Skip to content

Archive for

Apr 20

2 Comments

Bethany: The Fun of Letting Go

Life has been hellish lately.  And I don’t mean that in the Gosh-I-Just-Don’t-Feel-Right Sorta Way. No. It’s been hellish.  16+ hour work days, endless phone calls.  Teething baby.  Six Year Old Kid that feels neglected. And a husband who is still dealing with the unexpected death of his mother less than 4 months ago.  Not to mention a needless fight I had with my own mother… mostly due to my frustration with my current work situation. Does this have a thing to do with creativity?

You bet your ass it does!  When life is chaotic, my creativity goes down the toilet. In fact, one could say creativity just gets lost like everything else (routines, laundry, dishes).  And this spell with chaos is no exception.  So much so, I’ve decided to take drastic measures–I’m “quitting” all my works in progress.

Before you get all nutso on me, let me explain. I’ve been pushing myself to produce something (anything really) for a while now. Making myself sit at they keyboard and write until I felt I had written something decent, entertaining, and publishable.  And I think for the most part, I accomplished all three.  Though, from the rejections that I have received lately, apprarantly people in the industry don’t agree with me.  But that’s fine.  I’m all about going with the flow.   That is, until it’s no longer fun.

I started this book writing thing because it was fun.  I wrote fun stories, about quirky women, with lives as zany as my own and I hoped others like them.  Some did.  Other didn’t.  And still, more did. And didn’t.  In the end, I am right were I started.  Writing my fingers to a bone while my family sleeps and reaching for a dream.  Only in the last few months, I lost the fun part. I was so caught up in producing, I forgot fun.

Writing is fun. Most of the time.  And hell, if it is a really good story, it can be fun all the time.  At least until the 50th revision… but I am ahead of myself.  The point is, I’ve lost the fun.  And, man, if I am going to give up my blessed sleep for writing–I sure as hell better be having fun. So, all my current book ideas are headed for the file cabinet.  Virtual one that is and I’m gonna sit back and relax.  Let ideas come to me and see what will be next.

Hopefully a work schedule that finds itself a bit more sane, and a baby that will finally have teeth (and sleep!), and a son that enjoys being around his mom (instead of telling me, “Mom, you have your mean voice on.”).  Pray for me.  Because my muse doesn’t know a timetable. Nor does my work. And for this little “break” to work, they have to find a way to synch up somehow.  Or it won’t be any fun at all.