Inspired beauty from Suzi Banks Baum of Laundry Line Divine. Thank you, Suzi!

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Normally the kids are like me, strong like ox, but a nasty bug has been making its way around the community and they are stricken like chicken.

Though it’s weird to see my normally screen-free kids veg out in front of with that glazed ‘sicky’ stare, I decided to surrender to the novelty of it; letting them do nothing at all other than quiet activities and naps while I dove into my projects in my studio while stopping every few moments to warm up soup, make more tea, and assist with many, many tea pees.

I have to admit I fought it at first and was grumpy, a little anxious even and concerned about the effect of not doing anything would have on the kids. But then I heard the sultry voice of Danielle Laporte say how life balance is a myth. The essence of life is fluid so it’s only natural that shifts in what needs to be tended to will unabashedly morph constantly. The best thing to do is to see these as opportunities for growth and to reassess what is important and needed in the family right now.

In the meantime I made sure the kids were lubed up with lots of liquids and did implement the bare essential rhythms; mealtimes and bedtimes and our Smokey Sunday pancakes (whipping them up smokes up the whole house — just to explain). I surrendered to life that happens, was reminded of the balance myth (which was a catalyst for reviewing some major life decisions), and saw an opportunity to tend to my own needs at a pivotal time in my career while the children’s growing bodies took on the necessary challenge to strengthen.

Do you want to share your bare minimum rhythm you adhere to even in times of crisis, transition or upheaval? Perhaps a little ritual? Please share in the comments if you feel inspired.

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Editor’s Note: Kathy Stowell is a homeschooling, simplicity parenting mother of two small kids, and a hobby farmer’s wife who blogs and offers Backwoods Mama Sew Camps over at Bliss Beyond Naptime, from which the post above is generously cross-posted. Kathy recently released The Bliss Filled Mama: Self-Care for Soulful Mothering, an e-book and audio recording on proper crafty mama care.

Annette Varoli: I am the proud momma of 6-year old girl, I’ve been married 11 years to a guy who is a modern day “MacGyver” and I’m in love with my cat, Coco. I’ve lived half my life in New York and recently returned to my birth state of Maryland but I love traveling, having been to over 100 cities in 20 countries. I am the artist of my life. My mission is to live my life in FULL color and inspire others to do the same. This has taken the form of architect, project manager, and holistic health coach to name a few. Currently, I’m a budding entrepreneur, exploring the next best fit for my creative expression. Three themes that have run through the course of my lifetime: making heart-to-heart connections, the creative arts, and abundance. This is what inspired my new blog. Check it out!

Fertilizer for Your Soul

Recently, my six-year-old has been asking me to keep her company in the bathroom, specifically for “number 2’s” — and not just for the wiping part.

Although I don’t particularly enjoy the aroma, I know that this is the time of day where she either imparts deep wisdom or where she philosophizes about life, so I go willingly. I sit on the floor of the bathroom ready to listen to what my little Buddha will teach me each time.

Yesterday, she did not disappoint. She assumed her position on the throne and within a few seconds, she says in a voice that sounds like when you rave about your favorite dessert, “Mommy, why does pooping feel soooo good? It just feels sooooo good. Why is that?” Her angelic face alternating between an inquisitive look and a squinching one, whenever she unloads her bowels.

She’s dead serious so I do my best to contain myself and say, “Well, sweetie, it’s because it’s a great release and a way for your body to get rid of the icky stuff… imagine if you couldn’t poop, then all of it would get STUCK inside you.”

That’s when it dawned on me that doing daily creative practice is like having healthy bowel movements… it just feels soooo good. It helps you get unstuck and feeling like yourself again. Like taking all the crap in your life and turning it into fertilizer for your soul!

I know this for a fact because over the past 15 weeks, I’ve been doing a daily creative practice and it has been life changing. Although most people know me to be a creative person, it feels like it took me a hundred years to arrive at this particular place in my life. One where I finally understand how essential regular creative practice is to my life, my success and personal happiness. But how did I get here one might ask? Allow me to share a bit of my creative journey.

Creativity Controlled

As a toddler, I got spanked for drawing on walls and climbing up on the bench so that I could play the keyboard (not before they took a photo for posterity like the one at right). My parents wanted clean walls and feared for my safety if I sat on the bench unsupervised. They meant well but that marked the beginning of my creativity being controlled.

Later in my early education, elective classes and extracurricular activities fed my creativity. I loved anything music and arts related.

However, I didn’t realize at the time that my creative pursuits were being filtered through my young, naive, brain. The one that bought into the idea that these activities were called extra or elective because they were outside of the normal curriculum, optional… in other words, “not really important.”

At the same time I was an academic, excelling in my normal subjects. Unfortunately, my achievement in what society deemed “serious subjects” led me to pick a major using only my head and not my heart. It was a decision based on this equation, “I’m good at math, science and art. What does that equal? ARCHITECTURE.”

With that decision, I entered my first semester in architectural school and quickly learned that they frowned on extracurricular activities, wanting the students to focus solely on architecture. Thinking I was taking a vow for creativity, I willingly followed the rules, not realizing that I was trading in my 18-year-old creative self for a creatively stifled 50-year-old.

My inner child decided to leave the building, while the school’s climate and a few misguided professors helped grow my inner critic.

