Miranda: Admitting defeat–temporarily?
In January, I blogged on the push-pull conflict of deciding when to push hard, and when to be “realistic.” Being a type-A, superwoman wannabe, I generally believe that pushing myself hard is my best path to success. 
But now, for the moment, I may have to admit that life is handing me such a large plateful that I might not be able to meet my weekly objectives, regardless of how hard I push. (And in fact, pushing myself may be the last thing I need right now.)
I’ve been trying to pare down and organize my workload in anticipation of maternity leave, with the hope of finding a bit more breathing room. But I’ve been totally distracted: My family has been hit unusually hard by the sore throat/wracking cough/fever virus, which seems to hang on forever. I got it myself last Wednesday evening, and I’m still in the trenches. On top of all that, some mysterious health issues resulted in spending the better part of two days last week at the ER, having all kinds of tests that a pregnant woman would like to avoid. Bottom line is I’m pretty healthy, aside from this nasty virus, but I need to reduce my workload and focus on staying healthy. A lot easier said than done. How do you do less when you’re used to doing (nearly) everything? And how do you do less when your house is on the market and you have to stage the house for showings? How do you do less when you already have four kids and are about to have another? How do you do less when you really wanted to finish your book before the baby comes, but you’re only on page 160? How do you do less when you’re terrified of not doing what you set out to do?
I realize that at a certain point, doing less is something that arrives, not something you opt for. I’ve been trying to finish chapter three for nearly a month–and making snail-like progress at best. So in that sense, I am already doing less. But that doesn’t feel so great when it’s not a conscious choice.
What should I opt for now? Keep on trying, with the mindset of taking advantage of any small opportunity that comes my way? Or give up on my weekly goals and the objective of having a nearly complete draft before the end of April–and instead, focus on my health and well-being, as well as my family’s? Or just give in temporarily, and see where things are at in a few weeks–even though this may add to the pressure?
What would you do?
Studio Mothers: Life & Art 