Comments on: Miranda: Those pesky little transitions

By: Juliet Bell

Juliet Bell — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:04:29 +0000

I think the key is to do something that serves you as well as the boys. You need a transition form work to home – a wind down mindless time, the boys just need your presence and a feeling of being together. My choice is akin to Mary’s idea. Put music on nice and loud and dance. Get out the rattles, tamboreens, play, cavort, and most of all move the bodies free from mental strain. This is like taking a walk to feed the soul. Really you will be restoring your batteries, not draining them by responding to whiny needs from boys who sense you are not with them 100%. If you make this a fun ritual, the boys will look forward to it, and after dance time, they should let you cook – be aggreeable to quieter things like drawing a the table while you do what has to be done. Dance until you can’t dance any more – this is transporting. Just a thought.

By: Simply Mother

Simply Mother — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:47:52 +0000

Ha, I just wrote a post about easing transitions for my 6 year old, and then got your pingback to my post, came here, and saw this. I know I’m late, but my suggestions would be to have the babysitter give your kids a 5 minute warning, maybe do something to help them prepare for you, and then just come in and plan on sitting on the couch (or wherever) relaxing with them. With my kids, the best connection times are when I don’t have anything planned to do, but I’m just planning on being with them. The kids provide the rest–they always know what they need to do!

By: magicalmusings

magicalmusings — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:42:25 +0000

Everyone had my ideas but maybe doing some kind of easy drawing in the journal with crayons? I can’t remember how old your youngest is (mine still tries to put them in her mouth). Sit on the couch and either read and or draw in a sketchbook. My daughter does this for an hour sometimes without stopping and she is 4. They can keep going after you get going on dinner. There are also the larger crayola paper pads that we sometimes use on the floor with crayons. Good easy fun.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:10:05 +0000

c is one month older than liam i think….she enjoys trying the yoga with me, when she’s not trying to knock me over. s thrived from yoga practice when he was little (gross motor sensory integration feed for his aspergers), k enjoyed it immensely when he was little.

By: Betsy G

Betsy G — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:12:34 +0000

Good idea to wrap up your work a little earlier so you’re not still attached to it when you really want to be reattaching to the kids. I think the key to making the time a good time is to make sure your mind is not elsewhere. I wouldn’t get too formal with how you’re going to spend the time…that puts pressure on all of you to enjoy it. Just be *there*…and honestly, that can happen with the three of you snuggled on the couch watching a video together. Good way to mellow out, get some body contact, chit chat in an easy way. (Walks and books of course are good ideas too.) You might want to set the timer for when you are going to start on dinner, so you’re all aware of the deadline and you don’t jump the gun either. Your tea time sounds nice, too, as it’s not too formal, but it does give a transitional ritual. For me it has always been turning off the work brain and wanting to be *with* the kids. I don’t think the activity matters as much as flipping that switch (which is probably more of a dimmer than a switch).

By: Mary Germanotta Duquette

Mary Germanotta Duquette — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:02:03 +0000

I used to do yoga with Jack when he was younger – that might be something interesting to try, too. I’m not sure how that would go with Liam (if he’s old enough, yet, I mean) but it’s a nice alternative to extremely energetic, or plugged-in kind of play. Quiet and restful and still, without being asleep – that kind of experience is good for kids, I think.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:08:00 +0000

i like the dancing, too…when madonna’s ray of light came out, the boys and i danced our butts off in the kitchen to it as i made dinner….only way i could get it done then.

just don’t tell my cool friends that i have that cd, please….

By: Tara @ TheOrganicSister

Tara @ TheOrganicSister — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:10:32 +0000

Crock pot meals can be setup in the AM taking stress off the dinner rush.

I would start to wind down work 10-15 minutes earlier to give yourself transition time; maybe take a few minutes with eveything turned off, just breathing or meditating or stretching or whatever.

Then follow their lead for the hour. They sound excited to see you, so capitalize on that by making the time fun and interesting to them. If they are wound up, try going outside to play together. Offer it as a reading time together if they aren’t too energetic. See what THEY want and embrace it. Leave your iphone or anything else far, far away and give them your undivided attention. Make that the special Mama and Kiddos hour. Maybe you could even find fun recipes (we have a cooking with kids recipe book) so they can feel as if they still have your attention when it’s dinner time.

We also give heads up, too….”Ten minutes until we make dinner….okay, only 5 minutes left now.” This helps a lot too.

Good luck!

By: e.beck

e.beck — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:58:35 +0000

i LOVE mary’s .. i just saw that … we used to dance a ton … i did exercise videos too …. now that’s a funny thing to do with little kids …

By: e.beck

e.beck — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:57:46 +0000

i think snacks are always a good transition … hungry never means happy … so snacks have to be a good idea!! and the books sounds great too ….

when my twins were toddley they were always hard between the afternoon nap and dinnertime … which of course, was when i needed to cook …. i hit upon the notion of setting something up for them during their nap …. like, i’d set up the fisher price barn under the dining room table … or put all their play dishes in the real sink to wash…. or spill some cheerios on the floor with their little brooms right next to it …. or set up the wooden train tracks on the family room coffee table …. or make a trail of rescue heroes down the steps ….. just anything that was a bit different….. favorite toys in different spots … rescue heroes in the sink! we did lots of sink stuff …. playdough was another big one….. for a couple of minutes of set up, i could buy myself quite a bit of time with playing … and it eased the crabby transition if i could tell them i had a surprise downstairs …. i’m not sure how you could adapt this since you’ll be in the office, but i’m sure you could figure it out based on how your house is set up …. and really then, what you are training them to do, is creative happy play as soon as they see you … for me, during nap time i was frequently doing chores, so when they woke up i was still tired! i frequently ended up reading magazines whereever they were playing … i can’t begin to tell you how many time magazines I read under the dining room table .. it’s a fort, all the stuffed animals are there, rescue heroes underneath (recurring rescue hero theme!), duplo is so much more fun under the table! … so there you go … directed play says i …

By: Mary Germanotta Duquette

Mary Germanotta Duquette — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:20:53 +0000

I really like both the suggestions of a walk outdoors, and dancing in! We love to dance around the kitchen, too, and it is certainly a great way for us to get some of the excess energy out, especially during these long fall and winter days.

By: Brittany Vandeputte

Brittany Vandeputte — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:33:32 +0000

I was going to suggest what Jen suggested, too!

But in truth, by the time 4pm rolls around, I’m too pooped to go for a walk, and by the time I get the boys out the door, I’m more exhausted still.

The 4-6pm window is the worst of my day too. The boys are up from their afternoon nap, starving, missing daddy, and with energy to burn. What we usually do is have a snack and then I put on a Wiggles video and dance around the living room with them. It’s pretty low key, but it cheers us all up.