Everything became very serious, very quickly. Ironically, all the creative passion that I threw into my portfolio which in fact, got me accepted into the college would be exactly what the school intentionally wanted to strip away. My passion for mixed media, vivid colors and freehand drawing was replaced with ink line drawings and white box models. Color was forbidden.

Once, I was getting a desk critique from a visiting professor, whose teaching style was unlike the majority at my school. He looked at my sketches and looked at me and then said, “You’re a young woman, why don’t you draw like one? Be more young and free in your drawings.”

The school had successfully controlled my creativity. I made drawings that finally fit the mold and yet I didn’t recognize myself in any of my drawings and neither had the visiting critic. I had failed at being myself but my true creative spirit didn’t leave me. She just ended up biding her time in once again “elective” classes, taking every type of dance class offered.

I’ll admit that architecture school allows more individual creativity in the latter part of your education, but by then for me, it felt too late. One of the only places that my authentic self overlapped in the architectural world was when a few students and I formed our own acapella group and sang at architecture events.

My education culminated in me on stage at the graduation ceremony singing “Blackbird.” I had partied a little too much the night before drowning my sorrows in disbelief that my education didn’t feel more fulfilling. The next morning, I actually woke up without my voice and barely squawked out, “Blackbird singing in the dead of night… take these broken wings and learn to fly… You were only waiting for this moment to be free.”

I don’t think the universe could have sent me a clearer sign that my creativity was stifled.

How I developed my creative practice

When I became a mother, I took some time out from the corporate jungle and went on maternity leave. While I was breastfeeding and soaking up the stillness of my life, I realized that I needed a career reset and no longer wanted to return to my old life.

I explored other interests and decided to jump onto the entrepreneur’s path and started building a business. With no prior background in business or marketing, I dove into learning and implementing everything I could to figure out a way for my creativity and passions to be birthed into a new career, one of my own making.

However, the “academic student” in me took over the reigns and focused on learning the how-tos of marketing strategy, development and production. While I learned a ton, somehow I left so much of my creative self out. Once again following someone else’s rules left me feeling creatively stifled. On the flip side, when I wasn’t following anyone’s rules, my passions ran amok and had me jumping onto any idea I felt excited about. I’ve since learned that not having some kind of focus is not sustainable.

There’s a delicate balance required and I’ve learned that regular creative practice is a healthy way for me to contain my creativity so that my passions have a safe place to be free and focused.

This past November after months of working my marketing plan with little success, I got sick. In the days I laid in bed, I had decided that my current business wasn’t the right fit for me. I knew I needed to put an end to the madness and reclaim my creative self and really integrate it into my entire being.

This decision led me to Lisa Sonora Beam and so began my daily creative practice. Ms. Beam is a ray of light who provided me with the framework of creative practice so that I could start defining my own rules for my life and work.

Creativity Contained

There was a moment after I had weaned my daughter when I felt like a shell of a human being. My daughter was budding into this vibrant, bright-eyed energetic human being, while my deflated breasts, flat butt and rolls of distended belly skin left me feeling like whatever energy and spirit I had, I must have just handed it all over to her.

Psychologically, I was no longer an architect or a project manager and I hadn’t yet fully stepped into a new career. Who was I? I gave everything and it seemed there was nothing left for me.

Women are literally the containers of life — of CREATIVE ENERGY. On the positive side, we provide the containers that feed and nourish, the containers that offer shelter and comfort and we are the containers that birth life itself.

On the negative side, we physically and metaphorically carry the collective baggage of society. We take on the emotional toll of the dark truths of humanity and we continue to open our hearts, offering creative solutions in dire circumstances, even when we feel our backs might break.

But what contains US? There is wisdom in the ones who continue to feed, nurture, and create beauty and peace in the world. However, I realize NONE of that wisdom can be harvested if women give and never receive. When they don’t know their own needs because they’re too busy tending to everyone else’s needs and when they can forgive others but can’t forgive themselves.

Everyone needs a supportive place to express their biggest dreams and a place to examine all their dark, ugly, “poopy” parts.

This is the gift that having a daily creative practice has been for me. What started out as a combination of journaling, painting, drawing and collaging, has expanded to more meditation and more sketchbooks to navigate other specific areas of my life. After all these years of helping others, now I’m finally birthing myself, filling my own vessel with self-love so that I can continue to give all my gifts to the world in a more sustainable way.

Here are some of the other blessings a regular creative practice has given me and can give you:

1)    RELAXING THE ROCK

I get to have freedom from my roles as wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend to name a few. I know many women who serve as the ROCK, the anchors for others but in my creative practice this rock can relax and be myself.

2)    MIRROR OF MY SOUL

For the longest time, I was solely identified with being a “good” girl, like a princess. Pretty, polite, and kind. But every once in awhile my anger would rear its ugly head and explode on some unsuspecting human. Not pretty.

Through my practice, I remembered that as a child I loved the Incredible Hulk and yet as an adult, whenever the subject of superheroes came up in conversation, I only mentioned my love for Wonder Woman. All these years, I was rejecting a darker side of myself.

During the time I was examining the ugly “poopy” parts of myself, my sister synchronistically bought me a little Incredible Hulk doll. When I saw it, to my surprise, I cried uncontrollable tears. After some thought, I realized that I was crying tears of joy because I finally welcomed home a long lost friend.

