily Dayton. She touches on many of the issues that we’ve discussed during the past few months. Here’s a brief excerpt from the opening:

I write between the cracks of my life, the narrow space I have left between potty training and ballet practice, laundry loads and dinner on the table by six. Because I am a stay-at-home mom, living on my husband’s post-doctoral stipend–which means we live month to month, riding on a wave of debt that always threatens to submerge us–I only have time to write when my children are sleeping or when we (rarely) have enough money to pay someone else for their care. So I write during naptime, after bedtime (eyes burning), occasionally while Savanna and Camille are outside making forts in the twisted cypress limbs (threat of distracted drivers and greasy-haired child molesters never far from my thoughts). But these cracks in the walls of my life, though hair-line, are long and deep. Within them, writing is the seam that holds everything together.

To read the article in its entirety, click here.

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