Now Princess and the Hulk are married in my heart and I love them both equally. Now, whenever I feel the angry hulk acting up in me, I know it’s just his warning that my own needs are not getting met and it’s time for me to tend to myself.

3)    CONFIDENCE

I am more confident to weather the ebbs and flows of life and to accept things as they are. The world has been changing dramatically in recent years and we can feel the changes both universally and personally. There’s been a lot of “WTF?!” energy around but my practice has helped drive away anxiety, helping me breathe and live even more in the present moment.

4)    SELF-DISCOVERY

My creative practice has served as a tool for self-discovery. I’ve been setting intentions and the practice has been putting them in motion. Discovering my true purpose was one of my intentions and I found out that I had been leaving out a big piece of the puzzle, which is that whatever I bring to the world is meant to have a spiritual focus. I believe that creative practice is spiritual practice. Every time I go to the page, it’s as if I’m making a silent prayer to discover more of myself so that I can fulfill my purpose in life and help others to do the same.

Another current intention is releasing all the stuff from my past that doesn’t serve my highest good. A few days into this intention, I was able to truly make peace with a friend’s death. In the 11 years since her death, I hadn’t found the time to properly grieve my loss and tend to my sadness, but alone in my office doing my practice; I found the freedom and peace to do so.

5)    ABUNDANCE

What’s really exciting is that my practice has organically taken on a life of its own. It has served as a launch pad for future business plans, the design of a new home, and for increasing my spiritual practice. The more I do my creative practice, the more I am drawing all kinds of abundance to me in the way of finances, things, people and opportunities that support my growth.

Sometimes life can feel like we’re all weaving our way through piles of sh*t, but if we can leave the baggage behind and use the rest as fertilizer for our soul, AND if I can turn my voiceless, broken blackbird into a singing canary on the page, then you certainly can too through creative practice.

In the meantime, I echo performer Ani DiFranco when she sings, “I’m Queen of my own compost heap and I’m getting used to the smell.” Like Ani, I too got a vision of blue sky and dry land and it feels soooo good!

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Last week at Studio Mothers you met Kathy Stowell, the homeschooling, simplicity parenting mother of two little ones who blogs at Bliss Beyond Naptime. I’ve so enjoyed getting to know Kathy over the interwebs and on the phone. She is truly an authentic, deeply creative soul who is dedicated to a life of simplicity, creativity, and presence. I’m always inspired by women who are so clear about the path they want to follow — and walk the talk, with all its challenges and rewards.

Kathy recently released the e-book and audio recording The Bliss Filled Mama: Self-Care for Soulful Mothering. I’m delighted to offer a free copy of this magical resource (e-book AND audio file) to a Studio Mothers reader! Simply leave a comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. You have until 5:00 p.m. eastern time on Friday, February 17, 2012, to enter.

In The Bliss Filled Mama: Self-Care for Soulful Mothering, Kathy shares the strategies and practices that help pull her through the “delicate dance of being a loving, present mother who also has the time and energy to tend to her creative spirit and life calling.” These are the basic self-care approaches Kathy swears by that help make every day an opportunity to keep her needs front and center while “ensuring my genetic makeup flourishes, happily, for generations to come.” And because being a busy mama can make it tricky to sit down and read a whole e-book, Kathy recorded herself “whispering these sweet somethings into your ear.”

The Bliss Filled Mama offers over 10,000 words of insight into:

• Kathy’s approach to optimum health
• Simple yet saucy mama style
• Ladies’ night ideas to maintain your precious friendships
• Ways to garner your partner’s support in your bliss quest
• Protecting your boundaries
• Housekeeping; simplicity style
• Exploring and pinpointing the joys in your life
• Carving out pockets of time to indulge in these joys
• Kathy’s own parenting philosophy that accommodates more mama bliss

If you aren’t the winner of the e-book/audio package, you can purchase it here for $14 USD.

Good luck, creative mamas!

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I remember the first time we laid our eyes on our home — it was like love at first sight. It was kind of like spotting a soulmate for the first time. After getting over the initial giddiness of its strawbale walls, I was stoked about the open loft smack dab in the middle of the floor plan, right above the kitchen. Typically the deep inhales of my day are taken while I prepare meals while my exhales are lavished all over any one of my many crafty pursuits so it was kind of cool how this setup offers both of my breathing spaces the opportunity to be literally layered on top of each other.

Regardless of where we ended up, I knew I needed a space of my own; even if it only consisted of a corner in the basement like in our two previous homesteads. But to have a space right in the middle of all the action — that was kind of a symbolic bonus.

And here I sit now. I call it my Crafty Loft Nest. And I feel at such times like a legendary Loft Nest Monster lurking up in the clouds. This is my happy place. Typically, I get up the earliest; before the little ones, and get my blog musings down (which often report on any sightings of or debris left over from the creature) or dive in deep into the current creative project. For the rest of the day I am able to dip back into the loft for mini bursts of spinning or sewing in between homeschooling my daughter, keeping the home fires stoked, tending to the farm critters, and minding my etsy shops.

These days the calling is pulling me deeper into the world of mama creativity and simple living. I’m in the process of pulling together my Bliss Beyond Naptime coaching practice where I will be serving mamas toward a life of more peace and simplicity while embracing and nurturing their creative spirit. And these last few weeks the Crafty Loft Nest has been the location for a Simplicity Parenting workshop I’m facilitating as I spread the word of a childhood well savoured as we embrace a simpler approach to family life in terms of mindful scheduling, more distinct rhythm, and less cluttered and filtered environments.

I’m so happy to be invited to share this space with you here and get glimpses into your creative nests. Your studio, mothers; in whatever forms they appear. With such a sacred task, this raising the next generation in the most conscious way possible business, it’s of the greatest importance to see that all our own mama needs are met and creative desires fulfilled. The key to help keeping me centred as I take on this divine endeavour is ensuring that the well of all my needs is continuously filled. And most of that filling happens here at the heart of our home — one of the major love hubs in my life.

This morning I had every intention of zipping along through a few hours of editing the final pages of my manuscript.

1. Honey woke up late, and I didn’t feel like getting out of bed either, even though I heard the boys stirring downstairs. So we got off to a later start than usual. And then Toots slept in a bit and didn’t want to wake, and for about the third time in six years of living together, I woke up Grandma, who I knew had an earlier exercise class on Tuesdays, to ask her if she would take Toots with her so I could edit. And, by the way, Toots only wanted Grandma to get her out of bed this morning, too.

2. I was getting into the shower when the last family members to leave for the day were already out the door — that put me about an hour into the precious writing time.

3. I experienced a few technical difficulties that caused much smoke to emit from my ears and unsavory language to disembark from my mouth. Good thing I was home alone, but that did not prevent me from calling my tech support, Honey, at work to fume and swear in his general direction. Poor guy was working on a big project at work. Like he needed my vitriol in his ear at that moment, too. Thanks for putting up with me Hon, even though you didn’t really help and I ended up figuring out ‘go arounds’ myself.

4. I figured out ‘go arounds’ myself. Even re: stuff I didn’t bring up to my dear spouse.

5. I opened the Document.

6. I stared at it, knowing full well what I needed to do to it, and I stared at the critiqued copy which was telling me what to do with it, but apparently I did not have my listening ears on.

7. I called a fellow writing friend who thankfully was home sick from work up in Boston (how selfish of me, I know, but I did wish him to feel better, and he did help a lot with giving me a better perspective of why I was using a device that I was at the moment struggling to edit).

8. I listened to a couple of songs on youtube. Those youngsters today are making some good music. Please check out bands: A Day To Remember, Rise Against and Snow Patrol. Be forewarned, these are my rocknroller teen’s current favorite bands.

8.5 I whined on Facebook.

9. I kicked myself in the figurative butt and started typing.

10. I ended up pretty happy with what I got, and called my Boston writing friend again to confirm, and he gave me one more good piece of advice: put it dialogue instead of the main character’s thoughts. Actually, I think I screamed it over him as he said it, but it would have taken me longer to get to the realization if I hadn’t called Mr. Snuffles.

11. I saved it, in two places (always back up, lesson learned a long time ago when I was writing my thesis and my hard drive crashed taking my thesis with it, and I had 3 days and nights to cobble it all back together from old notes while hallucinating from sleep deprivation) and then

12. Grandma walked back in the door with Toots.

So I will finish the last few pages another time, maybe when Toots goes down for nap. Or tomorrow morning before I go to work…

I guess, I’m saying (and I have to thank the same friend in Boston for this one, too): “Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible.” ~Doris Lessing

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Crossposted from Musings in Mayhem

-The garbage truck is coming back. It’s my turn to dump it.
-Be careful right here, there are cans here, and you might slip and trip.
-Uh oh, it’s raining, but the garbage truck is going to work at his job and pick the garbage up in the rain.
-I picked it up and said, “Oh, no! Ow!”
-Did you pick up garbage and rain drops?
-Yes, and when I pick up the rainy garbage it will be scary.

As I poured my female, doll-loving soul into my newest creation, I took stock of the reality of my life and had to laugh. My boys couldn’t have been less interested in what I was making (although Sam had some strong opinions about the doll’s hairstyle — he was all for the Veronica Lake look), but they did want to be in the room with me, and were happy to cheer me on whenever things were going well (and clear out whenever they weren’t). Luckily, that was more often than not.

The last couple of days I’ve been in a work-with-my-hands kind of mood, and I’d seen this doll pattern online and wanted to try it out. I love Waldorf dolls, and after many years of doll making, I finally have the skills to make one. Plus, there was a special little girl having a 5th birthday, so the doll would be guaranteed a good home. I ordered the pattern from Margaret Lunn here, got started on it yesterday, and finished her up and got her in the mail this morning.

I’d never made a mermaid doll before, but she was a lot of fun to make. I was really happy with the way her multi-color hair turned out, and had a lot of fun designing her jewelry (with some of Sam’s left over beading supplies). I’m still not 100% happy with my dollmaking technique — I’m still learning and experimenting with machine sewing/type of fabrics to use (note to self — silky fabric is hard to work with!)/following a pattern. It’s considered an “easy” doll pattern, and it probably would’ve worked a little better if I had used the recommended materials for the body. I substituted polyfil stuffing for wool batting (since I am sooo allergic to wool), and some silky polyester fabric I had instead of cotton interlock knit because the cotton wasn’t available when I went to the craft store. The end result looked okay, but had I used different materials I think it would’ve handled better, and the end result would’ve looked a little more professional.

But this doll turned out much better than the last one I tried with the same materials, so hopefully someday I will be good enough to design my own dolls and sell them.

[Cross-posted from Re-Writing Motherhood.]

Editor’s note: This interview is generously crossposted from Head Above Water.

Hazel Gaynor describes herself as a “mother slash blogger slash freelance writer.” Her blog Hot Cross Mum has been ranked within the top 50 UK parenting websites and has won several awards. She has appeared in The Sunday Times Magazine and on Ireland’s TV3. Hazel writes for several national Irish newspapers and contributes to UK and Irish parenting magazines and websites. She is the featured “Real Mum” in the March issue of Irish Parent magazine and will soon appear regularly on an online parenting TV channel. She has blogged for Hello Magazine. Hazel has been a contributor on the national writing resource www.writing.ie and tutors on the online course Blogging and Beyond. She is currently launching an eBook based on her blog. Hazel has two boys aged 5 and 3 and lives in Dublin.

When did you start writing? Had you established a writing rhythm or career before or did it happen alongside the kids?

I started writing after being made redundant in March 2009. With the children both being preschool age, I made a decision to stay at home to look after them. I looked into freelance writing as a way to generate some income whilst being at home and everything started from there. I had written nothing, other than tedious management reports, up to that point!

What impact has having children had on your writing career?

It has been the reason for my writing career! My children are my inspiration and the basis of most of my subject matter. If it wasn’t for them, I simply wouldn’t be writing.

How do you organise your writing time and space — do you have a routine or is it more ad hoc?

I’m not sure I could say that I organize my writing time; it is more a case of grabbing it when I can! I’m lucky to have a wonderful attic which I disappear to when the boys are both in bed or before they wake up. This is where, and when, I have done most of my writing. I think you would call it burning the candle at both ends — and in the middle!

Since September last year, I’ve gained a couple of hours during the week when both the boys are at school and preschool and this has been great. I can see that as the boys grow older, and are both at school, it is going to get a little easier for me to have scheduled time to write. For now, it really is a case of stolen time.

Interestingly, I don’t always write at the laptop. I often scribble ideas and entire chapters in a notebook and find this really refreshing.

Is it possible to maintain a balance on a daily basis or do you find yourself readjusting focus from work to family over a longer time-span depending on your projects?

I have to re-adjust continually. For example, during school holidays family time completely takes over. I try to get ahead of deadlines during these school breaks so I don’t have to worry about writing and can relax and enjoy the time with the boys. As a freelance writer, it’s difficult to predict when a piece will be commissioned so when I do get a deadline, I have to re-focus and get my head down. My blog occasionally gets completely neglected and as for writing my novel, I grab any time I can and try to get as many words written per day as is humanly possible. Sometimes it’s zero; occasionally it’s thousands.

How do the children react to your writing or the time you spend on it?

They are both aware that I am a writer and know that I have a blog called Hot Cross Mum. It amazes me that they have picked this up through conversation! They often see me working at the computer and my eldest sometimes mimics me — he sends e-mails and writes on his calculator! I close the laptop down when I’m not working, so I’m not tempted to write in the middle of building a Lego spaceship! I think this is actually very important.

What do you find most challenging in juggling your role as a mother and your many writing commitments?

I basically end up feeling constantly guilty — about the children, the house, or my writing. I think mothers usually struggle to juggle everything in their lives without worrying that they are neglecting something, or someone. Over the last two years I have become much more realistic about what I can achieve and am better at leaving my writing when I have to, because ‘real life’ takes over. I think I would still feel the same if I had another 24 hours in every day! Of course, the boys often want my attention when I’m working — any time I am trying to have ‘me time’ will always be difficult for them to accept at the moment. As I am trying to write this, I have one child sitting on my knee asking me to put his shoes on and the other asking for a drink and both of them needing various other things — it is a fairly typical scenario!

You’ve been on national Irish TV and in national newspapers and your blog has received awards, when did these breakthroughs occur and why do you think they happened when they did?

My breakthroughs really occurred quite quickly and unexpectedly so it was a bit of a roller-coaster ride. At the time I started my blog my youngest was 15 months. By the time he was 2, I’d been approached by literary agents, was blogging for Hello, had regular freelance work, was being interviewed for The Sunday Times and TV3 and had started working on a fiction novel. It was a crazy time really; trying to maintain the momentum which had started and managing two small boys; whilst still really adjusting to life at home as opposed to a professional career.

At the basis of it all is purely and simply the fact that I loved what I was doing; above all else, it was that pure love of writing which kept me going and pushed me to drag myself out of bed before anyone else woke up, and kept me tapping away late at night while everyone else slept. I think I’m extremely lucky to have found something I love doing which I can combine with being at home with my children.

I’ll never forget Martin King standing in my kitchen interviewing me about my blog in front of a camera crew; nine months previously I didn’t even know what a blog was!

Do you think women face particular challenges in career/family life balance or is it something that both men and women face in equal measure?

I think it is increasingly something being faced in equal measure. Traditionally it has always been the women who reduce their working hours or give up their careers for their families. The recession is changing that; as many families don’t have a choice as to who goes out to work. I think it will take another generation before there is really any equality between men and women in balancing career/family life.

Something has to give when wearing many hats; what is it for you?

Honestly? I think it is my ‘leisure’ time which has been sacrificed. I don’t lounge around on the sofa channel-surfing and I, equally, don’t go to a gym or go running. I now regard my ‘free time’ as the evenings after the boys are in bed and I use that ‘free time’ to write — sometimes I write for pleasure (i.e., my fiction novel) and sometimes it is for work (i.e., paid articles etc). Oh, and I’m sure my sanity has been left well and truly behind somewhere along the way!

What suggestions do you have for mothers or indeed parents who want to write or further a writing career?

My main suggestion would be to just ‘do it’! There will never be enough hours in the day or the ideal set of circumstances to start writing in, so I would say grab any opportunity you can and dive in. I honestly cannot emphasize enough how unprepared I was, in many ways, to start a writing career, but I have stuck at it and have discovered something I love by doing so. I would also encourage anyone to start interacting with other writers; via Twitter, via blogs or via writing communities such as writing.ie. These have all been a tremendous source of support, friendship and opportunities for me.

What a fantastic interview Hazel, thanks and we wish you success with your multitude of headwrecking endeavours — in particular your new e-book!

Hazel’s blog: Hot Cross Mum
Hazel’s e-book: Hot Cross Mum: Bitesize Slices of Motherhood (based on her blog — check it out!)

I’m Christine. My path in the creative life is, like most, not very straight.

I have been a trained, professional dancer, and am now a trained, professional speech pathologist.

I used to only view my creativity in terms of my physical and emotional ability to respond to music and choreography, but now I see that my gifts extend far beyond what I could do as a dancer, to encompass all the things I can do with my hands and my mind.

Right now, the majority of my work is in artisan jewelry, but the essence of my soul is one of a teacher and a student. I truly love any creative work I can do with my hands — fabric and metals and glass are my main media at this time. The physicality of swinging a hammer to forge copper, the intense concentration over a flame and melting rod of glass, the feel of textiles that I shape into three-dimensional objects feed my soul and fire up my life. There is really no art or craft I don’t want to try.

I am the lucky mother of three beautiful children — intense creations in their own rights. My eldest daughter is thirteen, my middle daughter is five and a half, and my son is three (“and a half, Mommy!”). When my son was born, I left full-time clinical practice to be home with my children. The creative work I do is not required to maintain our standard of living, and the professional work I do part-time (which does maintain our lives) can be done by telecommuting, by working off-hours, and by setting my own schedule. So, technically, I suppose, I am somewhat of a stay-at-home AND work-at-home mother.

Navigating the work, the household responsibilities, my children and their needs, and my own desire (NEED) for time to create is often exhausting on many levels. I admit to feeling a significant amount of stress whenever I considered ALL that I had to do or was responsible for in the course of a day. I often felt like I was running out of time, or that I needed to accomplish EVERYthing EVERY day.

What I have noticed more recently, though, is that there IS time for everything, and if something doesn’t get done, then it wasn’t supposed to get done that day. I view my artistic endeavors like tides: they roll in, and I get some sewing in, or pound a few bits of metal or make beads for an hour, then the tide rolls out and I move to something else, like preparing dinner, or reading a file, or playing with Legos with my kids. I try to set a goal to make something every day, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. If I can’t, I try to at least rearrange my tools, or put my hands on my materials, or sketch an idea for the next “thing” to make!

It’s a constant, this shifting of priorities and the right-placing of everything that makes up a day. Some days are wild with possibilities and are highly productive, while others are full of everyone else’s (and everyTHING else’s) needs. It’s all definitely part of life’s journey. Sometimes you have to surrender and just roll with it. Kind of like the tides.

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Say hi at Christine’s blog and Christine’s etsy shop!

Editor’s note: This interview is generously cross-posted from Alison Wells’s Head Above Water.

Laura Wilkinson grew up in a Welsh market town and as a child was a voracious reader. She has a BA in literature and worked as a freelance journalist, editor and copywriter. Her first novel, BloodMining, the story of a young woman’s quest to uncover the truth about her origins to save her son’s life, will be published in autumn 2011 by Bridge House. She currently lives and works in Brighton, England.

Tell us about your children, Laura.

I’ve two boys: Morgan, twelve, and Cameron, seven. They’re glorious redheads; I call them Ginger1 and Ginger2, and people comment on their extraordinary hair colour all the time, especially as both their parents are brunettes. You can imagine the comments!

When did your writing begin?

As a journalist, copywriter and editor for many years before the children came along, and then alongside them. Fiction came later, around five and a half years ago, once I was out of the totally sleepless nights period with my youngest. Both my boys were horrendous sleepers! My routine has always been fixed around the major needs of the kids and, so far, it seems to work for all of us.

What impact has having children had on your writing career?

Having the boys focused me. I’d harboured a desire to write fiction for years, but work and other stuff (like going out, partying, and other hedonistic activities) got in the way. As well as fear. After the children came along I became more aware, more centered, and the brevity and preciousness of life hit me, hard. I knew that if I didn’t at least try to write I’d have let myself down, and the boys somehow. Now I use the little free time I have doing something that stretches me, challenges me, surprises me, and I find that really, really exciting.

How do you organise your writing time and space?

I work four days a week, so on these days I tend to write in the evening, once the boys are in bed. 9pm to 11ish, sometimes later, depending on how it’s going. I have been known to rise early, 5am, and write for a couple of hours before the rest of the house wakes up, though this is hard during the winter months. I don’t manage this every day, but I aim for three or four evenings/mornings a week.

On my ‘free’ day I write as much as I am able. On good days, I can write for two or three hours, take a short break, and then carry on for another two. Then it’s time to get the kids from school. Other times I find it much harder to get going, and then I might go for a walk, or pop out to see a friend, and then come back to the work. I cherish this day and I guard it ferociously. No visitors, no housework, no shopping. Writing.

I’m workman-like in my approach. I aim for 1,000 words each sitting. Of course, I don’t always manage this. Some days I might churn out a mere 400, but on others I might reach 3,000. It’s a productive week if I manage 5,000 words. My pattern is that I start slow (and yes, it can be extremely painful) and pick up momentum as I go on.

For first drafts I write on a laptop in bed, often in pyjamas, or slouchy clothes. A bed is a place for dreaming and passion. Perfect for first drafts. When I’m editing I’m at a desk on the landing, or at the dining table, in a straight backed chair, fully dressed, blusher and mascara on. Editing is business-like and often cruel. As you will have gathered I don’t have a room of my own; I would love a writing shed, or office. Twitter is my favourite new online habit and I have tweeted about this, demonstrating severe shed envy. I live in hope.

Is it possible to maintain a balance on a daily basis or do you find yourself readjusting focus from work to family over a longer time-span depending on your projects?

The nature of children and family life requires a degree of flexibility, so, yes, I do readjust my focus periodically. The ease with which I achieve this depends on the stage I’m at with any given piece of work. Long haul projects like novels require momentum, especially when creating a first draft, and breaking the rhythm makes picking it up again difficult. I speak from experience here. Usually, editing comes with deadlines. Writing is a craft, and requires regular practice, so while we all have to adjust to life stuff that comes our way, my motto is to write as often as possible. That said, when the boys are sick, or need extra emotional input, it’s difficult to write and I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t during times like this.

How do the children react to your writing or the time you spend on it?

My eldest is proud, I think. He will ask about the story I’m writing, often presenting some penetrating and challenging questions, and he’s pretty excited about my first novel coming out. My youngest hasn’t shown too much interest. He knows Mummy reads and writes ‘all the time’ (I bloody wish), and often picks up whatever I’m currently reading and flicks through the pages and asks if my books are as long. When I reply that they are, he sighs, shrugs and wanders off. I suspect he thinks I’m fibbing. Perhaps once my debut is out, he’ll believe me!

What do you find most challenging in juggling your role as a mother, your writing and your work?

Practically, it’s time. There’s never enough of it. I wish my sleeping habits were like those of Margaret Thatcher. During her premiership she claimed to sleep for only three hours a night. Unfortunately, I need seven or eight to function. And there’s the need to make money. A private income would remove the need for paid work, and then I could spend everyday writing. Bliss.

Emotionally, I suffer Guilt, with a capital ‘g’. For not playing with the boys more, for daydreaming when we’re together, for not baking beautiful cakes, and so on. But most mothers I know, writers or not, feel guilty. On the plus side, my boys are very good at entertaining themselves. Having a dreamy, distracted mother has made them resourceful and independent.

You’ve had success with having BloodMining accepted for publication. Why do you think your breakthrough happened when it did?

The first short story I wrote won a (minor) competition and was published. My youngest was three. This gave me a misguided opinion of how hard it was going to be. Years later I realized just how lucky I’d been. I began my first novel when my youngest was four and my eldest nine. It took two years and several drafts to complete. Proper authors — people who had masters’ degrees in creative writing and even had books of their own published — were encouraging, and so I entered some debut novel competitions. While I was waiting for the results, a period of around eight months from entry to final announcement, I wrote a second novel.

To my surprise I was shortlisted in two novel competitions, one of which I went on to win. Back in November, when I received the call from Debz Hobbs-Wyatt at Bridge House I was at work, in the staff-room, I had to sit down. For days I wandered round in a state of shock. I told few people; I didn’t believe it was real; I expected the ‘Gosh, I’m so, so sorry — we misread the winner’s name, it was Laura Williams that won, not you,’ call. It never came and, slowly, I’ve come round to the idea that it’s going to happen.

The children were settled at school and content during this period. In September last year they both changed schools and it’s not been an easy time, emotionally, especially for my eldest who started senior school. During this period I completed another two drafts of my second novel, though I’ve not been as productive as I’d have liked. Things have settled down now so I’ve started a third novel, as well as getting a submission package together for novel #2 and working with my editor on BloodMining.

In all honesty, I have no idea why it happened when it did, and I guess you could say that it happened because I was persistent. A writer needs to be tenacious.

Do you think women face particular challenges in career/family life balance?

I’d love to able to say that the pressure facing both sexes is equal but I can’t. It’s a fact that women still do more than their fair share of childcare and housekeeping. But we can’t blame it all on the fellas. We take on too much. And whether we’re conscious of it or not, many of us (I include myself here) are reluctant to let go of these responsibilities, to trust that men can do them as well as we can. It’s a rare relationship where the split is even. Perhaps gay women manage it. I’ll ask a friend about this.

Something has to give when wearing many hats, what is it for you?

Housework. I was never much cop at the domestic: cleaning, home decoration/making beautiful, cooking. But no one died of a grubby house or the odd take-out, did they?

What suggestions do you have for mothers or indeed parents who want to write or further a writing career?

Write. Forget ironing. Don’t give up the day job (at least until you’ve the three book deal with the six figure sum) , your kids won’t thank you if there’s no food on the table.

Thanks so much to Laura for telling us about her experience of being a writer mother. We wish her tremendous success with her new novel BloodMining and look forward to it coming out in the Autumn. For more news on her novel and other projects visit Laura at her blog Sting in the Tale or follow Laura on Twitter.

Yesterday was one of those days. No, not one of THOSE days, but one of those days. Those rare, crystalline days when the clock seems to slow its frantic pace — and magically, there’s time for everything.

I woke up before my alarm went off, feeling refreshed after an unusually restful weekend. Seemingly without effort, I went through my morning routine (20 minutes of meditation, breakfast and lunches for the family, planning the day and a brief intention journal entry, tidied the house, and started a load of laundry). Then I took Liam (my youngest) to preschool and came home to finish a client writing project while Aidan (my 6-year-old, already out of school for the summer) played Lego Star Wars. Then I completed the week’s menu plan, cleaned out the fridge, and took Aidan and the dog for a thoroughly enjoyable walk. We then went off to do the grocery shopping, run an errand, and read a few pages in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in the parking lot before it was time to get Liam.

Already feeling in the flow, we came home and the boys played in the driveway with a fresh set of sidewalk chalk while I put the groceries away. Then we went downstairs to the teenagers’ man-cave to hear some new Dear Hunter tracks that my oldest (Russell, home from college) wanted to play for me. The little guys jumped gleefully on the sectional and wrestled on the floor while I enjoyed a cup of coffee, smiling as Russell tackled Liam, who screamed in glee. It’s amazing to watch my children, in their wide range of ages, enjoy each other.

The rainy morning had cleared into sunshine, so after I advanced the laundry we all moved out onto the patio. Russell tried to focus on his own book as I read another chapter in Harry Potter to Aidan. Liam was in and out, playing with the cats and absconding with my iPhone. After a good long reading session, Aidan ran off to join his other older brother, Matthew, who was playing hacky sack in the driveway with a few of his friends. I figured this was a good time to work on a short piece I’m writing for the upcoming CCA newsletter, so while Liam was still busy with my phone (and nearly falling asleep) I sat with him on the couch and knocked out the short article. It was one of those beautifully satisfying writing sessions where the piece comes together on its own. I sent it off for review, feeling utterly content. I had finished both of the writing projects that I’d planned for the day.

With a bit more time to spare (how was this possible?) the little boys and I played a long game of Sorry and then had Loud and Crazy Dance Time while I assembled dinner (chef’s salad night, where I put out a dozen different salading items, make some fresh salad dressing, and everyone fixes their own). My husband hadn’t come home from work yet, the older boys were busy with friends, and my daughter was passed out cold (more on that here) so Aidan, Liam, and I had dinner on our own, followed by an overly gluttonous feast of organic kiwi.

Just after we went upstairs to start bathtime, my husband arrived and took over bedtime preparations while I went downstairs to start a mammoth bill-paying and bookkeeping session (long overdue) while my daughter emerged from her cocoon, had dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen (her nights are Mondays and Tuesdays). After tucking the little boys in, I banged away at another hour of Quicken before going up to bed. Not that balancing the checking account is a fun thing to do, but I felt good about making progress (and about stopping at a pre-determined time).

I wish I could distill the lovely day into its magical ingredients.The day wasn’t “perfect” — Liam was a little grumpy and the dog peed on the dining room carpet again, after we just spent nearly $500 on vet bills and carpet cleaning after her last UTI — but I wasn’t thrown off center by those little “blips.” Why did time seem to slow down? Was it the hours spent outside? All that reading aloud? Was it the fact that I’d loosely planned the day and was able to accomplish all of my major intentions? Was it the mix of to-do list with unplanned fun? Was it not checking my e-mail too frequently? Was it the delicate, lovely interplay of creativity and motherhood?

I can’t know, of course. I can only hold the day lightly, and try not to squeeze it to death in my desire to recreate its beauty. I am deeply grateful. I inhale deeply, and make space for whatever comes next.

What makes your days lovely and long?

Growing up, my family moved around a lot (I popped in and out of 5 elementary schools) and then later, as an adult, I kept on moving around in Scotland, Italy, Montreal, Toronto, and lastly, Vancouver. So, I was a practised mover/drifter, through schools, cities, jobs, and relationships.

I used to draw and paint a lot, though mostly with the right side of the brain, and I sort of think it was a compensation for my itinerant behaviour, but who knows? I have a lot to be grateful for that side of my brain, but in art-making, it was just a bit too domineering.

I finally did stop; when my son was born — I stopped working and I even stopped painting and I didn’t know how to carve out time for art-making. But that’s okay; I needed a hiatus from my right-brain drawing and painting, and then, when my son was four, he helped me discover another creative outlet. I began making soft toys based on children’s drawings. And Child’s Own Studio was born.

The thing about children’s art is that there are no rules, about proportion, colors, number of eyes… anything goes and so I come across lots of fun ideas. These days, I work at home on soft toys and other creative projects, and blog about them. From what I’ve learned from children, including my son, and since I stopped moving, I’ve been letting the left side of the brain start calling the shots, and that’s where I am right now, and where I like to be!